


Phantasma

by Draconovich



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII
Genre: A+ Parenting, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Beware Falling F Bombs, Cid Highwind Swears A Lot, Cloud Strife Has Mental Health Issues, Cloud has issues, Cloud is a dork, Cock & Ball Torture, Comrades in Vices, Dirty Secrets of Avalanche, Don Corneo's Porn Vault, Flashbacks, Fuhito is a fanboy, Fujoshi Yuffie, Gaia Damn it Reno, Gun Kink, Hojo has subscriptions, Hojo is Back, Humor, Hypothetical Fisting, Jenova Whispers, M/M, Masturbation, Nibelheim is the root of all Drama, Puppet Cloud Strife, Rape/Non-con Elements, Science Porn Pics, Sidequests, Tied and Denied, Weddings, molesterbation, sassy reno
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-13 17:01:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 41,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28531851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Draconovich/pseuds/Draconovich
Summary: Phantasma- the reality of what people think and what actually is can both be true.The world is recovering after the horrors of the Clone Trio and Deepground, Sephiroth is once more buried in the past... or is he? Hidden notes of Hojo's experiments have been discovered to exist but hidden far and wide, revealing that the data archived with ShinRa and stored in Nibelheim, may have been purposefully falsified to prevent reproduction of Project S. Various individuals seek these notes depicting the first tests, and the origin of the experiments, subject 00. Cloud is in a race to track down these notes before they, or 00, fall into the wrong hands while waging his inner battles against Jenova's whispers and Sephiroth's puppet strings.Hojo is alive against all odds, and had been living a covert life after his 'death'. Cloud outweighs his fear and hate for the man with his more recent realizations that demon was now a mere man and he needed Hojo. However, Reno reveals not merely Avalanche's true frightening core, but also a bit of an unexpected office camaraderie he held with the scientist, further revealing the more human aspects of both men who worked for ShinRa. Cloud finds it confusing, but curious.
Relationships: Cloud Strife/00, Cloud Strife/Cloud Strife, Hojo/Cloud Strife, Sephiroth/Cloud Strife
Comments: 11
Kudos: 43





	1. Obstacles to Overcome

**Phantasma  
Chapter 1: Obstacles to Overcome**

_“Our species can only survive if we have obstacles to overcome… Without them to strengthen us, we will weaken and die.”_

_\- James T. Kirk  
(Star Trek TOS: Metamorphosis) _

***  
 _Trigger Warning: Every word can possibly be triggering as I have learned. Even “it”. So, here’s the blanket warning. Check the tags. Proceed with caution if you are faint of heart._ _  
_ _Chapter Level:_ _Mild_ _  
__***_

The battles were over. The war with Sephiroth...not quite. Despite countless victories, countless killings of the hero turned destroyer God, he seemed to return time and again. That last time, it was with little siblings that were no less dangerous. Again. Jenova’s brood had been defeated. Deepground had been defeated. Admittedly, Deepground wasn’t ENTIRELY tied to a return of Sephiroth, but Hojo’s digital ghost was tied in and that was just as bad.  
  
There would always be another conflict, an endless parade of trauma and tragedy that threatened to beat and devour the people left alive. And yet, those people only grew stronger. They picked themselves up; gathered, rebuilt, faced the next threat, and the heroes of their era were wrought both from victims and enemy alike. ShinRa was not what it once was, not the bastion of artificial shining glory, but it carried on from a ragged rebirth to be the hidden cornerstone for the new government formed. The WRO… World Regenesis Organization.

“Commissioner Tuesti...”

“Just Reeve. It still sounds strange to hear you of all people call me by that title.”

The blonde executive smiled as he sat back with a creak of his chair and a sigh of pristine white cloth. The aching burn of Geostigma was gone, the whispers and compulsions cleansed from his mind, but Rufus Shinra was still haunted by the lingering helplessness he felt… not so much physically, but in how indebted he was. At least owing Reeve was no issue, but there were others, those he did know, and those he did not that he owed, and that was what put that subtle tension in his spine. He detested not knowing, wary of others that played games as much as he did. “Reeve. With the cure for the Geostigma now in play, I would think that now would be a perfect time for us to render our gratitude to the person who provided the prototype medication that slowed the spread and limited the ‘Jenova Whispers’. Gaia knows that without it, I would have not been able to have stepped out of that chair to fight.”

“I wish I could tell you Rufus, but really, I have to keep this business deal with them as private as I keep my business private with you.” The commissioner spoke, professional amenable presence melting slightly, groaning as he raked his fingers through the dark hair with a deep sigh. He’d put off this discussion... shirked, weaved and darted his way past it, though it made him nervous despite his front of honest sincerity. Reeve was never good at duplicitous games despite having to play the most absurd spy in the history of espionage, but THIS hand he was holding damn close to his chest.

“So, someone can pull the Puppet Master’s strings as well as I can.”

“For Shiva’s sake, Rufus! I wish you wouldn’t call me that. You make me sound like some kind of cat petting mastermind villain.”

“But you control puppets...”  
  
“More like childlike creations...”

“And you do have a cat.”

“...” Reeve groaned as he heard a snicker from the corner of the room where a particular redheaded stepchild of the Turks was lounging, closing his eyes as a pinch to the bridge of his nose was trying to stem his embarrassment at being caught in a technicality trap.

“Bossman’s got ya there, yo.”

“So, would you rather I call you Geppetto?”

“No, Reeve would be just fine, thank you, Rufus.”

“So, about that treatment...”

“Please… the Geostigma crisis is over...” Reeve attempted to close the book on the issue.

“Isn’t that treatment similar to the one the company used on SOLDIERs to keep them stable?” Rufus fished casually as he sipped the soothing warm cup of coffee with a predatory relish, locking his eyes upon the man across from him at the meeting table, and as those grey eyes raised to the azure ones of the young executive, the blonde’s lips curled up into a smug smirk.  
  
“In fact, I think it’s nice how the WRO has been providing a rehab program for the SOLDIERs and others exposed to the enhancing substances...” he gently skirted the term ‘research subjects’ “...including the administration of Mako treatments and stabilizer.” 

The nearby couch creaked as Reno sat up, and that sound was acknowledged as Rufus stared directly to the good willed man who paled, giving so much information to the Heir of the crumbled (but not dead) ShinRa Empire.

“Dr Shalua Rui was a very fine and intelligent woman...” Reeve began, but he was cut short as Rufus tapped his neatly manicured nail against the ceramic mug, filling the air with a staccato of soft tinking sounds that fostered the anxious energy in the other man. 

“But she never worked in that section of the Research Department...and that data had been lost...”

“Nibelheim’s library...” Reeve began to protest.

“Is filled with nothing but useless trash.”

“It isn’t THAT old...”

“I suspect it isn’t that accurate.” To this, Reeve straightened sharply as a well worn old diary of a book was slid upon the table, and by the recognition the good commissioner had upon the sight of it, Rufus knew that he had the other man caught in a nice tidy trap… he KNEW something. The engineer exhaled a ragged breath, sagging in his seat as he realized Rufus ensnared him completely.

“How many of these have you found...” Reeve asked, voice breathy and low as if cautious of other ears to hear beyond the sound proofed room.

“Two. In rather surprising locations I had not expected, one of which was a Chocobo Farm south of Wutai, and the other in my Father’s Costa Del Sol villa. It seems a particular someone wanted to scatter these as far and wide as possible. Understandable. How many have you found?”

Reeve rubbed his bearded chin, frowning slightly with a locked gaze upon the book, both unsettled and unbearably curious about what was hidden on those pages. “One. It was found in Midgar buried in the rubble of a Wutian restaurant by one of the search crews.”

“I see.” Rufus stated. “Well, he was a paranoid man about his research. His spats with Hollander were as comical to watch as they were frustrating on a business level. Though, suffice it to say, the treatment formulas did NOT come from Hollander’s staff… so, Reeve… that leaves only someone from Professor Hojo’s department, furthermore someone from the SOLDIER program research division.”

Reno’s head was perked, cerulean eyes locked to the pair and sparkling with a keen intensity as the jokester dropped the playful act and held a fixated watchfulness.

“And this is why I held their wish for secrecy, Rufus. If people found out, there would be a reckoning. If Avalanche found out...”

“There would be blood spilled.”

“Yes.” Reeve stated, looking suddenly very weary, sagging in his seat in a deflated crumble of human being. It was funny. He could handle crisis after crisis, acting fast and thinking fast, but Rufus Shinra could wear him down in just a banter of words. “And considering Geostigma was something that shot us out of the blue, we need all the expertise we can get to make sure another Sephiroth or Jenova disaster is minimized.”

“Yes. And this is why I wish to work with you, Reeve.” Rufus finally stated. “What I have read in these books, knowing how many more volumes there are...” He trailed off his words as he casually plucked his PHS out from his pocket and began tapping away. “... well, I would prefer you and I team up to hunt as many of these down before anyone else does. Imagine if, say, Avalanche would find these...”  
  
“There is not much they can do… the heroes would most likely bury them again or burn them. Mr. Wallace isn’t much for scientific journals.”

“No… the OTHER Avalanche. The first one.” As the PHS was slid forward, revealing a figure upon the screen, Reeve lurched out of his seat in a burst of kinetic alarm, hands planted on either side of the phone in a loud thump that reverberated on the table. His breath caught in a raw tremulous quaver as he felt a fight or flight energy sizzle through his body as he stared down to the person, the figure on the screen. “That’s… but he’s been dead! The Turks and SOLDIER killed him! Right…. right?” The worry in his voice matched the worry in Reeve’s eyes as he looked up to the younger man for reassurance.

This response seemed to satisfy something in Rufus, settling one last worry, and he pushed the book forward finally as he collected back his PHS to pocket in a smooth motion. Good. “At least I know your secret miracle worker isn’t Fuhito. Now, let us discuss this urgent little scavenger hunt, shall we?”

***

“For Fuck’s sake, kid, stop fidgeting!”

“I can’t help it.” The blonde whispered to the pilot, shifting slightly... feeling tight, confined. He was wrapped in supple restraints that made his back straighten. It was a suit. A tuxedo. Complete with tie and snug shined shoes, somehow it felt far more restrictive than the layers of buckles and leather he’d been leaping into battle in over the years.

“What, ya got ants in your pants, Boy?” The cleaned up and professional man remarked beside him, also in a matching suit but filling it out well. Perhaps Cloud was a tad jealous.

A giggle from the other side of the tuxedo clad pilot earned a sharp twitch to the mako tinted blue eyes. “I think he wanted to wear the dress.” And rather than dignify that remark with an answer, Cloud reached behind the taller man to grab the ninja in a sharp pinch to the back of her neck, making her squeal a yelp that drew every pair of eyes in the rebuilt church to the trio stationed in dignified preparation, and immediately the three stilled and quieted down.

A wedding. He had never been to one before. Oh, he had seen them in movies, seen pictures and videos. But he never thought he would go to one. And there he stood next to Yuffie who was dressed in a sheer pastel materia green gown, the only ‘bride’s maid’. Across from them were the Turks lined up in suits, even Elena. But what struck him the oddest, was that between Elena and Reno was Vincent. Of course, that DID make sense. Once a Turk, always a Turk, Cloud supposed. Evidently their joint battle against the Tsviets brought the gunman back to his roots with the group.

The pews were filled with many familiar faces, more on the Bride’s side than the Groom’s, but to be fair, the seats were filled with the faces that made the timeline of their lives during these events. Reeve, as the absolute bridging party between ShinRa and Avalanche stood in perfect place to preside over the blessed event.

Rude looked more nervous than the swordsman had ever seen the man, but to be perfectly honest, Cloud figured he had every right to be. Not only was he beginning a new future with an incredible woman, but forming an alliance in one swoop. Cloud suspected the nervousness had more to do with Tifa than anything, because the second the doors opened an the music started, the Turk slipped his glasses off to pocket away, and the unbridled awe and adoration in those brown hues were unmistakable as the stoic man smiled, his neutral control slipped in the face of the woman who stood like the Goddess herself.

Tifa was beautiful, clad in a white dress that, while nothing too extravagant in these times compared to what she deserved as a hero, it was still beautiful, flowing with a feminine grace in a radiant billow of fabric, her smile as warm and gentle as the sunlight dipping into the church. As Denzel and Marlene lead the way with flower petals and a ring bundle, Cloud’s breathing stopped still, seeing those flowers, those familiar flowers gathered in a bouquet that pricked his heart in a pang of wistfulness and nostalgia, wrapped at the base in that ribbon they all wore even in their finery of this moment. Aerith’s flowers.They were everywhere in the church they were in, the cleansing pool shimmering with blessed water and the church repaired around it as a sacred ground. But in Tifa’s hands, they held a special meaning, and as Barret guided her like a proud father, the moment was truly beatific. Blessed and sacred, and even Rufus who sat in the pews seemed to be enthralled by the sanctity.

“If ya hurt her, I’ll kill ya.” Barret’s mutter rumbled in the church, and for a moment, silence reigned, the music quirking into a halt. Then the bride punched her makeshift ‘father’ in his broad shoulder, laughter filled the air, and the blessings commenced.

But the sounds, the sights faded out. Everything seemed to bleed from Cloud’s senses, fogged as a dull ringing filled his ears, only to be replaced by low whispered words. “That could have been yours... Cloud.” An eerily chillingly familiar voice that made his blood race, breath catching with the way it whispered his name. No. Not this. Not now. He would not listen.

“Cloud.” A familiar voice. He anchored himself behind his inner walls.

“Cloud?” A faint voice.

“YO, PLANET TO FUCKIN’ SPACE CADET!”

Jerking to with a sudden sucked in breath that made his lungs burn, Cloud snapped his gaze to Cid who eyed him grimly, and the fighter glanced around to try to regather his situation. He was met with a good many eyes staring in a range of exasperation, concern, confusion, and a few with a knowing look of consideration… one set of which was Rufus’. “What?”

“The rings, ya dork.” Yuffie hissed, using humor to gloss over his awkward moment that bordered on concerning.

“Whatever.” Cloud stated, but he walked to the pair with the bundle wrapped in the matching ribbon, a small blessing by Aerith for their happiness, or so Yuffie claimed as she wound it. It just made a moment of frustration for him as his slightly shaking hands nearly launched the precious hoops when he finally yanked the ribbon free. He swore he could hear the Ancient giggling at him in the Lifestream.

Everything rolled more smoothly after that, and he eased as the pair of brawlers tied their knot into domestic bliss. A soft smile touched his lips as they kissed, feeling both a small bite of frustration, and a sudden odd easing of weight from his soul. Some part of him had for a long time felt that he would be the one to take care of her, but it was more a sense of obligation than actual love. She got the perfect match in the somewhat shy hitman that treated her as a true gentleman with chivalry that belonged in fables.

Later on the afterparty, catered by ShinRa and the alcohol provided by the Turks, was a rip roaring affair, and possibly a momentous occasion of a fully formed truce between Avalanche and ShinRa that would probably never make it into the history books. The 7th Heaven was closed for business for the party, and it was a remarkable affair of revelry and stories… some even shared anecdotes of the same events by different perspectives. Cloud didn’t talk much, just helped with the bartending. “Scotch, neat. I hope you are not turning into that morose husk again, SOLDIER First Class Strife.” The voice came smooth and calm.

“I’m not! That was part of the Geosti...” Cloud paused his protest, looking to Rufus. “I’m not REALLY a SOLDIER, you know.” He continued as he prepared the drink, pouring the dark golden liquid over the ice and rest his elbows in the bar after he placed it in front of the taller man.

“Yes, you are.”

“No, I’m not. I was never accepted into the program.”

“My company. My program. My rules.” Rufus replied as he collected the glass, swirling the amber alcohol before sipping it, and he watched the confusion and realization dawn in those mako laced eyes, the expressions scampered across the face that looked too soft and youthful for the hardened warrior.

“Wait, what?”

“Congratulations on your promotion, terribly delayed as it may be.” Rufus remarked offhandedly before he gestured. “Of course, with the program over, now, I suppose that makes your promotion the last one on the record.”

“C’mon, Cloud!” Reno chimed in, grinning as he leaned close to the bar. “Boss is making nice! You always said you were a SOLDIER First Class, so now you really are one, yo!”

“I don’t get why. And it doesn’t matter now... all of it’s over. What do you want in return Rufus?” Cloud replied flatly, knowing all too well how the clever man worked. Nothing came without a price somewhere.

“Consider it my thanks for healing the Geostigma.” The young executive replied, sipping the scotch calmly. “Though, it looks like you’re having some issues still...” He gave Reno a long look, and then the redheaded fox of a Turk snatched the bottle of whiskey and a pair of shot glasses.  
  
“Yo, Vinny! Old man! Turk duel challenge! I’ll drink you under the table, yo!” He called out with a saucy swagger to the dark haired man who sat quiet and watchful at a table.

“This will not end well.” Vincent replied in gentle warning, but soon Yuffie was raising a ruckus, starting a betting pool, and the crowd gathered to place wagers and watch the battle of the bottle between the Turks.

“You should stop him, Rufus. He has a huge disadvantage to Vincent...” Cloud began with an edge of concern. What would happen if Reno had alcohol poisoning? What if Vincent became so drunk he lost control of his demons? Could THEY get drunk too?

“Oh, he knows, Strife. But it will keep everyone busy long enough for us to have this little chat.”

“About...”

“The SOLDIER treatments are not working for you, are they.” Resting his chin upon his hand, the calculating man studied the deceptively petite fighter before him that seemed to grow haggard in but a few seconds. Cloud was strong, and put up a strong front. But he was in constant battle...if not without, then within.  
  
As he saw the pouty grim purse of the young man’s lips the executive shook his head. ”No. I’m not mocking you. Believe it or not, I am trying to mend the loose ends of my company, and one of them is you. You were never in the actual SOLDIER program… so the treatments would probably not be as effective. After all, the methods in making you...what you are… were different, weren’t they. I'm not asking for details mind you, but I understand that what you need is different. Unfortunately, the WRO cannot give you that.”

Cloud flinched, and poured himself a shot to down with a wince. It was painful. It was painful because it was true. Despite trying to hide it, the Hero was slipping, losing himself bit by bit despite the treatments. Rufus knew, he even saw Cloud slip during the ceremony earlier. “Are you saying YOU can?”

“I am saying there is someone out there that the WRO is going to for these treatment formulas.”

And there it was. Cloud sighed as he peered into the empty depths of the glass, slowly looking up to lock his gaze with the practical blue of the man across the bar from him. “But you don’t know who it is.” Rufus shook his head slowly. 

“Reeve has been rather mum on the subject. And nervous.”

”So you want to send me out like a hunting dog to find this person...”

“Well, that is entirely up to you, of course. And truth be told, I would like for you to do a recover and delivery job. What you discover along the way is entirely on you.” He smiled, placing a worn hard leather bound journal of a book down upon the bar top. “After all, the Strife Delivery Service is the best around. I am willing to pay double your fees to cover the inconvenience. However, I am seeking the other books like this… and I am not the only one.” He nodded to Reeve who was laughing with Yuffie, cheering on Vincent who was currently calmly drinking Reno under the table. “We are both in accord that finding these books are vital. And after what you had been through… well, I figured there might be something of interest in there. Feel free to think on it tonight. Read as much or as little of this book as you wish and let me know in the morning.”

“You have to be real desperate to come to ME about this, Rufus. Why should a bunch of books be so important to anyone?”  
  
“Consider what a ‘bunch of books’ did to Sephiroth.” 

Cloud stiffened, his spine straightening as he gripped that book on the bar… something that had seemed so mundane, so scholarly, so negligible at first then seemed like a foreboding artifact.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes:  
> AUTHOR’S NOTES: The General stuff
> 
> 1\. DISCLAIMER: Final Fantasy VII, the setting, and the characters therein are property of Square-Enix, created by an amazing team, and inspired a good many people. I do not own any of the characters or setting, but I am playing in the world with a fan’s love. If you haven’t bought the FFVIIR remake, go out and get it! A fantastic adventure. Also, that soundtrack is glorious.
> 
> 2\. CHAPTER QUOTES: What writer doesn’t love using inspirational quotes, and there are the usual ones people go to… songs, Shakespear, famous writers and scientists. I decided to go full challenge and use James T Kirk quotes. Why? For one thing, I wanted a creative challenge. And the other...as campy as the character may be, there are some inspirational yet human quotes. Well, with what I have planned, it works well!
> 
> 3\. TRIGGERS: Every. Word. Is. A. Potential. Trigger. Literature is a den of dangers. If you are a blooming flower not ready to handle a literary storm that can grow hot and thrilling, you might want to either buckle in for a wild ride, or find a milder fic. Any trigger complaints will be forwarded to the HR department of ACME Writers LLC as trigger complaints are above my paygrade. I just work here as a writer.
> 
> 4\. LEVELS OF SPICE: So people have an idea what to expect, I have levels of intensity, or ‘spicy’ as I call it. Starting with Mild, Medium, Hot… and going from there, the reader can have an idea what to expect without me giving away everything that’s happening in the header note. Check the tags, because they get updated with every chapter.
> 
> 5\. SOMEWHAT AU: Somewhat AU because I add to the lore (what’s fanfiction without crack pairings) and adjust it here and there intentionally, but all in all, it’s the world of the Compilation. But if something seems out of place, it’s intentional, most likely. I’d been into FFVII since the first release. Also, keep the ‘But in Remake it’s...’ badgering to a minimum.
> 
> 6\. HOJO: Here’s what I know some of you are here for (he does have his fans), and I hope you will be in for a surprise. This is a character I intend to represent in a deeper manner, different than the ‘evil cackling mad scientist just because evil and mad’. I like to think of cause and effect, and I do enjoy exploring the grey zones. Hence the title, Phantasma...the reality of what people think and what actually is can both be true. 
> 
> 7\. FEEDBACK: I am always grateful for readers, and any feedback is loved more than you can imagine! This story line is one I have been nursing for a while, tinkered with and discussed with other people, but I want to share it with many people! Speculations are always welcome, and how things struck people. 
> 
> 8\. ARTISTS: Are loved and adored! If this inspires you, you have my blessing. I will make links to any art you share and give love and credits!
> 
> AUTHOR’S NOTES: The Chapter Stuff
> 
> 1\. NEW CHAPTER, NEW STORY: Setting the groundwork, this is probably going to be one of the milder chapters. Setting the tone and getting the flavour of the characters and writing is paramount here, and I wanted to cover that first. It feels a bit slow, but trust me, it will be picking up very swiftly, very soon.
> 
> 2\. WEDDING: Let's face it, we’d be here all week if I described everyone and everything in the wedding. As Cloud was not exactly all there, I felt that the ghosting through the ceremony would mirror his own perception of the event. Still. Congrats to the sweetest fists in the series.
> 
> 3\. CLOUD: The one I find most interesting to write is the dorky, sometimes confused, but earnest one… grumpy brooding, not so much. He does have darker moments, but it’s balanced out. I figured the AC period was a side effect of the Geostigma, him walling himself in, and the constant mental attacks drawing him from other people.
> 
> 4\. 00: 00 is technically not quite an OC, as code names and numbers are a thing in this Universe. A lot of dot connecting and lore crawling as well as speculation work went into this. More information to come If you are familiar with this (from RP), no spoilers, please!
> 
> 5\. FUHITO: He’s back, baby! Because a good villain is hard to kill, and he was picked off way too easy according to Before Crisis.


	2. It's a Mystery

**Chapter 2: It’s A Mystery**

_“It’s a mystery. And I don’t like mysteries. They give me a bellyache, and I got a beauty right now.”_

_\- James T. Kirk  
(Star Trek TOS: Metamorposis) _

***  
 _Generic All Purpose Trigger Warning_ . _Check the tags._   
_Chapter Level: Hot_

***

_Diary 5  
[ μ ] - εγλ 1978 Odin, 7  
  
Jenova Research Project Diary   
Professor S. Hojo, penned in parts by Professor L. Crescent  
  
With great success, subject 00 has shown noticeable improvements over the past five days and has regained nominal functionality and coherency. No lasting damage is evident from the Jenova ‘slugs’, and scrotal swelling has reduced with no lingering pain (yet sensitivity has been noticeably increased). Though the size of the testicles are 7% larger than before… however there are no signs of rupture or blockages of blood or seminal vessels.  
  
Physical alterations that are primarily evident after the introduction of the Jenova samples and Mako testing have presented both externally and internally. The results are addressed as followed in the categories of data.  
  
Auditory: Hearing has been enhanced… able to detect slightly above and below the register of average humans, though certain sounds seem to inspire an emotional response on an instinctive level. Appreciation of music has increased.  
  
Optical: Iris has shifted hues from hazel to a vibrant green and contains a luminous quality… most likely as a result of the Mako. The subject’s depth of vision has improved, and the range of colours are broader, it seems, though the description of the enhanced visible spectrum is difficult to place, it makes finding living or moving objects quicker to see. Light sensitivity has become a mild issue, but simpler to adapt to, though prolonged exposure to artificial light creates head pain in the locations marked in the diagrams below. For the sake of the subject’s comfort (and prevent him from twitching at every visual movement) 00 will be blindfolded to prevent agitation by fluorescent work lights when being inspected on the table.   
LC: On a side note, the blind fold seems to calm the subject and make it more amenable to our research.   
  
Skin: Subject 00 has had visual adjustments to the epidermis… scars and cuts having vanished and skin renewed in a regenerative matter. The skin hue is decidedly more pale than before, though lacking a tone of jaundice or signs of poor health, and has become more pliant and supple. A depilatory effect has taken place, rendering body hair to fall away save for eyebrows, eye lashes, and scalp hair. 00 has shown a curious raise in sensitivity to touch, however, the differential between pain and pleasure seem to have a miswiring in the subject’s nerves, but the tolerance for pain is increased. Gradually, the pain from Mako exposure lessens over time, and the skin does not show signs of chemical burn or a flushing from it.  
  
Oral/Nasal: Sense of taste has been altering since the introduction of Mako, but further with the introduction of the Jenova samples. Subject 00 claims to have enhanced taste accompanied with an enhanced sense of smell… however, revulsion to certain scents seem to cause an almost visceral reaction. Side note: No peppermint or menthol allowed in any form in the facility.   
LC: Catnip, however, makes for amusing reactions._

_Reflexes/Coordination: Reflexes and coordination have shown signs of improving, however, there are times when a dizzying sensation may strike, rendering 00 poorly able to move or respond to the surrounding world. In the occasional state, there are times when it seems the mind is occupied, yet the body is fully functional, though response to the team seems to be nonexistent. Once back to awareness, the subject rarely remembers what their active body was doing.  
  
Cellular level: There is a remarkable amount of surprises to be seen under the microscope, especially considering how cellular decay had been reduced to practically a standstill. If this is a persistent alteration in the biological structure of the subject… combined with the regenerative factor seen in cells… then there will be a high potential for greatly reduced or ceased aging. There is a very active metabolism, but it requires more and adjusted nutrition from the person. _

_Jenova Sample: There is a strange tie between the Jenova sample ‘slugs’ in the jars, and the subject. They grow placid when the subject is placid, they grow agitated when 00 is likewise. A hivelike connection between fragments and the subject host lead to a theory that if dispersed, they could be drawn back together. A Reunion.  
LC: Initially, the subject 00 showed signs of distress and agitation as it claimed that the Jenova cells and the slugs were ‘whispering’ and spiking compulsions and cravings. It raised a rather annoying ruckus the first few days, but acclimated to the Jenova samples implanted within and now seemed to be more capable to coherently provide feedback and resume the research. _

_LC: Tomorrow, we will migrate to a Mako suspension bath treatment… 00 will be in for a surprise when it wakes up. Perhaps suspension therapy will make it a less jittery and anxious specimen. It was less than pleased to wake up with its number tattooed with a specimen tracking barcode, but I am certain it will be the best way to mark successful subjects in the future._

***

Cloud had to close the book, shuddering as he sat back in his bed with a creak. Only three pages in, and it chilled him to the bone. If he had not looked at the date… he would have sworn it would have been a fragment of his own fractured past in Hojo’s hand in Nibelheim. But. It was familiar, damn familiar, and what bothered him was how a person… an actual person, was nothing more than a number. Less than, considering how the number designated a prototype. It was utterly inhumane. And somehow, he found it hit uncomfortably close to home.   
  
But, it began to raise more questions. 00 couldn’t be Sephiroth… this was before he was even born, judging by the date of the diary, and his designation number was 01. So then, who? And were they still alive? At the very least, he knew WHY Rufus came to HIM about this of all the people. Cloud not only was possibly one of the best at digging up old dirt and running around the Planet to track something down, but he would find a personal interest in someone who had evidently been through the same sordid hell as he did. Perhaps this could be Sephiroth’s true father. Oh, most of them had thought it was Vincent… though, come to find out… the ex-turk had an interest in other men, if what Cid shamelessly told him was true.

Imagining Hojo fathering Sephiroth was something he did not like to do, albeit their off kilter mental states did have much in common. It was simply impossible to imagine someone that ghoulish siring a man that ethereal and handsome. Groaning as his mind had dawdled down an old avenue, Cloud exhaled a deep sigh. An unnamed person, though, that was more likely. But, that began to raise the question… what about the books in Nibelheim? This was written in the same handwriting… albeit the different handwriting was evident in the annotated parts, obvious by the other person listed… Crescent. Shifting lower on the bed to rest his head on the pillow, Cloud frowned slightly. He didn’t read the books from Nibelheim… he read a few pages, read the synopsis on the notes from Reeve to try to answer a few of his personal questions. Finally, he relented, rolling over on the bed to grab his PHS, scrolling through the names before he fired a message to the person who gave him this unsettling book to read.   
  
[Was 00 in the Nibelheim Archive or ShinRa database?]   
  
And the answer that followed was simple, succinct, and Cloud breathed a ragged sound of a sigh when it arrived. [No.] Cloud’s hands felt over the book that looked so… humble. A small leather journal, not as nice as the ones he had seen under the Mansion. More of a diary and less of a professional medical notebook. Why? Why create more than one set of books?

Why. That was the question that haunted Cloud Strife, a question that wounded him yet guided him over the years. One that brought him both hope and hopelessness. “Why do I even care?” Cloud muttered as he rolled over and buried his head into the pillow after he flicked the light on the side table off to cast the room in darkness.

“Why? Why do you fight? Why do you resist?” Like a silky caress, that low voice slipped through Cloud’s mind as he was consumed by the darkness in the room. “Why.” Then, he was in the Library. He could see the books. He could smell them, smell the lingering scents of things of an unnatural past.  
  
“Why… did they never tell me? Why would they lie?” Sephiroth muttered from behind a stack of books as Cloud shuffled over with a tray with food and water.   
  
”Uhm, General… Sir… Maybe you need a break. I brought you some stew. Mom always said that a good warm meal warms the heart and soul.”

Haunting electric venom green eyes raised up to the trooper who approached… however, there was far too much weariness for it to be a hard look, an almost jagged fragility like crystal with a crack in it. Just one tap and it could shatter. Cloud moved forward and found a spot upon the desk to begin placing the bowl, the small basket of earthy warm molasses bread, and the water as if he was the one in a position of higher authority. “Eat.”

The man of legend, a hero and an idol for Cloud, looked almost unrecognizable. With his hair pulled up into a high messy ponytail, a pair of reader glasses perched on his nose, and wearing his sleeping sweats and a loose sweater, he looked nothing like the being the world respected or feared. Sliding his glasses off, he tried to peer grimly to Cloud, but the small soft featured trooper managed to win, and he picked up the spoon. “You’re such a Mother Chocobo, Private First Class Strife.”

It was so familiar, Cloud knew this was a memory, but so vivid, but it was not something he remembered. It was a dream, or it must have been a dream of a memory, but he could not change anything, he could only observe.

Cloud, however, gave a slight huff at being related to the adorable yet dangerous birds before he crossed his arms over his chest. “Well, someone has to be the adult, General Sephiroth.”

“Careful...” Sephiroth murmured over the spoon. “... disrespecting your superiors can be a court martial worthy offense.” His eyebrows rose, and suddenly he was eating with a little more interest.

“Good thing that there’s just a shut in in here who isn’t on the clock.”

“Brat.” The General clipped back with a rising note of amusement.

“Nerd.” Cloud countered back. Sephiroth smirked into the spoon, able to smile for once after the past day or so, his swirling dark and confused thoughts put at ease by the banter he was beginning to enjoy with Cloud.

“If you fought with weapons as well as you do with words and gumption, you would make a decent SOLDIER and an interesting challenger on the training field.”

“I applied...” Cloud remarked, before he looked down to the tray in his hands, fidgeting as he pursed his lips, torn between frustration and hurt. “...but I was turned down. Too small.”

“Smacks of Heidegger more than Hojo.” Sephiroth muttered into his water with a grimace of distaste, but with the baffled look from Cloud, he sat back, rubbing over his eyes. “Heidegger has a strange view that every SOLDIER should be an abnormally tall wall of muscle. The man does not know the tactical advantage of smaller fighters that move swiftly and are better for entry or combat into smaller contained spaces. Hojo...” He gave an annoyed growl, looking to the books before he gripped the crockery cup between both hands to drink “...would scoop you up for the program… or one of the OTHERS he has under his belt. He believes that children born near reactors or in Mako dense areas tend to adapt better to enhancements”. Though, the way Sephiroth stated that betrayed a rather haunting ire.

“You almost sound glad that I didn’t get accepted in.” Cloud interrupted, trying to process the flitting flickers of Sephiroth’s emotions.

“Maybe I am. If you joined, it would shatter your innocence…”

“But...” That voice whispered slick as silk against Cloud’s ear as the Sephiroth in the memory spoke, but there was no sound, his image growing fuzzier. “...you want that innocence to be lost...” A gloved hand reached up to caress over Cloud’s neck like an intimate lover, an erotic brush of cool silken hair against his cheek, the scents of leather, metal, and the rich exotic scents that were wholly Sephiroth surrounding him. 

“Go… away. You’re not real...” Cloud rasped the words with a tongue that felt too thick, dancing out to wet his lips.   
  
“Am I… Cloud?” The way that voice purred, the husky low drawl of his name drew a ragged breath from the blonde swordsman’s throat, one that felt the warmth of that grip and the buttery softness of leather clad fingers stroking his neck. His pulse quickened, heart thumping in his chest as the blonde felt his every nerve alight, a rush of a shameful heat slithering down his spine. He couldn’t pull away, couldn’t attack. His very arms and legs could not do much more than twitch in paralysis. Darkness… darkness everywhere, it made the words maddeningly intimate the slightest touch an incredible caress upon his senses.

“...you’re… it’s… a dream....” Cloud tried to reason, closing his eyes as if it could clear his head, maybe even wake him, but a sudden brush against his chest drew a sharp gasp from Cloud, and he quivered, but he did not want to open his eyes. What if it was really HIM?!

“Is it… Cloud?” He could feel it, a finger rubbing over his left nipple in slow circles, rubbing the fabric of his shirt into the budding sensitive skin.

“Sephiroth…” The name came as a low appalled gasp as that hand at his throat was stroking in sensual slow caresses, bordering between a slow squeeze to make his pulse pound in his ears to a soft caress of fingers along the vulnerable column.  
  
“Yes… say my name… Cloud...” Anger was hampered by fear and horror as he could not seem to move his limbs. Oh, but he could FEEL! His blood was burning much to his alarm and old lingered fantasies from his youth dug their way from where they were buried under layers of horror, war, and betrayal.

“Sephiroth...” He gasped the name as he felt that one finger upon his tingling nipple become two, rolling the trapped bud of flesh. “...you’re… not… real...” Cloud shivered, gasping that Mantra that a (very unhelpful) SOLDIER PTSD therapist told him in regards to the vivid visions and nightmares. “Not… Real, hngh!” That hand at his throat gave a tight squeeze, cutting his air off along with his pulse until he felt it pounding, his breath aching and burning in his chest counterpointed by rapid flicks of his nipple pinched between the thumb and finger. His eyes snapped open as a strange tingling intense sensation was racing through his body, every flick of his nipple feeling like a string going down to his navel was being pulled tighter, plucked. Spots danced before his eyes as saliva dribbled past his quivering plush lips.

“Oh… do you want to know how real I am not?” A purr of smoke and sin coaxed against Cloud’s ear as that hand released it’s grip and grasped his chin to tilt his head down to look to where one of those black gloved hands was teasing his abused nipple through the shirt, and the other slid through Cloud’s panting lips to lightly caress his tongue, saliva gathering along those fingers as Cloud fought for air. 

His hands, his legs! No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t move them! And with the return of the bloodflow to his brain, of air to his lung, he was swept up in the strangest of thrilling highs despite his terror, making choked slurped sounds around those fingers intimately making slow fucking motions against his tongue.

“If I am not real, would you be hearing me? If I am not real… would you be FEELING me?” Sinful velvet words loaded with a knowing and desirous corruption were cooed into his ear, curling around his brain… and fueling the fire raging through his body. His blood felt like it was burning, and as those fingers left his lips, a ragged frustrated sound escaped as those slickened black leather fingers delved under his shirt where he was helpless to watch (with baited breath) as they neared his tormented nipple… and once they began to molest that bud of flesh, he trembled violently from the intensity of the sensation (pleasure). It was obscene watching the lump squirm under the cloth, to feel the sensations, but when that other hand slowly slithering down his torso, it nearly made him come unhinged. 

“No...stop! Sephiroth!” Bad… it was horrible… but felt so good. It sent thrills racing down his spine, his muscles heated with tension and twitching and stretching, much like how combat felt. But worst of all… he was pulled up until that hand reached first for his right leg to pull aside, then the left… spreading them in an obscene wideness like a whore begging for a good lay… and there, in the middle of his boxers… was the most cruel of evidence… a prominent tent, the arousal that betrayed him.

  
“Look at you, Cloud, isn’t this what you wanted? Isn’t this REAL?”

  
“NNN-hngh!”His shout was choked back to silence as a sharp pinch of his slickened nipple brought a thrilling spike of pain, making his tent twitch, and that black gloved hand stroked in light pets over his trapped erection, bringing gasped sounds as he heard a hushing sound beside his ear.

“Now...now… Cloud… Make sure you keep quiet. Wouldn’t want to wake anyone up, now would you.” The gentle pets were continuing, and the most Cloud could manage was little bucks or jerks of his hips… though, if he was trying to get away, or trying to buck INTO that unwanted but increasingly desired touch. Alarm and dread began to wash over him.

“Wh...what...do..oooohnngh...” Shaky words turned into a moan that was quickly bitten into as those fingers began to stroke more firmly, black leather fingers spreading out and groping that peak in his shorts, and his thighs quivered with an erotic tension.

“Open your eyes....”Sephiroth rumbled like a hungry predator as those silver bangles gleamed, leather clad fingers beginning to stroke more as his nipple was tormented further under the shirt. Open his eyes? But they were… weren’t they?

“They’re… open...grrrrngh! Stop pinching that!” He bit between his teeth as not only did those slick fingers under the shirt pinch his nipple and started twisting it, the other hand gave his exposed package a tap that made his entire body jolt in an oddly euphoric pain. 

“Let’s try this again…. Open your eyes...” That whisper seeped into his ear, sent his cells tingling as those hands began stroking with an intent to drive him to the edge of sanity. “…my puppet.”

A sharp gasp escaped Cloud, and he blinked past sweat covered bangs clinging to his face. His pants were coming in raw gasps, and he was staring up into the room, and for a moment, he thought he had escaped a horrible nightmare. Until a sting upon his throbbing nipple drew a hiss from him. 

“No...” It couldn’t be… “No no no….” Had to be a dream...HE was dead… but he felt the spine tingling pleasure and pain at his chest, and between his wide spread legs...he could feel that stroking over his trapped tucked length and sinful fingers curling to tease his balls through the fabric, making his thighs flutter slightly in twitches. Pleasure was warring with horror as he raised his head… expecting to see those black gloves… see the silver bangles….

And all he saw were his own hands. Operating, all on their own. At first shame and humiliation filled him as he dropped his head back on the pillow. “Thought I was losing my damn mind.” He groaned, but then...he realized, he couldn’t stop.

“Perhaps it was not yours in the first place...” That eerie voice whispered in his ear, and horror danced with panic along his spine, eyes widening.   
  
Snapping his head to look down, he parted his lips to say something, then suddenly gave a sharp hissed groan as both hands squeezed in warning.

“Now now… this is the real world. You would not wish to wake them up… would you?” A panicked look turned to the door, and he choked back on words he wanted to snarl, shaking his head to the voice he heard teasing him. “Good Puppet… now look...”

“Gaia… no...” Cloud whispered softly as he closed his eyes, and he saw those gloves again… but now, he realized, they were on HIS hands. They trailed up to his chest, leaving his aching arousal in neglect as they drew his shirt up to display his swollen terribly abused nipples flushed so deep a pink they were red and perked to thick buds. Opening his eyes once more, he stared as his own hands began to tease those throbbing tender nubs of flesh in maddening circles, beginning with the calloused pads of his fingertips to the sharp edge of his nails giving little scrapes and sending waves of giddy arousal through his body to his displayed groin where his aching length was twitching under the fabric visibly. He could not look away, enthralled by his own hands molesting himself ever so tenderly. “Sephiroth...” He groaned as his hips desperately tried to move, only managing a slight fraction of a shift, creating a maddening friction instead of relief.

“That’s a good Puppet. Now...” His hands trailed down to the tent made taut by his legs spread wide to his sides. Wide splayed fingers raking along his inner thighs made Cloud’s breath grow into ragged fluttered gasps, heart pounding as they teased across the nerves of his groin, gathering the shorts then pulling them tight to make an increasingly snug compressing bundle of his tormentedly neglected arousal that he wanted so desperately to touch. He was awash in horror, aching in need, and desperate to swallow every sound.   
  
“...I want you to know your place. To obey...” That low voice purred across his ears, filled his head and lit his blood on fire as his body craved IT. HIM. And as his fingers of his other hand trailed down to his rather tightly trapped testicles, his guided fingers gripped the fabric of his boxers and pulled, tearing the material in an obscene loud sound in the dark quiet. His tight trapped cock oozed pre to soak into the tight strained cotton as his sac dropped out to hang heavy and full, exposed and vulnerable and as humiliatingly smooth and devoid of hair as human flesh could be. Whimpered groans gathered into the hero’s throat as his traitorous fingers slithered down to cup his proud pair. “To be useless for anyone other than me.” Suddenly, a fleshy smack filled the air as his guided hands gave a swat to his dangling testicles to make his body spasm and jerk, the flushed fleshy package dancing even as his cock twitched. Cloud managed to swallow and choke on the cry that wanted to burst from his throat, managing only a punched grunt as that small strike made stars dance in his vision like Golden Saucer fireworks, but his cock twitched and oozed pre, a warped pleasure seeming to stem from the agony. He shook his head in desperation, but then another swat followed, making his wide spread legs spasm and body jolt.   
  
“You...shall... never… please...a....woman...” Each word was accented by those slaps until his bruised balls felt burning hot, swollen and tears began to well in his eyes. “Because these...” Sephiroth cooed in his ear even as his own fingers cupped his abused sac, giving a light caress as if to sooth the pain away. “...because YOU… belong to me.” Gentle fingers turned cruel and began to tighten in an increasing grip that made pain, panic, and a strange euphoria rise in Cloud, horrified that he could not stop… and some slithering part of him wanting to offer his precious organs as an offering to a god, a joy that he could give HIM something so special, that Sephiroth would want IT from him.   
  
As his grip increased, those fingers tightening around those precious orbs, Cloud was terrified that Sephiroth just might do the unthinkable… and an euphoric pain surged through his body, making his spine curl and spread legs rise to quiver in the air like a whore on the brink of orgasm. “Now.....” Cloud heard the voice, warm as velvet, drowning out his own rising strangled whine gaining in pitch in his throat and tears coursing down his cheeks. “My Puppet...My Cloud...” He was caught there, on the brink of ruin and ecstasy, trembling, “...Cum for me.”   
  
Cloud’s body erupted into orgasm unlike anything he had felt before, a pleasure that delved into his every nerve, his every thought, his every cell as his clenching fingers entrapping his agonized testicles spasmed. His boxers were filled with violent bursts of release, spending genetic sludge into tight pulled cotton until it soaked into the fabric and oozed through the torn hole. Mercifully, he pulled his other hand to his lips just in time to bury his knuckles deep into his mouth to stifle his cry of pleasure that degraded into hiccuped sobs from being overwhelmed both mentally and physically. “Good Puppet.” The words drifted with a pleased tone that rocked Cloud’s body in a warming pleasure, a strange JOY, and every throb in his abused balls felt so amazingly good as he felt them clench and twitch with every spurt of his fertile essence. And like that, as if a switch had been flipped, his body was fully back under his control. Cloud rolled over to his side, shaking and clutching himself as he curled into a miserable ball and admitted words he NEVER would even consider in his life.   
  
“I need help.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AUTHOR’S NOTES: The General stuff  
> 1\. DISCLAIMER: Final Fantasy VII, the setting, and the characters therein are property of Square-Enix, created by an amazing team, and inspired a good many people. I do not own any of the characters or setting, but I am playing in the world with a fan’s love. If you haven’t bought the FFVIIR remake, go out and get it! A fantastic adventure. Also, that soundtrack is glorious.
> 
> 2\. CHAPTER QUOTES: What writer doesn’t love using inspirational quotes, and there are the usual ones people go to… songs, Shakespear, famous writers and scientists. I decided to go full challenge and use James T Kirk quotes. Why? For one thing, I wanted a creative challenge. And the other...as campy as the character may be, there are some inspirational yet human quotes. Well, with what I have planned, it works well!
> 
> 3\. TRIGGERS: Every. Word. Is. A. Potential. Trigger. Literature is a den of dangers. If you are a blooming flower not ready to handle a literary storm that can grow hot and thrilling, you might want to either buckle in for a wild ride, or find a milder fic. Any trigger complaints will be forwarded to the HR department of ACME Writers LLC as trigger complaints are above my paygrade. I just work here as a writer.
> 
> 4\. LEVELS OF SPICE: So people have an idea what to expect, I have levels of intensity, or ‘spicy’ as I call it. Starting with Mild, Medium, Hot… and going from there, the reader can have an idea what to expect without me giving away everything that’s happening in the header note. Check the tags, because they get updated with every chapter.
> 
> 5\. SOMEWHAT AU: Somewhat AU because I add to the lore (what’s fanfiction without crack pairings) and adjust it here and there intentionally, but all in all, it’s the world of the Compilation. But if something seems out of place, it’s intentional, most likely. I’d been into FFVII since the first release. Also, keep the ‘But in Remake it’s...’ badgering to a minimum.
> 
> 6\. HOJO: Here’s what I know some of you are here for (he does have his fans), and I hope you will be in for a surprise. This is a character I intend to represent in a deeper manner, different than the ‘evil cackling mad scientist just because evil and mad’. I like to think of cause and effect, and I do enjoy exploring the grey zones. Hence the title, Phantasma...the reality of what people think and what actually is can both be true. 
> 
> 7\. FEEDBACK: I am always grateful for readers, and any feedback is loved more than you can imagine! This story line is one I have been nursing for a while, tinkered with and discussed with other people, but I want to share it with many people! Speculations are always welcome, and how things struck people. 
> 
> 8\. ARTISTS: Are loved and adored! If this inspires you, you have my blessing. I will make links to any art you share and give love and credits!
> 
> AUTHOR’S NOTES: The Chapter Stuff  
> 1\. NEW CHAPTER: I promised it would get spicy! Setting up the base for a grand adventure, and some mild discomfort for Cloud.
> 
> 2\. PUPPET PLAY: If Sephiroth makes Cloud molest himself to orgasm with his own hands, is it masturbation or rape? Molesterbation? Thoughts on the matter?
> 
> 3\. CLOUD: Poor fellow has it rough. The Jenova Whispers are something I am doing as more than creepy voices... but also like impulses and rabbit hole control loss. Also, addiction mingled with delusion with a twist of PTSD where it is hard to tell if it is his own mind breaking, or Sephiroth is directly affecting him. That is for you to ponder.
> 
> 4\. 00: If you are familiar with this (from RP), no spoilers, please! Sucks to be him. Also, Lucrecia is sweet, but terrifying.
> 
> 5\. DIARY: I aimed to make the entry from the book look like observational notes… though there would understandably be measurements, boring doodles (well, maybe these might not be so boring) and other things, but let’s be fair, who wants to read a fan fiction research paper? I got some theories and observational bits in there, and a few humorous tidbits as well. In the end, there’s a reason for everything. More diary entries to come. I actually have a spreadsheet for each and every one of them.


	3. Fear of The Unknown

**Chapter 3: Fear of The Unknown**

  
_“You know the greatest danger facing us is ourselves, and irrational fear of the unknown. There is no such thing as the unknown.  
Only things temporarily hidden, temporarily not understood.”  
\- James T. Kirk _ _  
(Star Trek TOS:The Corbomite Maneuver)_

***  
 _Generic All Purpose Trigger Warning_ . _Check the tags._  
 _ Chapter Level: Mild  
_ _***_

  
“You look like shit.” Reno helpfully supplied, though, the tone bordered between teasing and an edge of concern.

“I’ll take the job.” Cloud remarked sharply, staring to Rufus who paused in the middle of drinking his coffee over breakfast, and flit a glance to the redhead who paused midchew and back to the haunted blue eyes of a rather grumpy looking hero. The crafty executive expected at least a few days… more likely a week with a tacit agreement and some level of haggling. To see Cloud pounce upon his request this adamantly was surprising. Or… perhaps, things were a little worse for Cloud than what he saw in the church. Cloud was in a race against time and something else… and the tactician CEO knew something the merry band of adventurers (albeit one) either did not know, or turned a blind eye. Cloud’s control was slipping, and they could well have another Sephiroth on their hands in the worst case scenario. In a way, observing Cloud’s decline put some perspective on the fallen General. However, Vincent’s assessment, as a man who wrangled his OWN demons, seemed to hold a solid ground. He was in agreement with Rufus. Cloud was losing his grip more rapidly as of late. Of course, the ShinRa CEO had to play this job off as simply being the selfish asshole that he was to send Cloud on a scavenger hunt rather than trying to help Cloud That would be suspicious.

“Excellent. I will provide you with the information I have and the upfront costs. Perhaps you should rest bef-”  
  
“I’m leaving today. Have it ready by noon, Rufus.” And off Cloud stalked to the door, leaving Rufus to mull with a piece of fruit pierced upon the fork dangling in his hand. Reno began chewing his eggs again, finally, after a moment with a slight scrunch of his nose that was a tell that he was thinking on something in avenues that he probably shouldn't.  
  
“Y’know… yanking one out normally puts someone in a good mood, yo, but geeze, it makes him terrifying…what, Boss?”  
  
“Reno...” The blonde groaned as he covered his eyes with his hand, setting the fork down as he valiantly tried to banish that mental image out of his mind. “...why are you even saying this?”  
  
“My room was next to his.” The unflappable Turk continued, gulping his coffee before raising a sausage to his lips to bite, but paused, caught by the look of mingled annoyance and morbid curiosity he could see as Rufus lowered his hand. “Hey. Bed creaking was what woke me up. He makes sounds like a girl biting a pillow, that’s all I’m gonna say. I mean… it’s not surprising...”  
  
“It’s just the way he looks, and age stagnation has been documented in some of the experiments… it is called a ‘baby face’, Reno… you can’t go making assumptions...” He paused as his PHS beeped, and his gaze dropped to look, then paused, seeing who the message was from, and a wary steely look was settled to the grinning redhead across from him. “Should I even look at this?”  
  
“Eh, just some intel footage from when Cloud and company managed to bust into Don Corneo’s, Boss.”  
  
Rufus settled the cheekily grinning man before him a flat look, and opened the sent image.Those sapphire eyes blinked, then widened, a slight hint of colour brushing the pale cheeks of the refined professional man before he covered his eyes with a groan mingled with a growl, ardently attempting to massage the image out of his retinas with the heel of his palm. “Gaia dammit, Reno...” 

***

Cloud was mercifully lucky that he didn’t know why Rufus suddenly had left the hand off of payment and information to Reno, but the crimson haired Turk was grinning cheekily, and even offered Cloud some suggestions for places to look...and places to VISIT in towns. Some places sounded suspiciously red light district, but he suspected the man was pulling his leg. Riding off into the horizon should have been a freeing exhilarating experience. And it was… for the most part. But he was just so damn SORE after what happened the night before...even with his enhanced healing. Unless Sephiroth thought it would be amusing to somehow, beyond the grave, reduce healing THERE. Regardless, a humming engine between his thighs only made him miserable enough to have a potion soak for the pair at the inn in Junon as he read more of the book. It was still horrifying, but increasingly intriguing, hard to put down. The next day in Cloud did find an interesting location in older Junon, a house with an old woman that remembered a traveling ShinRa researcher who visited. One dug up garden bed later, a sealed case was found, and in it, notes as well as several pictures that left him shaking slightly. Mercifully, replanting the garden for the old woman helped ease his thoughts, something about planting bulbs was soothing. He also heard a rumour, though, at the pub… word of a miraculous country doctor in Nibelheim that was treating people of Geostigma for a while.

Nibelheim. Why the hell was his home town the epicenter of drama for the continent? While he did not relish the thought of going there, Cloud knew that the replaced town would most likely hold answers. Where else better to hide real information than false information? The biggest problem was no one was alive from back then… time, violence, and fire having taken over and the populace was an entirely different one now. The old memories were lost. Which made visiting and prying for newer information easier, with no one knowing him as a former resident. It was winter, a time filled with festive adornments and warm food and merriment. It was a replacement culture, but one that grew and thrived, and even if it wasn’t familiar, the sights of merry lights against the snow covered town brought a soft smile to his lips. He’d left his bike with Cid and took one of his prized chocobo to traverse up the terrain heaped with snow, a forbidding sky above promising to deliver even more. He lead his feathered companion towards the ranch stables on the outskirts of town.

Mercifully, Cloud had no returns of HIM like that night… but the hero was plagued with tickles of urges, most of which he ignored, but they were annoying on the long travels and riding. There were times he would slip his stubborn control and grind himself against that humming body of Fenrir as he rode, as if craving some whispered praise in his mind, but soon he would catch himself and bask in frustration and shame. At least the chocobo calmed him enough not to have the same issues in the saddle. And reading those notes, looking at the pictures that surely should have destroyed his haywire libido in horror, they only seemed to make him tingle and it made the warmth all the more invasive in him. Somehow… he was growing more curious of this 00, feeling a strange familiarity, a want to know. How have they coped? Have they completely broken? What was it like to watch him get tormented and evolve? This wasn’t normal… not healthy in the least. And it was maddening as hell. It HAD to stop. The person Rufus was looking for, then, the doctor. Maybe he could find some help, some relief if what he heard in Junon was right, but he ultimately needed it cured. The books could wait, he needed this issue fixed. Perhaps the person he heard about in Nibelheim could be a lead. Maybe... this WAS the person?   
  
Stepping through the snow, wrapped in warming layers against the cold, for a moment, he watched a couple of kids tumbling by, carrying wrapped baskets in a tradition of food sharing for the festive occasion, and gatherings of people around bonfires singing and toasting each other with mulled drinks. In some odd way, the town felt warmer to him than it had before, strangely more welcoming than the small backwoods town it had been. The times have changed. People have changed. The town he grew up in was very secular, very suspicious and tended towards gossip or badgering, suspicious of outsiders. They feared things they didn’t know or understand. Now, he understood, to some extent, and perhaps the original villagers were right to be suspicious of ShinRa. However, all of these newer people have survived great ordeals, the families and citizens originating from other places to become a new Nibelheim. They originally to replace the locals, to pretend… yet they have kept the local cultures from dying out and even made the traditions greater. This… was a good change to see, and a soft smile touched Cloud’s lips before he pushed open the doors of the Inn. Warmth, noise, and the aroma of food filled his senses, and for a moment, Cloud was overwhelmed until he adjusted, looking to the festively decorated interior filled with many people and earthy hearty food and delightful treats.

“Well, come on in out of the cold, Sonny! Ya'll catch yer death there! How about something to eat and drink to help warm ya up?” A tall strong boned woman came bustling from the counter with a warm smile, wiping her hands on her mottled red apron before settling her hands on her hips. He caught the faint sight battle scarred knuckles, claw marks near her elbows, and she had the muscle of someone who’d wielded a hand to hand weapon once. But now, it was evident she wielded a wooden spoon with the highest authority and respect in this town.

“Maybe later… after I take care of some business. Any rooms here?” He approached within, hefting the chocobo saddle bags on his shoulder that nearly dwarfed the cloaked young man. 

“I think I have a few left, busy time this year! We had a lot of people come for the festival. So, what’s your business?” She laughed lightly, leaning forward.

“Is there a doctor in town? I was told I could find one here...” Her smiling grey eyes locked upon Cloud, studying over him, falling on the tell tale lump of his sword making a tent over his shoulder from under the cloak. “Rough road, I take it?”

“Getting harder as the year passes. It’s pretty exhausting.” Cloud replied slowly, then as if something settled for her, the woman leaned upon her elbows on the bartop. “Well, it’s like this. The Doc’s a good fella, but you just missed his hours. Might just have to wait until tomorrow.”

A sigh escaped Cloud as his shoulders sagged. “What a professional.”

“Oh, we help him keep his hours. Poor man would never get sleep if we pestered him every day and night.” She laughed. “I think he came here so he wouldn’t work himself into a grave at one of the fancy city hospitals.”

This brought a look of surprise to Cloud, and he shifted his hip against the stool beside him with a creak of leather. “Sounds like you like him out here.”

“He’s a little awkward, but he’s great at what he does and happily works in trade. I don’t even think the man has a Gil card!” The inkeep laughed lightly. “He also helps with the Chocobo out here, if it’s something that might need a vet. Doc’s a good man, even if he’s a little funny. We like him here.” She stated, and in a brief moment, warm grey eyes held a hint of steel, but softened.  
  
“He’s good with the ones with mako poisoning and the occasional retired SOLDIER we get… oh… don’t worry.” She gave a soft laugh. “Can’t hide that glow in your eyes! Don't you worry, Sonny. This close to an old reactor, it’s a common problem. Nothing to be ashamed of.” Cloud’s held breath exhaled with a sigh.

“I see. So I guess I’ll have to see him tomorrow.” The bar matron nodded, but then held a thoughtful look, and then shifted a glance to her kitchen where a man’s voice was calling out and a basket was set on the waiting counter that bordered between like a window between one chaos and another.  
  
“So, tell ya what. Maybe you can give me a hand… see how busy I am? My delivery boy’s not back yet, so I won’t be able to get the doc’s dinner to him. Could ya be a honey and drop it off for me?”

It wasn’t until he was trudging through the snow, now ladened with a basket that radiated warmth and wonderful aromas, that he realized that he was put on a delivery practically for free… but as he approached the quaint place that looked more like a house than an office, he realized that the rough rural woman managed to worm him in to see the ‘Doc’ after hours. He still might have to return in the morning, but at this point, any questions answered would help. Mounting the steps of the porch, he shook the snow off under the eaves and peered through the windows blurred by semi sheer curtains to show a waiting room that looked like a pleasant small living room with a comfortable couch and furnishings. Lights were warm and inviting through the cream fabric and a figure moved within like a domestic specter. He knocked upon the door to announce his presence. “Delivery.” 

“Ah! Come in! Put it on the table to the left, please, I will be there in a moment!” The voice was muffled from inside the door. The door was indeed unlocked, and the warmth of a fire in the hearth crackled cheerfully. To the left, near the couch, was a low table with space for the basket, a few magazines and books stacked neatly. The figure stepped forward, wearing a flannel button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up and black jeans, a towel ruffling dark hair as he fished in his pocket to hold up a folded gil note. “Thank you...be careful on your… way…. back...” As the slightly bowed head was raised the physician met the haunting mako blue hues of the hero, and the gil and towel both fell with a flutter to the floor as ice cold metal sang towards the pale throat exposed by the part of the shirt’s collar, and held there, drawing a thin scarlet line as tender flesh was bitten into ever so lightly.

“You. Should. Be DEAD.” Cloud’s words came in brittle furious bites, muscles quivering poised like a dog barely being held at bay from lunging to attack. He was shocked, LIVID. And he wanted to know WHY the hell this man was still breathing, much less in Nibelheim.

“Hello… Cloud Strife.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AUTHOR’S NOTES: The General stuff  
> 1\. DISCLAIMER: Final Fantasy VII, the setting, and the characters therein are property of Square-Enix, created by an amazing team, and inspired a good many people. I do not own any of the characters or setting, but I am playing in the world with a fan’s love. If you haven’t bought the FFVIIR remake, go out and get it! A fantastic adventure. Also, that soundtrack is glorious.
> 
> 2\. CHAPTER QUOTES: What writer doesn’t love using inspirational quotes, and there are the usual ones people go to… songs, Shakespear, famous writers and scientists. I decided to go full challenge and use James T Kirk quotes. Why? For one thing, I wanted a creative challenge. And the other...as campy as the character may be, there are some inspirational yet human quotes. Well, with what I have planned, it works well!
> 
> 3\. TRIGGERS: Every. Word. Is. A. Potential. Trigger. Literature is a den of dangers. If you are a blooming flower not ready to handle a literary storm that can grow hot and thrilling, you might want to either buckle in for a wild ride, or find a milder fic. Any trigger complaints will be forwarded to the HR department of ACME Writers LLC as trigger complaints are above my paygrade. I just work here as a writer.
> 
> 4\. LEVELS OF SPICE: So people have an idea what to expect, I have levels of intensity, or ‘spicy’ as I call it. Starting with Mild, Medium, Hot… and going from there, the reader can have an idea what to expect without me giving away everything that’s happening in the header note. Check the tags, because they get updated with every chapter.
> 
> 5\. SOMEWHAT AU: Somewhat AU because I add to the lore (what’s fanfiction without crack pairings) and adjust it here and there intentionally, but all in all, it’s the world of the Compilation. But if something seems out of place, it’s intentional, most likely. I’d been into FFVII since the first release. Also, keep the ‘But in Remake it’s...’ badgering to a minimum.
> 
> 6\. HOJO: Here’s what I know some of you are here for (he does have his fans), and I hope you will be in for a surprise. This is a character I intend to represent in a deeper manner, different than the ‘evil cackling mad scientist just because evil and mad’. I like to think of cause and effect, and I do enjoy exploring the grey zones. Hence the title, Phantasma...the reality of what people think and what actually is can both be true. 
> 
> 7\. FEEDBACK: I am always grateful for readers, and any feedback is loved more than you can imagine! This story line is one I have been nursing for a while, tinkered with and discussed with other people, but I want to share it with many people! Speculations are always welcome, and how things struck people. 
> 
> 8\. ARTISTS: Are loved and adored! If this inspires you, you have my blessing. I will make links to any art you share and give love and credits!
> 
> AUTHOR’S NOTES: The Chapter Stuff  
> 1\. NEW CHAPTER: Cloud begins his quest! Hunting for answers, and he finds some he did not expect... or want. At first.
> 
> 2\. RENO: You didn't think I wouldn't have his sass in there, would you?
> 
> 3\. CLOUD: The more he learns, the more he's tempted. Also, I always wondered how terrible riding on his motorcycle would be while sore.
> 
> 4\. NIBELHEIM: How could I resist comparing the contrast between old, and new? With his mother gone, and Tifa elsewhere, his ties to the place it once was were pretty much gone... in a way, the new one welcomed him more than the old one did as a resident. Also, it DOES seem to be the epicenter for FFVII's drama.
> 
> 5\. DOC: Surprise! Will he survive the next chapter? If he survived thus far... more than likely. Will this help Cloud, or drive him further to the edge?


	4. Old Wounds

**Chapter 4: Old Wounds**   
  


_“As a doctor, you of all people should be aware of the dangers of reopening old wounds.”  
\- James T. Kirk  
(Star Trek II: Wrath of Khan) _

***

 _Generic All Purpose Trigger Warning_ . _Check the tags._  
 **_Chapter Level: Mild_ **

_***_

“Hello… Cloud Strife.” That man spoke, a chillingly familiar voice that both drove Cloud’s skin chill and blood racing until it pounded in his ears. “Is that Vera’s pot pie I smell? Surely you would afford a man a warm last meal before you murder him…” As that blade was edged forward to lightly press against the Adam’s apple that danced, said nightmare from Cloud’s past held silent, still.

“Hojo...” Cloud growled… but as he glared, his certainty wavered slightly. Wait. It was Hojo… he KNEW it was… but this man was decidedly younger. A haggard thirties? Possibly early forties? And considerably less ghoulish than the man that drove him to the brink of madness and he stumbled in the rest of the way thanks to Sephiroth. THIS man took his emotions and mind on a roller coaster. But he was so human looking in that moment. At first… he wondered if this may have been an unknown offspring, but that recognition and shock when they first locked eyes was unmistakable. Eyes that were unveiled by tinted glasses, as green as Sephiroth’s and bearing that tell tale glow of mako exposure. “...or… a clone?”

“The original, rest assured.” Hojo spoke slowly, carefully as the sword was lowered enough to permit him to speak, but as Cloud watched, the bleeding from the cut tapered off swiftly, and the wound was becoming a sealing scar. “What you killed on the Mako Cannon was the clone...” Cloud groaned because… yes… THAT made sense for the slippery bastard, but it raised a slew of new questions.

“WHY are you here?”  
  
“Quietly retired.” The scientist spoke calmly.   
  
“Here.”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“Nibelheim.”  
  
“Of course.”  
  
“Where EVERYTHING began.”  
  
“Well, to be fair, no one would think to look for me here.” Fair enough, but still infuriatingly frustrating and Cloud’s expression told that eloquently. “If you have your doubts… you may call Reeve…ah... Commissioner Tuesti. Rest assured he has kept a close eye on me.”

Cloud’s rather dubious look to the RETIRED mad scientist who indeed seemed to have settled down in the rural backwoods spoke volumes, and the dark haired man merely held his position absolutely still with hands held up in a non-threatening manner. “Sit there.” Easing the sword back, he pointed to the couch before the PHS was fished out, eyes trained upon the creator of their world’s greatest mayhem. Who seemed to be perfectly content to follow orders, plucking up the dropped towel to drape over his shoulders as he began combing out the long raven hair. It was a marvel the man still had it all at his age. Hell, it was amazing there weren’t any streaks of silver. Silver… green eyes...  
  
Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, the PHS was dialed, and he listened as the sound of Reeve’s voice warmly speaking out over the speaker.  
  
“Cloud! Hello! I’m surprised you left so quickly on your job, you missed the after party-party last night. How is it-”

“Reeve.” The mercenary’s quiet voice cut through the bubbly prattle. “I have someone here you should speak to.”

“Cloud?” Worry curved the name, warming the voice on the phone. 

“Hello, Commissioner, Tuesti.” Professor Hojo finally spoke, smoothing back his hair with the comb to look a tad more like his familiar self, but without a band to hold the long locks back, long bangs fell to tickle those high cheekbones. “It seems Mr. Strife has come to pay me a visit.” A long silence filled the line, and for a moment, the blonde mercenary was damned near ready to put the scientist out of his misery.

“Gaia.” Reeve groaned, the sound muffled as if moaned through his hands over his face. Hojo knew that sound and smirked in amusement. Cloud knew that sound and glared first at Hojo, then to the PHS. That pause stemmed into Reeve trying to offer placating words. “Look, Cloud… there’s a very good reason for this...”

“Better than the reason why you gave the key to the Temple of the Ancients to the Turks?” At this time, Hojo was poking into the basket with deft long fingered hands, apparently well used to awkward and potentially dangerous situations and genuinely curious about the collection of food items.

“Better.” Reeve’s voice did hold a flinch. That barb had dug in a bit deep, but then the WRO leader sighed, speaking to Cloud in a soothing tone made more calming by the gentle timber of his voice. “Now, listen, don’t kill him. We need him… because he is the only person left alive that knows how to manage the condition you and the other surviving SOLDIERs have had. He’s also rendering medical aid and saved a good many lives with his treatment of Geostigma...”

“People died, Reeve. People suffered. He did horrible things to people. He did horrible things to ME!” There was a pause in the spelunking in the basket as those sharp green eyes raised to Cloud, and the man looked for all the world like a fox observing a wolf, unsure if it would pounce or not.

“I know, Gaia, I KNOW, Cloud. But there is a hell of a lot more behind this than you realize.”

“Deepground… he was there...”

“My clone was there. I was here tending to the survivors of their raid.” The domesticated scientist stated calmly, and slowly, the blonde turned to settle disbelieving eyes to the man upon the couch that was a humanized version of the demon he once feared and hated. He had VERY conflicting emotions in that moment.  
  
“VINCENT was here.”

“Yes, that would have been regrettable to have met him then, but he was a bit too busy to notice, and I kept far from the main battles.”  
  
The tip of the sword settled upon the floor with a low thunk as Cloud tried to reconcile with what was being revealed, what he knew, what he thought he knew, and the brewing of one hell of a headache beginning.

“Cloud… he has been extremely helpful to us… he enabled Shelke to survive without the Deepground suits...”

“Reeve, Rufus sent me here to find your secret doctor. Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t hang up on you and call him?”

“While the ringing in your ears, discombobulation, and headaches before the loudest of the Jenova Whispers come are quite awful… I do believe the softer ones are far worse, when you are uncertain if it is the Whispers… or your own thoughts. Sometimes… those you are not aware of until after you have acted on them. Those are the same ones that tease you with your weaknesses, offering what you desperately wish for or seek and turn your own body against you.”

Cloud’s throat tightened as Hojo spoke from the couch with those long fingered hands settled in full view over the basket top lid, though there was a subtle fidget of slender fingers that betrayed a sliver of unease under the Professor’s calm practical tone. Looking slowly to the scientist, Cloud simply stared back, and for a long moment, it was a surreal, almost primal moment like two beasts appraising each other to determine if they were safe, foe, predator, or prey. Finally, the mercenary replaced his sword back into place. ”It isn’t good, but it’s a reason. So… you’re saying you can cure the Jenova Whispers?” 

“Cure? No. However, I can silence them, and enable you to have more autonomy against them.” And that was the trap. Cloud couldn’t kill him, because he might kill off the only means of fixing himself… and as his gaze drifted to the basket, he realized… it would negatively impact the town. Cloud’s shoulders sagged.

“Fine. Fine. You win. Reeve. I won’t kill him, and I won’t tell Rufus… yet. I’m going to stick around, and I’m going to ask questions of my own, and IF he is as useful as you say he is, Reeve, and if he isn’t a threat… I’ll leave it to YOU to tell Rufus.”

“Thank you, Cloud!” The relief that came from the commissioner’s voice over the phone made Cloud grit his teeth, because, damnit, this was all wrong. This was the worst of the bad guys, not some country doctor he was sparing! But… a part of his mind reminded him, his childhood friend married a hitman who was their enemy at one point. This was all a tangled mess. Hanging up his PHS with a click, he finally dropped his saddle bags that still hung off his shoulder with a thud upon the floor, leaning his sword against the wall nearby and dropped to sit into a chair that was soul suckingly comfortable.  
  
“This is fucked up.” He groaned with hands rubbing over his face, growling low words. “YOU’RE fucked up.”

“It comes with the occupation.” Hojo remarked calmly, and he rifled around in the basket to withdraw something. Cloud’s head was pounding, throbbing, and for a moment, he thought he might be violently ill as his stomach churned from stress. But then, a spiced fruity warmth greeted his nose, and he dropped his hands to look. A thermos cap cup of some hot mulled drink, held by a hand. Of the mad scientist standing with a poker face perfect calm. “Now we have established that everything in the vicinity is ‘fucked up’... here. Mulled Nibel plum cider. Before your suspicions rise… it was from the food you delivered.” The thermos mug was settled into Cloud’s hands, and he rose with a rustled sigh of denim and flannel. “I am merely retrieving dishes and utensils from the kitchen. Follow me if you wish, but rest assured, my only intent is to enjoy the food before it goes cold.” And thus, he picked up the basket to carry past the inner doorway of the waiting/living room, past the offshoot hall, and into a wholly humble room that was a country kitchen.

Cloud was wary, sipping the hot brew, but as it ran down his insides, warming his empty belly, suddenly food sounded EXCEEDINGLY good. Rising, he followed the man in a soft thud of booted feet, sipping the sweet spiced hot beverage with a wary stare, and… it was the strangest scene for him to behold when he arrived. Because it was so normal. HOJO was normal. In a way, it was relieving, but in another, it was infuriating because the Professor of ShinRa should have been the twitchy cackling off kilter ghoul of a man in a swooping white lab coat that preyed on people and experimented out of a sadistic glee, not some retired remote doctor in rural clothing hunting down mismatched dishes in an absolutely normal looking kitchen in a quaint home business. The people here LIKED this crackpot, and dammit, even Reeve was able to talk to him like a regular person.

“I hate you for everything you’ve done.” Cloud remarked icily.

“Understandable.” Two bowls of unrelated design were set upon the counter top under Cloud’s watchful eye.

“I hate you for what you did to Zack. To Aerith.”

“Understandable.”

“I hate you for what you did to me.”

“Understandable.” The hot heaping pot pie was being spooned from the crock into the two bowls, the enticing smell veritably making Cloud’s mouth water, but the reasoning of the divvying of the portions was what was baffling, and he stared at the bowl of food held in offering as if he had never seen such an object before. “But irregardless, you need to eat to prevent your metabolism from putting you into an aggressive mode. And if you are to be watching over me for Reeve… then I will ensure you are at optimal performance.”

Cloud paused. The man was painfully pragmatic, but he was slipping what seemed to be an act of generosity into some practical action. In a way, it made it easier for Cloud to accept the bowl, and to dig into the food that tasted and felt positively heavenly, first one bite cautiously taken followed by another, and another, Hojo himself standing casually by the counter to eat with a relish that could almost be described as peaceful.

“Why do you look so… different...” Cloud finally had to ask.  
  
“Flannel and denim are better suited to the climate than office attire. That, and I dislike neckties. An impractical accessory that is determined to dip itself into anything you interact with...”  
  
“Your face. Why do you look younger now. I know you should be older than...this.” Absently reaching up to stroke his cheeks, the scientist bore a long thoughtful look before he replied in a soft low tone, seeming to focus intently in spooning up another bite of food while avoiding Cloud’s eyes.

“In my line of work, I have had some exposure to certain substances.” He gave a slight wave to his mako tinted eyes. “Burning the midnight oil too often can have the occasional accident, of course as well. There have been side effects. I had a side effect similar to Shelke’s. To mask the more concerning and noticeable ones, I endeavored to frighten people away with theatrics and rumours to keep them a more comfortable distance, and I utilized a facial alteration disguise methodology I picked up from a former Turk named Veld...”

“...facial alteration disguise methodology?”

“Make up.”

Cloud choked on a bit of carrot, drawing a deep gulp of the mulled cider as the scientist had the nerve to curve his lips into an amused crooked grin.  
  
“You wore MAKE UP to scare people away.”  
  
“Yes, it did work for quite a while. And now, I can enjoy my retirement in the springtime of my prolonged ‘youth’, and rare few would recognize me.”

“You aren’t that young.”

“You wound, me, Mr. Strife.”

“Gaia knows, I’ve tried.” Maybe it was the absurdity. Maybe he finally cracked. Maybe it was the cider. But Cloud broke into a soft laugh, more of a muffled cough behind his hand as he tried to stifle it, but it was there.

The retired scientist looked to the blonde and he plated up the pear cobbler to set down before Cloud with a refill of the spiced hot cider.

“So… what brings you up to this quiet mountain town?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AUTHOR’S NOTES: The General stuff  
> 1\. DISCLAIMER: Final Fantasy VII, the setting, and the characters therein are property of Square-Enix, created by an amazing team, and inspired a good many people. I do not own any of the characters or setting, but I am playing in the world with a fan’s love. If you haven’t bought the FFVIIR remake, go out and get it! A fantastic adventure. Also, that soundtrack is glorious.
> 
> 2\. CHAPTER QUOTES: What writer doesn’t love using inspirational quotes, and there are the usual ones people go to… songs, Shakespear, famous writers and scientists. I decided to go full challenge and use James T Kirk quotes. Why? For one thing, I wanted a creative challenge. And the other...as campy as the character may be, there are some inspirational yet human quotes. Well, with what I have planned, it works well!
> 
> 3\. TRIGGERS: Every. Word. Is. A. Potential. Trigger. Literature is a den of dangers. If you are a blooming flower not ready to handle a literary storm that can grow hot and thrilling, you might want to either buckle in for a wild ride, or find a milder fic. Any trigger complaints will be forwarded to the HR department of ACME Writers LLC as trigger complaints are above my paygrade. I just work here as a writer.
> 
> 4\. LEVELS OF SPICE: So people have an idea what to expect, I have levels of intensity, or ‘spicy’ as I call it. Starting with Mild, Medium, Hot… and going from there, the reader can have an idea what to expect without me giving away everything that’s happening in the header note. Check the tags, because they get updated with every chapter.
> 
> 5\. SOMEWHAT AU: Somewhat AU because I add to the lore (what’s fanfiction without crack pairings) and adjust it here and there intentionally, but all in all, it’s the world of the Compilation. But if something seems out of place, it’s intentional, most likely. I’d been into FFVII since the first release. Also, keep the ‘But in Remake it’s...’ badgering to a minimum.
> 
> 6\. HOJO: Here’s what I know some of you are here for (he does have his fans), and I hope you will be in for a surprise. This is a character I intend to represent in a deeper manner, different than the ‘evil cackling mad scientist just because evil and mad’. I like to think of cause and effect, and I do enjoy exploring the grey zones. Hence the title, Phantasma...the reality of what people think and what actually is can both be true. 
> 
> 7\. FEEDBACK: I am always grateful for readers, and any feedback is loved more than you can imagine! This story line is one I have been nursing for a while, tinkered with and discussed with other people, but I want to share it with many people! Speculations are always welcome, and how things struck people. 
> 
> 8\. ARTISTS: Are loved and adored! If this inspires you, you have my blessing. I will make links to any art you share and give love and credits!
> 
> AUTHOR’S NOTES: The Chapter Stuff  
> 1\. NEW CHAPTER: Cloud has to deal with a monster of his past. And what was truly more unsettling than a raving monster, is a retired and domesticated one. Still, an edge of danger still lurks.
> 
> 2\. HOJO: I like to try to think of him as a person and ask the questions of ‘Why’ and ‘How’. I also see him as more stable the further he is from Jenova and the high stress environment he was in. He is not wholly cured… old habits could be slipped into. Needless to say, though, his mind is a bit off kilter in how he is perfectly comfortable with facing Cloud’s ire and then turning around and telling him to eat. Man is not the most socially functioning thing in the world, but then again, neither is Cloud. I also see him as cranking the ‘ghoulish terror’ act to eleven in order to be left alone and so people would not pry too far. But, I figured, with his exposure to what he was constantly working with, some manner of side effects would show. And I had long been a fan of him wearing tinted glasses before FFVIIR because of light sensitivity as a side effect, any anyone who has it knows that office lights are sheer murder on the eyes.
> 
> 3\. CLOUD: He has some inner demons of his own to wrestle, especially in trying to fight the urge in strangling this demon from his past.
> 
> 4\. THE MAD SCIENTIST’S LAIR: Is a quaint cabin on the outskirts of town.
> 
> 5\. REEVE: It wasn’t the first time he tried to help people by protecting fugitives on the sly. He knows Hojo better than anyone in Avalanche, so he knows the useful worth of the man compared to the dangers. He also knows that essentially keeping him secured in a remote mountain town is probably the safest thing for everyone involved. I see the two still talking to each other as colleagues, not much changing from their old days save for Hojo being a more bearable person now he is in a more coherent and mentally balanced state.


	5. To Be Human Is To Be Complex

**Chapter 5: To Be Human Is To Be Complex**   
  


_“Those pressures are everywhere -- in everyone, urging him to what you call "savagery." The private hells -- the inner needs and mysteries -- the beast instinct. As human beings, that is the way it is. To be human is to be complex. You can't avoid a little ugliness -- from within -- and from without.”  
\- James T. Kirk  
(Star Trek TOS: Requiem For Methuselah) _

***

 _Generic All Purpose Trigger Warning_ . _Check the tags._  
 _Chapter Level:_ **_ Mild _ **

_***_

“…And that was when I realized YOU were here. You scared the crap out of me at first, Hojo… and then I took a good look and thought you were your own son… or clone, or something… but now I find out that the ‘you’ that gave me nightmares was a man in makeup. Everyone was terrified of a man in makeup.”

“Understandable.” Hojo replied, pouring a bit of Dumbapple brandy into the cup as they sat side by side before the fire. They had long run out of Cider (Cloud long since outpaced Hojo) and Cloud was considerably more relaxed than he had been in a long time. He gave up trying to reconcile that the mad beast he’d loathed was now more considerably domesticated. And coherent. Well, more or less, considering the alcohol.

“Why is everything ‘understandable’ with you?” Cloud groused out in annoyance, that answer having popped up yet again. It was beginning to piss him off. 

“Because if I did not try to understand, I would learn nothing. ‘Ignorance is a fool’s vice.’” The scientist quoted in a scholarly tone as if from some sage ancient text.

“Get that from some book of a brilliant writer?”

“Fortune cookie.” The scientist replied amiably as he nudged the log on the fire with the poker, politely pretending he did not hear the stifled giggles Cloud was poorly concealing behind his hand. It was… too absurd. Too human. And Cloud was warm and pleasantly buzzed to the point that he found it amusing.

“I hate you… really I do...” Cloud said in between the slight hiccuped sounds.

“Und-”

“But I can’t hate you right now. And that’s frustrating.”

This brought a pause from the older man, and he looked to the golden haired mercenary sitting beside him. He had given this boy hell. Of course, the boy returned it, but Hojo knew he still owed Cloud his pound of flesh. He sipped the potent drink as he watched the flames dance in a nymph-like caper across the logs. “You have every right to hate me. I would not have blamed you if you had proceeded to decapitate me earlier.”

“I still don’t understand why you aren’t mad at me, you crazy old freak...”

“Why would I be upset?”

“I slipped free… and beat your prized project multiple times.”

“Would you be happy if I was raving and lashing out?”

“It would make it easier for me.” Cloud admitted. “Especially if you hated me as much as I hated you.”

“Perhaps, dear boy, but it would benefit neither of us. I may be a monster… but I am a practical one. Solutions generally produce a better end result that justified rage. Some solutions are unpleasant, but being able to adapt is what makes it manageable.”

“Doesn’t anything get a rise out of you?” Cloud groused with a shrewd long look to the man that baffled the hell out of him.

“Oh, there are some things, but I think it would be better for the both of us to avoid those.” Hojo remarked with a cheeky grin that crinkled the edges of those bright green eyes in a mirth that matched his smile.

“What about Subject 00?”

The grin faltered, witchfire green eyes turning to look to the young man beside him. For once, during this ‘visit’ Cloud could see the scientist openly guarded, cautious. 

“How do you know about that?”

“I heard some things. The books I mentioned that Rufus and Reeve are looking for and I was sent out to find.” Cloud basked in this moment, it was odd… like a small taste of power he felt he held over the other man because HERE was something that made Hojo nervous. Maybe it was the alcohol talking, but he wanted to continue pushing this, watch the other man squirm with his nervous secrets.

“From what I read, you really gave him hell.”

“He was a willing participant and was well aware there would be some discomfort involved...”

“So you admit 00 is a ‘he’.”

A breath was sucked in sharply by the raven haired man as those venom green eyes narrowed in a sharp stare to the blonde he wasn’t sure was drunk and winning the lottery in guesswork and button pushing, or he was observant even if a little loose tongued and giddy. This could be dangerous.

“He wasn’t in any of the official records, I found out. How do you hide a guy you’ve been experimenting on from even the top brass of ShinRa?” Cloud murmured lowly.

“It is not a matter of how I hid him, it is how he hid himself. Not every test subject is kept locked in tubes and cages, you realize.” Hojo went to drink his brandy, then realized, at some point, he’d downed it. Reaching to the bottle, he began to pour, but Cloud’s next question made his hand tremble slightly, the amber liquid rippling within the bottle.

“When you had him on that table, when you first tested the Mako on that human and collected that ‘data’. What did you really feel?”

Cloud leaned in closer, enthralled by the sheer power, the curiosity, the desire to peel away this man’s layers to see what the monster’s been hiding. To find the WHY.

“Fear… excitement… anticipation… when it happened, I thought the Universe had swallowed me up.” Hojo swallowed thickly, genuine unease slipping past his professional calm front. “Mr. Strife… I do not think...”

Closer Cloud leaned in, feeling he was so damned close to the answer, the root of everything, and an answer to his own haunting unsettling reactions to the readings and photos, and Hojo, the demon of the Research Department leaned back. This play of power over a man he had once been helpless to was intoxicating.

“When you introduced the Jenova cells into 00...” Yes, this… he wanted to know, to hear the words, to experience more than what he could see in the photos, read in the sterile if unsettling notes. “And he was squirming on that table as they took over his body and his mind...” Those green eyes were fixated, glowing brighter, widening. Cloud watched the flutter of the pupils, the way the man’s breath quickened, and a raw delight raced through his own alcohol warmed body as he saw the terrifying immortal demon of ShinRa’s science department fracturing and faltering before him. More… it would look so lovely to see that pretty snap. “...as he gradually lost his humanity...how did you fee-”

Suddenly a trembling hand snaked out to cover Cloud’s mouth, those green eyes briefly flitting with catlike pupils before he closed his eyes and swigged that glass of brandy to settle down. “Like you do now.” Gone was the calm, there was a raw ragged almost smokey edge to his voice as Hojo seemed to fight with himself, like a drug addict trying to fight a particularly strong narcotic itch they need to scratch. “Loud whispers… or soft ones? THINK, CLOUD STRIFE.” He snapped the words with crisp intensity, as if he was saying them not merely for the young man who seemed to be caught in a baffled moment, but for himself as well. Those words slapped Cloud back into reality with a dizzying whiplash to make confusion and alarm paint his face.  
  
As the hand was removed, finally, Cloud spoke with an edge of humiliation. “Soft.” Past the muddied warmth of alcohol, it was all rushing back to him. What he said, how he said it… the compulsion. Finally making it to his feet, Hojo staggered to the door and opened it, cringing at the bitter bite of cold as the scientist rested his flushed cheek to the chilled door frame. “Go to the Inn, Mr. Strife… come back tomorrow. The cold walk will help.” Hugging his arms close to his chest, practically looking like he was smuggling small gumdrops under his shirt thanks to the biting chill, he simply looked out into the cold night in every attempt to not look at the blonde mercenary that nearly drove him over the edge. “I will prioritize silencing your whispers, but for now, I need to be alone.”

In a way, it was like a teenager in one of the movies grabbing his things hastily and darting outside when the girl’s father came home as Cloud scrabbled to don his jacket and pick up his belongings, because, damnit, he slipped again, and so smoothly he barely noticed it. Hojo almost didn’t notice it. And the worst part was… Hojo was RIGHT. And what was chilling, was the mercenary realized, those words ‘Like you do now’ bordered on erotic and horrifying in his mind. “Ah… sor-”

“Don’t be sorry, Boy. Just understand the situation.” Hojo replied, not as a peevish snap, but as a weary groan from where he was standing in the doorway, looking to be a breath away from being blown over by the chill winds and shivering in his thin shirt partially parted at the throat, light gleaming on a gold chain glimpsed near the pale column of his throat. As Cloud passed, he looked to Hojo for a long moment, seeing the man VERY differently. The unstoppable fiend that not even death could hold looked very fragile.  
  
“How do you know about the whispers so well?” Cloud asked, finally as he stood upon the porch.  
  
“Because I hear them, too.” Such were the last words before the door closed firmly and the lock was latched.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AUTHOR’S NOTES: The General stuff  
> 1\. DISCLAIMER: Final Fantasy VII, the setting, and the characters therein are property of Square-Enix, created by an amazing team, and inspired a good many people. I do not own any of the characters or setting, but I am playing in the world with a fan’s love. If you haven’t bought the FFVIIR remake, go out and get it! A fantastic adventure. Also, that soundtrack is glorious.
> 
> 2\. CHAPTER QUOTES: What writer doesn’t love using inspirational quotes, and there are the usual ones people go to… songs, Shakespear, famous writers and scientists. I decided to go full challenge and use James T Kirk quotes. Why? For one thing, I wanted a creative challenge. And the other...as campy as the character may be, there are some inspirational yet human quotes. Well, with what I have planned, it works well!
> 
> 3\. TRIGGERS: Every. Word. Is. A. Potential. Trigger. Literature is a den of dangers. If you are a blooming flower not ready to handle a literary storm that can grow hot and thrilling, you might want to either buckle in for a wild ride, or find a milder fic. Any trigger complaints will be forwarded to the HR department of ACME Writers LLC as trigger complaints are above my paygrade. I just work here as a writer.
> 
> 4\. LEVELS OF SPICE: So people have an idea what to expect, I have levels of intensity, or ‘spicy’ as I call it. Starting with Mild, Medium, Hot… and going from there, the reader can have an idea what to expect without me giving away everything that’s happening in the header note. Check the tags, because they get updated with every chapter.
> 
> 5\. SOMEWHAT AU: Somewhat AU because I add to the lore (what’s fanfiction without crack pairings) and adjust it here and there intentionally, but all in all, it’s the world of the Compilation. But if something seems out of place, it’s intentional, most likely. I’d been into FFVII since the first release. Also, keep the ‘But in Remake it’s...’ badgering to a minimum.
> 
> 6\. HOJO: Here’s what I know some of you are here for (he does have his fans), and I hope you will be in for a surprise. This is a character I intend to represent in a deeper manner, different than the ‘evil cackling mad scientist just because evil and mad’. I like to think of cause and effect, and I do enjoy exploring the grey zones. Hence the title, Phantasma...the reality of what people think and what actually is can both be true. 
> 
> 7\. FEEDBACK: I am always grateful for readers, and any feedback is loved more than you can imagine! This story line is one I have been nursing for a while, tinkered with and discussed with other people, but I want to share it with many people! Speculations are always welcome, and how things struck people. 
> 
> 8\. ARTISTS: Are loved and adored! If this inspires you, you have my blessing. I will make links to any art you share and give love and credits!
> 
> AUTHOR’S NOTES: The Chapter Stuff  
> 1\. NEW CHAPTER: Yeah, a conversational chapter with banter, but there are some important things here. Especially with how gradually Cloud slips to the subtle impulses. It’s a shortie chapter, too. The next one, which will follow shortly, is spicier and longer!
> 
> 2\. HOJO: Not the best drinker. Even trying to go light on the alcohol, he had a small slip of his own. He made sure he drank a hell of a lot less than Cloud.
> 
> 3\. CLOUD: He loosens up a bit with alcohol. In a way, booze is the social lubricant, but it also greases the way for little revelations to slip.
> 
> 4\. SLIPPERY SLOPE: For a person without control, Cloud has a desperate inner need for it. The alcohol only brings this out, and little by little, there is a gradual obsession, almost and addiction to turn the tables and make others squirm or desperate. Not something normal for him, it is a subtle impulse.


	6. Desperation

**Chapter 6: Desperation**  
  


_“Desperation is a highly emotional state of mind.”  
\- James T. Kirk  
(Star Trek TOS: Galileo Seven) _

***

 _Generic All Purpose Trigger Warning_ . _Check the tags._  
_**Chapter Level: SPICY! Shame on you Cloud. Really**. _

_***_

The bed creaked slightly, the lights were off except for a small battery operated camp lamp, but in Cloud’s mind, there was a world unfolding in his imagination. It was horrible, shameful. It began with him reading hungrily through the book, bringing 00 to life in his mind as he sought some deeper secret, some hidden meaning. Trying to find a connection, a clue. Every detail, he realized, made him so similar. What that documented man experienced, though at different times, different places, it was the first person he could truly make a connection to from their shared experience. And 00 survived it all, even apparently remained functioning if what Hojo said was right. 

But then… then, his fall truly accelerated once he drew out those photos, and his entire body tingled, blood heating, and for a moment, he simply stared to several images cataloging a man who’s head was hidden from the photos either through camera angles or cloths draped over his head. At one point a black cloth sack was used to conceal the person’s face. But his body was sleek, lean… sturdy toned bones and lean muscle forming a supple frame sculpted of alabaster into artistic arches and twists of torment… or bound in curious positions, each more degrading than the last. It was like Cloud was there… above him, PERFORMING these very acts displayed on 00.

And it made his libido surge to an aching level. Trailing his hand down towards the tent straining his boxers, he perused each image like a starved man at a buffet, each more enthralling until he found the perfect one. Bound bent over the table the man partially stood, pale legs parted and backside presented into the air with a stark dark tattoo nestled as a tramp stamp on the pale flesh above it: 00. Underneath the numbers, a bar code. No longer a person… an animal. A thing. But a thing that suffered so beautifully. His legs were bound wide by the table legs, and his hairless sac hung heavy and proud… as smooth as Cloud’s own but noticeably larger, and maybe he had some envy there. Especially with that long cock ensnared into a glass suctioning tube that seemed to be some manner of milking device.  
  
Prime in the display, though, was his hole, spread wide by a speculum cranked to full extent to show off his rosy insides, and a pointer stick inserted into the fleshy cavern spread wide (wide enough for Cloud to fit his hand in) to show off the prostate… a thick large gland that certainly was a bit bigger than a regular human’s, if the notes nestled with the photos were accurate. It simply made an obscene lump pointed out with a scientific curiosity that mingled with cruelty. It made Cloud’s blood surge.

“Oh, Gaia…” He murmured, settling the picture on the bed and laying on his belly, imagining how it would look to have that body there, to have 00 under him, and the second his eyes closed, it was so real. His vivid imagination supplied him with the gasps and groans of the man wearing a black cloth sack hood, those hefty balls swaying and swinging as he squirmed and arched. Lifting his hips and tugging his shorts down to free his cock, Cloud rested on his knees as he made a circle of his finger and thumb to try to emulate the wide spread, and he dipped his cock in. “Hnnngh… so wide… I wouldn’t be able to feel anything...” Opening his eyes, he stared greedily into the picture, hips rolling as he bit his lower lip, tucking his balls in through the ring of his fingers and making little wriggles of his hips as he was trying to imagine himself trying to fuck that spread open passage.  
  
He could almost see the man flinching and squirming with every poke and prod in there, almost hear the muffled desperate sounds, the huffed ragged breaths, and he savoured that feeling of power. Power over the man, power over 00, and it was exquisite, like an addictive drug. Make him beg. A part of him wanted to hear that. Cloud wanted to FIND this man, render him bent and used for exploration, to try to break that body that seemed to wonderfully adapt, or bend it and shape it to new extremes. He imagined himself pulling that device out of that hole, watching the wrecked quivering muscles twitching helplessly on air before he pressed all of his fingers within. He could almost imagine that throbbing snug heat, and how it spasmed and clenched as he pressed his cock between his tight squeezed fingers, his own generous eagerly oozing pre helping his length between his calloused digits. His manhood was… shall it be said, petite. Something he was teased over as a trooper, and avoided the other males’ gaze in bathrooms. But it made such a tight slip much easier.  
  
Brilliantly blazing blue eyes tinged with venom green hungrily followed that line from the suctioning tube on the man’s heavy hanging length, the length of tubing clear and it was evident creamy essence was en route to… a holding tank. Where easily there was two cups worth of virile seed harvested, and that in itself was shocking… but more so… that as he fucked into his fist in the man in his mind, he imagined his knuckles would grind and abuse that prostate to have him spilling his seed again and again, louder cries breaking into gasped softer sounds as he imagined those soft walls quivering and clenching around him.

Cloud bucked into his hand, wrapped in the glory of his delusion as he stared greedily into the old photo, whispering soft words.“...yes...fuck...harder… squeeze me… cum...Gaia… yes...” And the bed squeaked softly, the sound in his ears like soft mewled whimpers, begs that increased as his speed increased. “If you can find him, my Child. He will be yours.” As the woman’s words cooed against his ears, seared through his mind and lit his racing blood ablaze, the blonde came, with a quavered gasping silent cry, eyes wide as he glazed his fingers entirely, every nerve alight. “Now… clean your mess...” Cooed the voice as Cloud slumped to his side, licking his generous genetic donation from his fingers like a kitten with a drunken delirious contentment.

The next morning, however, Cloud was mortified and alarmed. “This… is getting out of hand.” He looked down to said hand. He shuddered as he felt a thrill of warmth and he shook his head, nipping THAT in the bud as he rose to shower. By the time he was at Hojo’s door, Cloud was actually glad to see the old retired demon.

“You said you hear them too, how do you make them stop?” Cloud immediately pounced with the question as the bleary eyed man squinted at him, looking exhausted. Sure, it was an ungodly hour. Sure, maybe Cloud bolted out of there at first waking after cleaning up. Sure, Hojo may have had a rough night… but, damnit, so did he, and Cloud needed some answers. The Wutian blooded scientist, though… actually looked pleasant. Well, appealing would be the better word, but Cloud would sooner drive Fenrir off a cliff than use THAT term. The man simply somehow managed a ‘morning after’ appearance that was a far cry better to look at than his old usual scruffy demon look. Looking younger, his body was pleasant, if somewhat lean, the face slack from expression except tiredness sculpted with a striking blend of angles and sharp features that made him look like a fox, especially with those sharp mako lit green eyes half lidded in a languid haze. Long dark hair fell over his shoulders and cheeks, and with the loose flannel sleep shirt open, he could see a golden chain and what seemed to be a ring. THAT raised more questions.  
  
Hojo hugged himself as he leaned against the door frame, the sleepy scientist yawned behind his hands as he finally slipped inside, rubbing his eyes while he shuffled to the kitchen in a pair of grey sleep pants that looked like they were threatening to abandon his hips in a coup. Cloud remembered the horror and confusion the party felt when they found Hojo at Costa Del Sol with the trio of sexy beach bunnies, and he wondered if THEY knew something the party didn’t. The old man was so Gaia damned weird.

“Coffee first. Questions later.” Said old man groused, and for a moment, it made the scientist seem entirely human. Entering and leaning against the kitchen doorway, Cloud watched the man perform such a mundane task of making a pot of that dark vital brew. It was only after two mugs were poured, Hojo prepared his own, he then sank to sit at the table with a stifled yawn. “Now.. what was it… Whispers?”

“How do you make them stop.” Cloud finally asked, settling to sit across from the other man who seemed to be trying to wake up. 

“It is less of a remedy and more of an adjustment of lifestyle with a necessary injection regiment… don’t give me that look, boy. If I have to take it, you have to take it.”

“You… take an injection regiment.” Cloud began, looking rather dubious.

“With the amount of exposure and time I have spent with Jenova, it became a necessity to maintain my own mind. Every time I let it slide, I was a far less pleasant person. It does not solve the entirety of the issues, but enough to make a difference… what are you looking petulant about?”

“So you are saying Jenova is behind everything you did?” Cloud remarked flatly.

“Do not be so naive, boy. I did what I did. My decisions have been better at times, and they have been worse at times. They were still implemented by me, in the end. Your delusions that a line between ‘good’ and ‘evil’ is concrete and immutable however, are faulty. Human beings and reality are not like that. Good people can do terrible things, and terrible people can do good things.”

“That’s a crock of chocobo crap, Hojo. What you did was inhuman. You destroyed people’s lives.”

“Really. Exactly how many people were murdered, how many people harmed, how many homes and businesses destroyed with your little band’s bombing missions of the reactors? Did you trade their lives for some gleaming glorious vision to save the Planet at the expense of civilians… or were you simply there to earn a fistful of gil? How many children were orphaned because you killed their fathers or mothers in trooper or guard uniforms that you slaughtered by the droves in your heroic quests?” He paused, then looked up from sipping his coffee, hearing the hard thunk of Cloud’s mug upon the counter top. Anger burned in those blue eyes… as well as pain. Regret. Loathing. Because this man that embodied everything he felt was evil pinpointed the very things Cloud struggled over and the so called therapists Reeve offered couldn’t come near approaching without him trying to explain it to him. ‘It wasn’t your fault’, they would say, or ‘you didn’t know’. But Hojo knew. He knew too damned well, and that was both frustrating and relieving. SOMEONE understood. It just happened to be THIS bastard.

“You may hate me all you wish, but it will not prevent me from understanding you.” Hojo replied amiably as he sipped his coffee. 

“How can you be this… calm. Doesn’t anything you did bother you?” The older man in the homely kitchen bore a thoughtful look for a long moment, before he replied finally.  
  
“My threshold for what I can endure may surprise you, Mr Strife. But it does not mean I do not FEEL. Am I dismayed by some of the things I have done? Yes. Do I regret what I did to you… no. Because, who else would have stopped Sephiroth?”

The mercenary glared at the scientist, eyes glistening and glowing brilliantly from the welling of emotions threatening to tear him apart. He wanted to shake the man, strike him. Throw him off the top of Mount Nibel. He wanted to dig his hands into the man’s chest to find out if he even had a beating heart. Some part wanted to just grasp one of those slender hands in desperation. Hands that had long fingers curled around the mug as if to privately find comfort in the heated liquid within. He settled on stepping to the table and sinking to sit in a rustle of clothing, staring to this monster, this demon telling him the brutal truth to his face. The worst part of it all, was the look of genuine loss on the older man at the mention of Sephiroth.

“The one thing I don’t get… you called me a failed experiment to my face… several times, until that day I successfully broke against Sephiroth’s control.”

“Ah, that. You see… yes, I categorized you as a failed clone experiment, however, the ‘me’ you saw in the Crater… was not me. Nor the other times you saw ‘me’ after Costa Del Sol, really. That was the clone of myself I left behind as I ‘retired’. It was a rather unstable copy, more Jenova mutation than a duplicate.” He paused. “Though, that truly was me in Costa Del Sol.” He tapped his finger against the edge of the coffee mug. “And before you ask ‘why’, I estimated faking my own death would be the best means to keep out of the ensuing chaos. However, it was the truth when even my clone admits that you were successful. Of course, I could not let you know that. You needed to act on your own. I made you what you were as a… failsafe. To fight fire with fire, so to speak when Sephiroth would return. And I knew he would. Albeit, I was not in the right side of my mind at the time, but I had enough in me to convince Jenova I was making a toy for Sephiroth and not a human weapon to counter him.” His lips quirked into a wry smirk. “The greatest con of our era, and no one would ever know… except for you.”

Cloud sat there, blinking slowly and staring to the man who managed to flipflop what he understood but never seemed to make sense… into something that DID connect several dots, but was bizarrely disturbing because it made the monster sipping coffee before him less of the two dimensional terror everyone knew him as. That, and he had struggles of his own.

“Why.” The blonde’s voice cracked slightly. “Why would you do that? I get why you would use me and Zack, but why would you want to stop Sephiroth. I thought you were thrilled with what he became?”

“Because, the ‘god’ that tried to destroy the Planet, was not Sephiroth. He was not the boy I knew all those years. Well, yes, admittedly, I was thrilled to see his power grow. I will not deny my pride. But at the expense of losing who he was...” The retired scientist shook his head as he brushed long dark bangs out of his face to tuck behind an ear, those sharp features drawing a look of grim focus. “I am certain you have a ‘failsafe’ of your own that you have arranged with one of your companions to stop you if you lost control. Valentine, I would presume, being the most likely to take action without the hesitation of remorse. Even the current era of Turks would hesitate. He, however, would end even the most innocent of lives if it meant ending something he perceived as irredeemable. Of course, that won’t be necessary if I am tending to you.”

Haunted blue hues looked up to the domesticated science demon of ShinRa, meet eyes of an equally unsettling mako green. Finally, Cloud spoke, resigning himself to following this offer of care. If things went pear shaped, he could always throw the man off of Mt. Nibel. It might not kill the eccentric bastard, but it would be therapeutic for Cloud. “What is the first step?”  
  
Hojo held up one finger. “Maintain a diary. As silly as it sounds, it will become essential for you to see the patterns and your weaknesses. I have spare notebooks I can provide for you. You will be able to see where you begin to slip, potential triggers, and how to recognize the Jenova Whispers. As I said, the soft Whispers are the worse of the two types because those are the ones that you do not realise are speaking. They can sound more like… impulses. They prey upon your mindset to slide in their control until your own grasp has completely slipped. The best way to find those, is to recognize if you are finding some manner of obsession or craving for something. A melody, a particular food, watching a particular animal… no matter how mundane, you must document it.”

A diary. It was… well, surprisingly logical. And rational. Even something that SOLDIER rehab therapist Reeve tried to have him see recommended. It was something often utilized in breaking addictions… though, in some way, Cloud had to surmise his situation was. And unlike that therapist, Hojo knew it. Hence, every detail to be documented. But with the mention of obsession, Cloud tensed in his seat, muscles twitching taut as his heart skittered into a quicker rate. The memory of the night before barrelled hard into him and the tingling warmth racing through his blood warred with the cold pit of shame and horror in his belly. “Uhm… you don’t want to look at that diary… do you?”

“It would only help you, but ultimately, it is your own choice, Mr. Strife. Be honest with yourself. Of all people, do you think I am going to judge whatever is twisting in your mind? If anything, I would be able to catch you when you begin to slip as I would recognize the signs. Such as… last night.”

Well… shit. The mercenary clenched and unclenched his hands compulsively, remembering THAT, and he became distinctly uneasy. “I would rather not discuss last night...”

“Did it get better, or worse when you went to the Inn?” The question was asked calmly, as if merely inquiring about the weather.

“I… slipped.” Cloud admitted, plush lips pursed into a soft frown as his cheeks dusted with a slight pink. He could not look up at the scientist.

“Ah? Before you fell asleep, or in a dream?”

“Before. I started reading, and I think I realized got some sort of obsession in that slip. I... didn’t realize, until I was in the middle of it, and then I couldn’t stop. I just wanted… more.” Cloud began explaining, hesitantly. It felt horrible, so WRONG to bare something so personal and frightening to this man. But there was something liberating, relieving in finally telling another soul. Even if he doubted that soul actually HAD a soul. “Gaia, I would never want it, and I still don’t… but it keeps cropping up in my mind.”

“Understandable. You do seem to not notice the soft Whisper very well. We will work on that. What were you obsessing over, and how did you respond… what did you feel compelled to do? Now… no holding back.This information is as necessary for me to assist you as it is for you to be aware.” It was beginning to dawn on Cloud that the once maniacal scientist’s professional manner and casual ease made for a surprisingly good bedside manner without being in the least bit pandering by people awash with pity or righteous empathy. It was a skilled technician solving an issue. Hojo apparently was so smooth and comfortable in this ‘calm troubleshooting mode’, evidently having employed it often in the past. But still… this was Hojo…  
  
This was Hojo. Next to him, how bad could Cloud’s warped imaginings be? And so, courage gathering his gumption in a deep breath, he steadied himself as if about to enter battle, and he waited a moment before replying carefully. 

“I was obsessing over 00. I feel compelled to find him and I...Ijerkedoffimaginingitwasinhim...” Mako green eyes went wide as the scientist choked on his coffee, and for a moment, Cloud thought he accidentally murdered Hojo by drowning him on his own coffee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AUTHOR’S NOTES: The General stuff  
> 1\. DISCLAIMER: Final Fantasy VII, the setting, and the characters therein are property of Square-Enix, created by an amazing team, and inspired a good many people. I do not own any of the characters or setting, but I am playing in the world with a fan’s love. If you haven’t bought the FFVIIR remake, go out and get it! A fantastic adventure. Also, that soundtrack is glorious.
> 
> 2\. CHAPTER QUOTES: What writer doesn’t love using inspirational quotes, and there are the usual ones people go to… songs, Shakespear, famous writers and scientists. I decided to go full challenge and use James T Kirk quotes. Why? For one thing, I wanted a creative challenge. And the other...as campy as the character may be, there are some inspirational yet human quotes. Well, with what I have planned, it works well!
> 
> 3\. TRIGGERS: Every. Word. Is. A. Potential. Trigger. Literature is a den of dangers. If you are a blooming flower not ready to handle a literary storm that can grow hot and thrilling, you might want to either buckle in for a wild ride, or find a milder fic. Any trigger complaints will be forwarded to the HR department of ACME Writers LLC as trigger complaints are above my paygrade. I just work here as a writer.
> 
> 4\. LEVELS OF SPICE: So people have an idea what to expect, I have levels of intensity, or ‘spicy’ as I call it. Starting with Mild, Medium, Hot… and going from there, the reader can have an idea what to expect without me giving away everything that’s happening in the header note. Check the tags, because they get updated with every chapter.
> 
> 5\. SOMEWHAT AU: Somewhat AU because I add to the lore (what’s fanfiction without crack pairings) and adjust it here and there intentionally, but all in all, it’s the world of the Compilation. But if something seems out of place, it’s intentional, most likely. I’d been into FFVII since the first release. Also, keep the ‘But in Remake it’s...’ badgering to a minimum.
> 
> 6\. HOJO: Here’s what I know some of you are here for (he does have his fans), and I hope you will be in for a surprise. This is a character I intend to represent in a deeper manner, different than the ‘evil cackling mad scientist just because evil and mad’. I like to think of cause and effect, and I do enjoy exploring the grey zones. Hence the title, Phantasma...the reality of what people think and what actually is can both be true. 
> 
> 7\. FEEDBACK: I am always grateful for readers, and any feedback is loved more than you can imagine! This story line is one I have been nursing for a while, tinkered with and discussed with other people, but I want to share it with many people! Speculations are always welcome, and how things struck people. 
> 
> 8\. ARTISTS: Are loved and adored! If this inspires you, you have my blessing. I will make links to any art you share and give love and credits!
> 
> AUTHOR’S NOTES: The Chapter Stuff  
> 1\. NEW CHAPTER: Finally more spicy stuff! More to come. And expect some banter and witty mayhem to come. This one’s a long one, so bear with me.
> 
> 2\. HOJO: Not a morning person. But he does have some actually helpful information for Cloud. He also has some rather interesting reasonings for what he did, why he did it. There are, evidently, struggles of his own, but he has few regrets. He simply focuses on fixing things in the future instead of lamenting in the past, a counterpoint to Cloud’s hampering by his past that makes it difficult to change his future. An interesting dichotomy.
> 
> 3\. CLOUD: His obsession for 00 is growing, a faceless person who has been through something he had, but his desire to find and help the person is slowly becoming an obsession to control and own. In a way, he is beginning to become more like Hojo than he realizes. He is also realizing he needs the crazy old coot because he is really losing his marbles.
> 
> 4\. ADDICTIONS AND MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES: I am by no means an expert, but I am exploring these concepts and causality while bringing mind preying parasites into the mix. I like to think that Jenova preys on mental conditions and acts both directly, and indirectly, hence the discussion of Whispers. It’s also incorporating aspects of addiction impulses.


	7. Man With a Vision

**Chapter 7: Man With a Vision**   
  


_“In every revolution, there’s one man with a vision.” - James T. Kirk  
(Star Trek TOS: Mirror Mirror) _

***

 _Generic All Purpose Trigger Warning_ . _Check the tags._   
**_Chapter Level: Mild with some shenanigans_ **

_***_

“Do you know what true brilliance is?” The question was asked languidly, yet the dark clad man with the helmet across from the questioner remained dutifully silent. Ever so professional. So stoic. So trained. Programmed to perfection. And that, while efficient, was terribly boring. And that was what brought the intellectual to his current thought process, that one sided discussion.  
  
“It is the power of leaving a legacy that still sculpts the world. Even deceased, the great Professor continues to inspire, his creations making an entirely new world. And it is my honour to carry on his torch.” Languidly, a page in the book was turned, and the brown haired man simply smiled, delighted in the details written upon the pages. It was yet another piece of HIS work. Something that will be carried on, improved into an entirely new level of genius by this man who considered himself Professor Hojo’s successor, or so the plan. “Oh, but this time… I do not have ShinRa’s faulty information. This time, I would not be drawn in by the clever trap he laid to lead any astray who attempt to steal his work.”   
  
Glasses were adjusted as he looked up briefly from the book when the covered truck they were sitting in came to a stop. “I had him once, you know. We captured him, but he was such a pleasant guest… hardly raised a fuss at all. In fact, dare I say, he rather enjoyed it… called it a ‘vacation’. And the conversations we had, such enlightening discussions! Truly a brilliant mind… a terrible shame that this world should lose him. If we did not allow him to be taken back, perhaps he might still live.” As the back end of the flap was opened, he looked patiently to the man that approached, one of the Ravens leaning in to report. “Fuhito, Sir, I have returned from Junon.”   
  
“And? Did you find it?”

“No, Sir. Someone else had found it before I arrived.”

“Ah. Any description of this individual?”

“Yes, Sir. A young man in his early twenties with a youthful face, blonde feathery styled hair, and a black motorcycle had arrived. He was armed with a large dual handed sword that he wielded in one. His eyes were blue and bore a mako glow.”

“Oh, Cloud Strife? How interesting.” Interesting indeed. Why would HE be looking for these missing pieces of a very special puzzle? Admittedly, it made his little quest all the more difficult, but it certainly put to light the fact that there were others on this scavenger hunt. That simply would not do. Who was it, then. The turncoat ShinRa boy? The WRO? Or possibly the NEW Avalanche that piggybacked on his old organization’s name and notoriety, the useful idiots allowing him to hide in plain sight. He doubted there was a single person in that ragtag lot that could make sense or find a proper use for the scattered materials. They would be more likely to destroy the precious documentation in their ignorant paranoia, and that he simply could not allow happen. “Send a call out to our informants. Track down any information regarding where he went and report to me immediately with what you find.”  
  
“Yes Sir.” As the man turned and mounted his motorcycle, Fuhito paused as his PHS chirped. And he sat forward with a positively curious look before his lips drew into a grand grin, elation bubbling in him. Oh. Another one! Slipping towards the front of the truck, he pulled the window aside, giving an announcement to the driver with a calmness that utterly belied his giddiness within. “A change of plans. We are going to Cosmo Canyon.” 

***

“This isn’t something you should laugh at!” Cloud admonished the scientist choking over his coffee.  
  
“Oh, believe me, Boy, I am not… laughing.” Hojo answered as he gasped for air, spots dancing over his vision. “You simply caught me by surprise.” He muttered low.   
  
”You’re the one who told me to tell you!” Fair enough.   
  
“You don’t know what you-” Hojo began, but he was cut off by a sharp retort.   
  
“I don’t know. You have everything so damned tangled up and wrapped in secrecy, I’m so damned confused, but I’m driven by these impulses! I don’t even know who he is. But I want to find him.”

“It would be better if you gave me the book back, Cloud.” The scientist warned, putting the mug on the table to stare the blonde down, but those mako glowing cerulean eyes were resolute.

“I’m not giving that back to you! You might make something weird out of it. Or go after 00 yourself.”  
  
“Mr. Strife. I wrote the book. It belongs to ME.”

“00 isn’t yours!” Cloud snapped out, moving in a rush of speed and inhuman strength to grab the scientist by the shirt, slamming him upon his back on the table in a raw display of violence that sent the mug crashing upon the floor.  
  
“Strife...00...” The words were choked off as Cloud’s hand twisted in the collar, turning it to strangle the retort out of the man.   
  
“He is a person, a PERSON! Not a number or a specimen, he’s a human being! No one else can understand what he’s been through, what he’s going through… except for me.” The fury, the frustration, the misery, the shame, the desperation, all of it was colliding in Cloud’s head as his pulse pounded in his ears.

“Strife… he...”

“He’s suffering, and he’s alone. He can’t go to anyone because they’ll never understand. He’s haunted by what you did… and all you do is call him a number… a thing...” But, he paused. No. Not quite. The OTHER person referred to 00 as ‘it’. Hojo’s notes weren’t quite so callous, even if they were professionally neutral. What were the notes on Cloud like? “He is a real person… I’m a real person...” Cloud was shaking, burying his face into the man’s chest, listening to the heart beating… a surprising sound from such a seemingly heartless man. He listened to the slightly wheezed breaths from the half strangled man. Hojo was warm, surprisingly warm, and as Cloud felt the sting in his tight clenched eyes, the trickling of coolness in the fabric, he felt himself shaking terribly. Suddenly, he felt something upon his head and it made the warrior tense. Slightly trembling fingers touched the soft golden locks, then began to pet. At any other time, Cloud would have been annoyed at being pet like a Chocobo, but in that moment, it was an odd sort of comforting.  
  
“Yes. You are a real person.”   
  
“What’s his name, Hojo.”   
  
“I cannot tell you.” As he felt the tight clench in Cloud’s body over his own, the older man continued. “I cannot tell anyone. If you know about him, and Reeve and Rufus knows, then there is a chance others know, and the situation is entirely too dangerous.” 

“What. Is. His. NAME.” Cloud emphasized with an absolute enunciation, almost desperate in his grilling of the scientist. However, no name was spoken. Nothing. A thought struck Cloud. Oh. Oh shit. “Was it… Vincent?” He heard from Vincent that he was experimented on… though, from what little was mentioned, it seemed different than what happened to Cloud. Or so he thought. But, then, with the little trio of Sephiroth mini-spawns, Vincent wasn’t in the least bit hampered. He didn’t have Jenova Whispers. The man didn’t seem to have Jenova cells in him.

“No. He was… another project that another scientist was working on. I merely helped from time to time. Though, ironically, he only seemed to remember and resent me.” He gave a soft wry laugh. “Dear Lu truly had him wrapped around her finger.”

“Lu?” Cloud repeated, looking somewhat concerned, perplexed as he raised his head to look to Hojo who he’d slacked his grip on… slightly. 

“Lucrecia Crescent.” He spoke the name, a fondness and a hint of sadness in his voice, though he smiled lightly. That name, though, was something Cloud recalled from his readings. The way the woman wrote in the books was almost… twistedly sadistic and callous with a veneer of sweetness and an edge of humour. Nothing at all like how Vincent described her. “She was beautiful, brilliant, and mercilessly curious. It was easy to get carried away around her.”

“I could ask Vincent...” Cloud began, and that hand dropped from his hair to land with a soft thump upon the table.   
  
“Do you intend to ask Vincent Valentine about Lucrecia? Not even I would pull the pin on that grenade.”

“No. I will ask him about 00.” And then the scientist stiffened, those green eyes narrowing slightly shrewdly at the young man still pinning him down to the table.

“He was not allowed into the labs for that research. He does not know that classified information. And if he did, I doubt he would tell you. Let it go, Mr. Strife. In fact, let ME go.” The scientist tried to push himself up, clearing his throat.

“I have some questions you still need to answer...”

“On my kitchen table? Let me up!” Hojo breathed a low groan as Cloud pressed closer between his legs to pin him down with that enhanced strength. The blonde almost enjoying making the man squirm nervously.  
  
“I am going to pin you wherever I want as long as I get what I want out of you..."  
  
“Gee, hope I’m not interfering, yo.”

“Can it wait a minute, I’m trying to….” And Cloud stopped as he saw the look of surprise, recognition, and alarm on Hojo’s face, and the man suddenly turned his head, using the dark hair to cover his face along with his hands. And then the mercenary realized… he recognized that voice. The moment was broken, something felt like it was slithering back as he became more aware of the moment.

“Gaia damn it, Reno.”

And it was then that he realized that it was QUITE the compromising position they were in, and turning his head to look over his shoulder, the curious Turk who’d just entered looked genuinely amused with a crafty grin as he waved back. It was then that the hero realized that he was certainly feeling a tell tale firmness where his hip was pressing close to the (retired) mad scientist. That took a moment to process and the realization was shocking, disturbing, and a tiny bit amusing. Oh. No wonder why Hojo kept begging for him to back off. Like a cat sprayed with water, Cloud darted from Hojo, and the scientist scrabbled off the table in a blur of motion and dark loose hair, bolting through the door and down the hall.

“Didn’t tell me you found a squeeze in Nibelheim.” Reno remarked with a cheeky grin, settling the mercenary a sly look. 

“It’s not what you think.” Cloud snapped while he decided to distract himself as he began cleaning up the broken mug to give himself anywhere to look than at the Turk leaning in the doorway. Why the hell was he THERE?!  
  
“I’m thinkin’ this ‘special therapy’ Reeve mentioned just got a whole lot more interestin’.”   
  
“You’re thinking wrong. I just lost my patience with the doctor...” That wasn’t sounding too good, Cloud realized with a wince. “...he likes to keep important things from me.”

“Consent is important, Cloud.”

“It’s not like that, either!” He flushed as he fumbled with the mug chunks. “Honestly, Reno. He’s fine. I think you scared him more than I did.”

“Yeah, imagine that.” Reno absently scratched his cheek in thought under one of the twin scarlet marks. “So… any new leads?”

“I found some pictures in Junon...” 

“Don’t tell me you looked at them... oh crap, you did, didn’ya.” The scarlet haired Turk gave a rueful grimace. “Damn… shoulda warned you not to look at any of the pictures. I worked with the guy in the past, best way to describe them is ‘nightmare porn’.”

“Reno, just out of curiosity… who’s looking for this material?” Cloud valiantly attempted to derail the topic to something a little more important and less unsettling.

“As far as I know? Reeve and Rufus, but the Boss is workin’ with Reeve right now so they could collect the stuff together first and get the stuff secured faster. We found out the core of Avalanche is still around.” Cloud bore a rather blank look. “They tried in the past to duplicate Hojo’s SOLDIER program to create somethin’ similar. Enhanced humans called ‘Ravens’. Damn nasty mess…” His words trailed off as he ruffled his fingers through the garish wild crimson locks, betraying an old pain, something REALLY bad had happened. What it was, Cloud didn’t know. His memory tried to drag something up, but it was fuzzy at best. But he KNEW there was truth to it. His grasp on his past wasn’t the most sturdy thing, however. “Well, it was lead by Fuhito… some batshit crazy scientist who had, like, THE biggest man crush on Professor Hojo.” Reno continued after a long breath. “He’s the one who headed up the Raven project. Hell, he even broke into ShinRa to kidnap the Doc himself! Maximum fanboy right there. Lost a lot of Turks and SOLDIERs to take him and his group out, and we thought he was dead after. So, yeah, HE was sighted. That’s why Reeve and the boss are tryin’ to find the books and things before Fuhito does.”

“And...things? The photos, you mean.”

“Videos, too.” Reno added, and Cloud paled because he didn’t know about THAT. A part of him piqued in curiosity and he promptly squashed it down.

“Good Gaia. And it doesn’t bother you, Reno?”

“I’ve seen some shit, yo. Comes with the job. But, yeah, it gives me the willies.”

“I still can’t believe we’re aligning with you.”

“I mean, you’re the terrorist organization. You do know what Avalanche really was, right?”

“An eco protection group.” Cloud repeated Barret’s words flatly, no verve at all, but he DID have his doubts at the time. Still did.

“Yeah, with goals to kill every living human.” Reno remarked flatly, eyes narrowing slightly as he watched annoyance rampage across Cloud’s face, but there was evident belief.

“Barret wouldn’t agree with that, and you know it, Reno.”

“Oh, yeah, I know it. The Boss knows it, the Turks know it, and Rude knows it… why he still went through and married your little friend. We also know that the organization was two fold.” Reno explained, ticking off with his fingers to display his topics. “You got your public advertised layer of ‘fight for the Planet’ and ‘down with the evil authority’, that was the part where the kids and malcontents joined to blindly wreck havoc for a ‘better cause’ like it’s some kind of rebellion party.”   
  
This was hitting too close to home, because when he joined as a mercenary for freelance jobs with Avalanche… and even during their adventures outside of Midgar, the organization and the rather ideal driven (but not logic driven) group bothered him to no end. People died as a result of those bombing raids and their actions but Barret, Jesse, Wedge, and Biggs all had the same view, it was a price for a greater good. With Jesse, Wedge, and Biggs however there was some doubt and moral struggle. Barret was too enwrapped in the rhetoric to care. Tifa just didn’t discuss it. 

The original group was mostly killed fighting to stop the plate from being dropped in Sector Seven… but if what Reno said was true… then the core group may have been there, and it was a tactic to bury them. Honestly, all sides seemed hell bent to tear the city apart to stop the other and there was no clear line between ‘good’ and ‘bad’. The newcomers to the group outside of Midgar didn’t buy into the ideals at least, fighting for their own instead. That, he could work with.   
  
“I finally talked Barret into not using the name for the rest of us, but he only agreed after he stopped getting information and funding from the core group… and actually meeting different people outside the city. I never did like taking orders from people I don’t see, or be seen as if I was part of a group that did.”  
  
“See...now there’s the REAL core of Avalanche, the ones that funded and gave the idealistic kids marchin’ orders.” Reno remarked as he strode forward, hands tucked into his pockets casually. “We know good ol’ Wallace wouldn’t go around bombing civilians as an idea out of his own head. Big heart, yeah, but military tactics and logistics aren’t his thing, y’know? Someone had to give him the order. And the explosives. And sweet talk him into doing it. Same someone who kidnapped people to create the Ravens and intended, and probably still intends, to go scorched Planet on humanity.”

“He says there’s ‘Old Avalanche’ and ‘New Avalanche’.”

“Nah, still the same ol’ Avalanche. Just… there’s the real core and there’s the meatshield cover layer of kiddos and mooks who don’t know what’s really doin’ to make a PR front and hide the real deal. Sad thing is, the ‘useful idiots’ layer won’t believe you if you told them the truth of what’s going on in their group. Pictures, videos… doesn’t matter. It’s all for the ‘cause’.  
  
“People see Avalanche as the people who saved the world from Sephiroth, the Weapons, and Deepground, Reno. Because of us, and that’s because the stupid name was used. You know they’re not going to believe that Avalanche has some plan to kill everyone… or worse.” Cloud began… feeling a rather sinking pit in his belly, and he made his way to carry the mug fragments to the trash, mind and soul weighing heavy. He REALLY should have insisted they drop that stupid group name a lot sooner. He should have been more insistent.

“Kind of ironic, isn’t it? ShinRa and Turks are thought to be baddest of the bad, and we’ve done some pretty bad things but we’ve done some good, a lot more these days, and I gotta say, I like that new direction. But these guys, now they’re just bad news for EVERYONE. You guys made possibly one of the most blood thirsty groups in the world look like a bunch of sweetheart heroes, and the regular people eager to help them don’t have a clue these people want to see the civilians dead after they use them. Since ShinRa lost a lot of power… Fuhito’s own has grown… hey! Hold up a sec, Blondie.”   
  
With a rustle of clothing, the Turk stepped between Cloud and the trash can, peering shrewdly to the ceramic chunks. “Hey… I know that mug… couldn’t be… “ He began collecting them from the mercenary’s hands to lay out the pieces together in something akin to order, peering to the message. ‘A lack of preparation on your part isn’t necessarily an emergency on my part’. “Y’know, it’s funny… Professor Hojo used to have one just like this… yeah!” And then he picked up the intact bottom chunk where a faded marker image could be seen of a hand crassly flipping the middle finger. “Holy shit, it is! Man, thought he’d get mad when I drew on the bottom with a SOLDIER Ink marker… y’know, stuff doesn’t come off.”

“Was he mad?”

“Hell no! He made damned sure to bring that mug to every board meetin’. Guy had a weird sense of humour like that. Always had surprises.” Dropping the shards on the counter, the Turk turned sharply, a hand slipping to the mag rod hidden under his coat, but he remained utterly still, poised like a snake on the verge of a lethal strike. After all, staring straight into a gun barrel DID tend to make a person pause. However, Reno only grinned wider. “What’s up, Doc?”  
  
“You know, you could at least expend the effort to look surprised.” Hojo remarked casually as he stepped forward, firearm held steady to the smirking Turk, and the details of the weapon became more evident to Cloud. It was a Turks specialized firearm, not a regular run of the mill standard issue that a civilian or employee would have. A befuddling thing, but there were gleaming materia slotted into it, and the poise and ease the weapon was held revealed an old comfort and well honed practice with the firearm. For a moment, Cloud had forgotten that the retired (not quite) old man in the woods was still a very deadly individual. And it wouldn’t be the first Turk he’d taken down with a bullet.   
  
“Ya know, after workin’ with you for a while, I’m just used to taking whatever happens when it comes to you. Besides. You’re not the only dead scientist to crop up, Doc.” Reno replied casually, though he was assessing the movements and posture of the scientist.

“Fuhito.”

“Bingo. So, ya listened in, huh?” Of course, the Turk paused a while, scrunching his face slightly with a peevish peering look. “Damn, even after all this time, it’s just so fuckin’ weird seein’ you like this. You’re like… grandpa age, but you look like a DILF. Even more now with the ‘mountain dad clothes’.”

“Please don’t call me that, Reno...” Hojo actually, much to Cloud’s shock, had a brush of colour on his cheeks, and in an odd way, it was amusing to see SOMETHING get past the man’s casual seeming defenses.

“So...” As both eyes in the standoff turned to him, Cloud pointed out something he had noticed for some time, but now seemed the perfect time to mention it. “You’re a Professor. But people call you ‘Doc’ or Doctor. And you’re bothered more by him calling you… what he called you?”

“To be perfectly honest, at this point, I do not care. ‘Doctor’ is a more comforting and respected title than my degree title with other people now, and who is there left for me to impress? Semantics simply do not matter. And truthfully, compared to other nicknames and titled, ‘Doc’ is rather polite.”

“But ya hate being called a DILF.” The sassy scarlet haired hitman remarked with a smirk.

“I do not HATE it… it simply is not professional or appropriate.”  
  
“Pfff… not accordin’ to what I-” And then a loud click filled the kitchen as the safety was removed. “Made your point there, Doc.”   
  
“Good, now. Shut off your PHS and place it on the counter.” Hojo calmly ordered, training the gun on the redhead who slipped the phone from his pocket, showing the screen going blank and set it on the counter. “Hands up.”

“You’re good, Doc, gotta give you that.”

“I have used these tricks myself. Now… why are you here?”

“He tracked me.” Cloud groaned as he watched the odd scene, arms crossed lightly over his chest, and Reno nodded, confirming his theory. “My PHS?”

“With how you lose’em? Not a chance.”

The blonde pursed his lips but he then dipped his head aside. “Not Fenrir. It’s on the Shera.”

As the hammer on the gun pulled back, some of that bravado melted out of the skillful hitman. Well, the information wouldn’t be worth holding onto at this point. He found what they were looking for. “The book, yo. Boss figured that’s the last thing you’d let go of, and gotta say, he had a point.”

Of course. And Cloud silently cursed at himself. Hojo was right. That book WAS trouble for him. The scientist, however, was observing the explanation carefully, keeping in his clean distance on the other side of the room with remarkable control over the gun, not a waver to the long barrel after holding it that long.  
  
“Okay, we established how you tracked me. But WHY are you here, Reno? I thought Rufus would have given me time to find the other books.” Cloud continued.

“Oh, easy. The books were part of the job, yeah, but mostly he wanted for you to find Reeve’s ‘medical genius’ he’d been refusin’ to give info on. When your location didn’t change over a day, and there was a call to Reeve on top of it, I knew you found something, yo. Basically, I followed the huntin’ dog. He knew it was someone from Hojo’s lab. No one suspected it was the big man himself, though.”

“I should be mad, but at this point, I don’t even care, Reno.” The blonde groused. “It’s not surprising. But, I’m charging that bastard double. Wait... how did you know I made a call to Reeve?” 

“C’mon, how secure do you think the open PHS network is? Especially against us? It’s so easy to tap, we don’t even need an insider! That’s why ShinRa and the Turks have their private network, yo!” Cloud tensed slightly, beginning to realize why Vincent was so reluctant to use the damned things in the first place. The PHS was becoming more trouble than it was worth.

“Well, regardless...” Hojo interjected, clearing his throat. “I can’t let you reveal to Rufus that I’m here. Or alive.”

“See, that’s the beauty of this situation. You shoot me, I don’t report in. Then you’ll have a bigger mess on your hands. Either way, your cozy secret country doc gig is up.”

Finally, Hojo eased the hammer of the gun back into a safer place because he knew the annoyingly effective redhead was right. Replacing the safety back into position and holstering the weapon with a rustle of metal in leather, he stepped forward to sink into the chair at the table, muttering low in Wutian. Something about Reno tripping and being killed by a head injury caused by tofu, his own head buried in his hands.

Straightening out his jacket, Reno raised his eyebrows as he turned an amused look to Cloud. “So, you’re the last person I’d expect to be all buddy buddy with the ‘Doc’ Cloud. What changed your mind?”

“I just didn’t kill him because I needed help with my condition, and no one Reeve could offer could help. I heard about a doctor who was good with SOLDIER and mako poisoning conditions, so I came here. It just happened to be him.” Drawing a deep breath, he exhaled, shoulders slacking. “He’s… different.” Cloud finally stated somewhat begrudgingly.

“Yeah. Doc had his good days and bad days. Worst days were when Jenova moved into the building. Actually, when he went to Nibelheim and found...” Reno’s words trailed off, shaking his head. “Well, he went full balls nuts. Took you and Zack busting out for him to come back, but he brought his creepy girlfriend.”

“Contrary to the rumours in the gossip pool, I did not have a relationship with that… thing.” Hojo replied, sounding mildly ashamed, plentifully annoyed, and generously exasperated.

“Doc, I hadn’t seen a man as whipped as you were except for those poor bastards Scarlett used to sink her claws in.”

“I would rather not compare Jenova and Scarlett.” 

“I don’t know… Reno might have a point.” Cloud remarked. “I mean… they’re both pretty scary manipulative women with a pretty nasty jealous streak.”  
  
“When it comes down to it, no matter where they’re from or what they are, I suppose that manner of woman is consistent.” Hojo remarked. He grimaced slightly at THAT notion. He direly wished that wasn’t a universal commonality. 

“Especially if they’re the home wrecking jealous types who would key your car THEN set it on fire. After seducing your brother behind your back...” The Turk chimed in as he cocked his head, thumbs hooked into his pockets as he peered to the man who was looking like he was having a midlife crisis on the kitchen table.

“Say, Reno… just a question.” Cloud finally interrupted, and those mischievous but cunning blue eyes raised to him, eyebrows raising. “You don’t look so surprised by his...” The SOLDIER gestured to his own face before the redhead began digging in his pockets, hunting for a pack of cigarettes and a lighter.

“How about we go into this story on the porch, yo. Hey, Doc. Up for a cigarette?”

“Oh Gaia, yes.” The man at the table wheezed, rising to scrabble his hand in a box near the back door and yanked on a hideous bland grey coat from the peg by the frame, and the Turk followed. It was surreal for Cloud to see… Reno and Hojo, ambling to the back porch to sit on a worn hewn wooden bench, and sharing a lighter. He didn’t know Reno smoked. Or Hojo. He was beginning to realize there was a LOT he didn’t know. And the ease the two had in this shared vice and how they even shared the same lighter told that they’ve had many a smoke break together. Possibly avoiding other employees. He followed out, finally, settling to sit on a rocking chair, such a domestic soothing thing in this domesticated mad house.  
  
“So, it was five years ago, or six...” Reno began.   
  
“Seven.” Hojo supplied, holding his cigarette with slightly trembling long fingers and seeming to find sweet bliss with a long lingering drag. The difference in their tastes was apparent. Reno had a preference for a more rugged tobacco, but Hojo had cloves, a sweet spiced aromatic blend.   
  
“Oh, right, seven. Ol’ Doc here got into a drinking match with Scarlett, and I had to rescue him, ‘cause either there was gonna be a scandal or a murder, but either way, I’d have to clean it up in the morning, and hauling him away was the easier task. So… to sober him up so he didn’t puke in the company car when I drove him home, I used a wet rag to his face and HELLO. Dropped, what… fifty, sixty years?”

“I’m not THAT old, brat.” Hojo snarked back.

“So, yeah. He was JUST sober enough to shove his gun into my balls and threaten to make sure I couldn’t make any Reno Jrs in the future if I told anyone.”

“The offer still stands, you know.” The scientist smirked.

“Nah, I’m good, old man.”

“To trim a long story down, Mr. Strife, we have had a… unique working relationship. I could have special jobs go through Reno directly and he would keep an eye out for certain matters while stimulating the gossip pool with juicy tidbits that may or may not have been true. In return, I rendered medical assistance, private therapy, a couch in my office for him to rest when he was overworked...”  
  
“And you kept my booze in your specimen fridge.”   
  
“That I did.” Hojo admitted.

“You know, you’ve really mellowed out, Doc.” Reno remarked.  
  
“Maybe it’s the clean mountain air.” Said ‘Doc’ replied. An irreverent snort escaped Cloud.

“You know… the boss might be pretty forgiving. I can give him a good word for ya… get you back into work.”

“I am retired, Reno. This...” He gestured to the home business. “...this is all I need for now.”

“Yeah, but I know you. That mind of yours can’t enjoy getting domesticated. I know you enough that you should be gettin’ stir crazy by now.”

A deeper drag, a slight bobbing of the knee, even Cloud could see the signs in Hojo. Nerves. He WAS feeling that edge from being cooped up. Feeling the stress building with what was happening outside the sleepy town.

“Cozy house arrest Reeve has you in.” Reno teased, and that was it. Hojo rose, raking his fingers through his hair as he huffed soft plumes in the air, cheeks and nose flushing from the cold. And he began pacing.

“I cannot return to what I did once, Reno. As you stated yourself, you have seen me at my worst.”

“Yeah.” Reno remarked, but he gestured. “But you can’t stay here, either.”

“Why do you say that, Reno?” Cloud interjected.  
  
“Because Fuhito’s out there...”

“And if he gets my research material...” Hojo continued, before those mako touched green eyes looked from Cloud to Reno. “...things will become chaotic again.”

“What happens if he gets ahold of 00?” Cloud asked, and for a moment, Hojo paled, a shiver racing down his spine as a realization seemed to strike him, and he sucked that coffin nail until a long line of ash lingered before falling from the slight tremble in his fingers.  
  
“Then, he can probably reverse engineer, or recreate the REAL Sephiroth project, yo.” Reno remarked, and he blinked, nearly dropping his own cigarette with the one words that dropped from the normally professional scientist’s lips.

“Shit!”

Cloud almost repeated that word himself as he sat straighter, his own PHS suddenly chirping to life with a loud abruptness that even made the other two people on the porch flinch. 

“Reeve… why are you calling as Cait Sith...oh, Nanaki!” Cloud sat straighter slightly. “Yes… what? You found something? Who’s handwriting?” The blonde stood up as he glanced askance to Hojo, eyebrows raising. “I mean, if you sent pics of pages to Vincent on his PHS and he says it looks like Hojo’s handwriting, I’d probably say it is, but… Nanaki, I’m actually looking for something like that. Yeah. Reeve knows. Actually, I’m in Nibelheim… I’ll meet up with you! Tell Reeve to call Cid, get the group together, we’re going to need the Shera.” Turning his device off, Cloud rose, then began typing out a text.

“Hey, need a lift, yo? Chopper’s faster than a chocobo.” Reno offered from the bench, rising with a slight stretch, but when he saw Hojo rising to stand, he raised an eyebrow. “Where do you think you’re going, old man?”

“If it is concerning MY books, I want to be the one to handle it.”

“Yeah, but, y’know… I can’t let you go into the place.” Reno began.

“Nanaki would smell you.” Cloud chimed in. “And I doubt he’d be happy to see you.”

“Then I can wait in the chopper.” Hojo replied simply.

With a glance between the mercenary and the Turk, more than enough was communicated in the pair in a mere look than needed to be said in words. “I’ll get her ready in fifteen. Meet me in the center of town, yo!”

***  
  


“You WHAT?!”

“I said I want my book back!”

“You have to be crazy… again."  
  
“Mr. Strife… if I wanted other people reading my journals, I wouldn’t have buried them over Gaia’s green Planet!”   
  
“Have you two considered getting a room?”

“Reno!” The appropriate amount of appalled came from the other two in sync, and Reno grinned as he flew the bladed bird through the skies.

“I still don’t understand, why were you sent after me instead of any of the other Turks?” Cloud asked, even the headset’s mic picked up on his confusion.  
  
“Because the Boss didn’t want to send me on the OTHER mission. Thought I might get too distracted and get more than what we’re supposed to find.” There was a slight huff of annoyance from the redhead as he guided the vehicle with ease. It really was the dream mission, the one with every bragging right.

“That being...?” The blonde prodded.  
  
“Going into the wreckage of Midgar to find Don Corneo’s secret porn vault.”

Silence reigned for a moment… as much silence as muffled rotor blades allowed.

“Come again?” Finally Cloud hazarded, not certain he heard that right.

“You didn’t get me off the first time, yo.”

“RENO!”

“Sheesh, ok ok! Don’t get your panties into a twist, Blondie.”

“Mr. Strife, I would appreciate that you did not murder the pilot, put the blade away.” The mad scientist, surprisingly, was the voice of reason. “Reno, as much as I am going to regret requesting this, but please continue...”  
  
“So, it’s like this. Johnny, an old informant from way back in Midgar, and I were sharing some texts and laughs, and we got to talkin’ about horror movies and porn. Y’know, guy things. Well, we got to talking about tentacle porn, and he said he saw the real deal. Not the Wutai animated Hentai stuff… real wrigglies, or so he said. And he said it was something Don Corneo showed to the guys workin’ for him one night for shits and giggles. One of his personal stash he collected. THAT shit is legendary, y’know. He owned the hentai industry...”

“Get back to the point, Reno.” The blonde snapped.

“Oh Goddess, I do not like where this is going...” Hojo groaned over the com line.

“For once, I’ll agree with you.” Cloud chimed in. Already he was getting a headache. What the hell did porn have to do with the Turks?

“ANYhow, I asked him what it was called because… y’know, professional curiosity…”

“I doubt it.” Hojo muttered.

“... and he said that was the funny part. It didn’t say anything except Experiment:00. And a date.” Flicking a glance to the mirror, he saw the pair of passengers jerk to sit upright. “So, Boss ordered Tseng, Elena, and asked Vincent to look into the perv’s old palace in the slums to try to find the Vault.”

“Uh, what about Rude and Tifa?” Cloud asked.

“Honeymoon.” That feathery blonde haired head then nodded. Yeah. Best not to interrupt THEIR romantic interlude by a quest for lewd videos. Tifa would probably Dolphin Blow a person to the Promised Land and back. Still, he did hazard a glance to Hojo who had his face buried in his hands as best he could considering the headgear, looking damned near humiliated. Was that even possible?  
  
“Smut. My finest research, relegated to some porkish oaf’s pornographic collection.”   
  
“Research… sure, whatever, Doc.”   
  
Still, Cloud, despite himself, found himself snickering, and that earned himself a look of confusion from Reno as the sound carried over the com. He rarely saw anything bring a smile to Cloud, much less a laugh. This was truly a historic day.   
  
“What’s got you tickled, Blondie?”

“Just trying to picture Vincent hunting for porn.”

“Vinny… imagine TSENG!”

The only one not outright laughing was Hojo who, oddly, did not find it THAT amusing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AUTHOR’S NOTES: The General stuff  
> 1\. DISCLAIMER: Final Fantasy VII, the setting, and the characters therein are property of Square-Enix, created by an amazing team, and inspired a good many people. I do not own any of the characters or setting, but I am playing in the world with a fan’s love. If you haven’t bought the FFVIIR remake, go out and get it! A fantastic adventure. Also, that soundtrack is glorious.
> 
> 2\. CHAPTER QUOTES: What writer doesn’t love using inspirational quotes, and there are the usual ones people go to… songs, Shakespear, famous writers and scientists. I decided to go full challenge and use James T Kirk quotes. Why? For one thing, I wanted a creative challenge. And the other...as campy as the character may be, there are some inspirational yet human quotes. Well, with what I have planned, it works well!
> 
> 3\. TRIGGERS: Every. Word. Is. A. Potential. Trigger. Literature is a den of dangers. If you are a blooming flower not ready to handle a literary storm that can grow hot and thrilling, you might want to either buckle in for a wild ride, or find a milder fic. Any trigger complaints will be forwarded to the HR department of ACME Writers LLC as trigger complaints are above my paygrade. I just work here as a writer.
> 
> 4\. LEVELS OF SPICE: So people have an idea what to expect, I have levels of intensity, or ‘spicy’ as I call it. Starting with Mild, Medium, Hot… and going from there, the reader can have an idea what to expect without me giving away everything that’s happening in the header note. Check the tags, because they get updated with every chapter.
> 
> 5\. SOMEWHAT AU: Somewhat AU because I add to the lore (what’s fanfiction without crack pairings) and adjust it here and there intentionally, but all in all, it’s the world of the Compilation. But if something seems out of place, it’s intentional, most likely. I’d been into FFVII since the first release. Also, keep the ‘But in Remake it’s...’ badgering to a minimum.
> 
> 6\. HOJO: Here’s what I know some of you are here for (he does have his fans), and I hope you will be in for a surprise. This is a character I intend to represent in a deeper manner, different than the ‘evil cackling mad scientist just because evil and mad’. I like to think of cause and effect, and I do enjoy exploring the grey zones. Hence the title, Phantasma...the reality of what people think and what actually is can both be true. 
> 
> 7\. FEEDBACK: I am always grateful for readers, and any feedback is loved more than you can imagine! This story line is one I have been nursing for a while, tinkered with and discussed with other people, played in RP, but I want to share it with many people! Speculations are always welcome, and I like to hear how things struck people. Also, since I don’t have a Beta, pardon any oopses.
> 
> 8\. ARTISTS: Are loved and adored! If this inspires you, you have my blessing. I will make links to any art you share and give love and credits!
> 
> AUTHOR’S NOTES: The Chapter Stuff  
> 1\. NEW CHAPTER: Getting that Plot ball rolling. It’s all excitement from here! And you’ll probably notice they’re getting longer.
> 
> 2\. RENO: The sass is strong with this one. Banter with him is very fun to write, especially with bouncing off of Hojo and Cloud. It’s the oddest trio of personalities since the Marx Brothers.
> 
> 3\. INFORMANT: 10 points to whoever catches on to who Reno’s informant is.
> 
> 4\. THE WUTAI/DON CORNEO HENTAI THEORY: Wutai is FFVII’s Japan. Hentai comes from Japan. Don Corneo is King perv and (if what my reading was correct) he has a place in Wutai. Ergo, Hentai comes out of Wutai because of Don Corneo.


	8. Nothing Wrong With You

**Chapter 8: Nothing Wrong With You**   
  


_ “There’s nothing wrong with you that hasn’t gone wrong with every other human male since the model first came out.”   
\- James T. Kirk    
(Star Trek TOS: Charlie X) _

***

_ Generic All Purpose Trigger Warning _ .  _ Check the tags. _   
**_Chapter Level: SPICY! Don’t try this at home, kids._ **

_ *** _

Of all the things to greet them as the whirly bird touched down, Reno never expected the little robot cat to come clambering from the rugged settlement, ambling forward with a wave as he held tight to his crown to keep it from getting knocked off by the wind of the rotor blades.

“Well, looks like we got a greeting party.” Cloud remarked, unbuckling himself and hopping out to walk towards the cat, but he stopped, turning, pointing to Reno, yelling out to the redhead. “Watch him. Make sure HE...” His finger shifted to point to the remaining passenger “...doesn’t leave. Or doesn’t go through my bags.”

Reno grinned and gave a two fingered salute, leaning back in his seat as he laced his fingers behind his head. “Wonder if Blondie doesn’t get that I can’t hear him over all of this, yo.”

“I am certain that has not crossed his mind, but I do not doubt his meaning was clear enough for us to understand.”

“Keep you out of trouble, then.”

“Indubitably.”

Beginning to flip switches to wind down the blades of the chopper, settling the engine to a lower hum for standby, Reno turned to look to Hojo. “I still don’t get how you survived.”

“Which? My ‘death’ on the Canon, or not being murdered by Mr. Strife?”

“The first, yeah, the second, double yeah.”

“Simple. I have what he needs, and I am the only person who is capable of providing it. It speaks to how badly his condition has grown that he so readily accepted me.”

“Blondie hasn’t been looking good. At the wedding, I thought he turned into a zombie… just sorta… stood there, stared all empty lookin’. What you did to him, man. That was terrible.”

“Perhaps. But if I did not do what I did, would we be alive to have this conversation?”

“That’s fuckin’ cold, man.” Reno grimaced as he slouched back in his seat, crossing one leg over the other as he watched the people milling and working on the outskirts of town, observing the occasional vehicle pass by.   
  
“It is the truth.” Hojo stated simply.    
  
“Yeah, but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t bite.”

Watching Cloud finish talking with Cait Sith and stride towards the main entry for Cosmo Canyon, Reno grinned as he watched the cat approach.

“What’s up Pussycat!”  
  
“Well, Mornin’ to ya Red!” The feline cheerfully chirped as he approached the side, only to yelp as he was hauled in by Reno, getting yanked in and manhandled into the pilot’s lap where he was getting rubbed all over his belly and sides, rendering the feline helpless with laughter. “N...nao… st...stop… that’s...ahahah! I’m ticklish hahaha!”

All merriment was cut off into a yowled yelp as long fingers reached past Reno’s seat to pinch one of the feline ears, and Cait Sith held still, a look of worry and alarm touching those feline features. “Relay to your master that I am VERY upset with him.”

“Gah! I can see why you are upset, Doc, but I kin explain!”

“Those books do not belong to Reeve or Rufus… or ANYONE… they belong to me!” Hojo hissed at the rightfully terrified artificial creature, and Reno held absolutely still while keeping a firm grip.

“I know… but...” As the pinch and tug on the ear increased, the animatronic mewled. “All right, all right! Reeve’ll send ya yer books, Doc… just be nice to m’ear!” The brogue rolled thick from the distressed creation, but Hojo seemed satisfied, and Cait sait up, rubbing his ear with a low sound of dismay. “You can be a right monster, Hojo.”

“I spent years building that reputation, do not think I will allow my retirement to tarnish it.” At the snort of amusement from the scarlet haired Turk, he raised a cool eyebrow. “What are you so amused about?”

“Nothin’, Doc.” With the prolonged sharp look. “This ain’t nothin’ like you at your scary level.”

“Well, do not give me a reason to go there and I think everyone will be happier.” Sitting back, the scientist began routing around in one of the packs he insisted on bringing, pulling out a brimmed old worn cap and began tucking his hair up into a twist and pulled the hat on, looking every bit like an average joe workman complete with the blue shirt with sleeves rolled to the elbows and faded denim pants.

Leaning against Reno’s chest to watch, the tail lashed, and the pilot stroked his fingers down the soft furred back. For an animatronic, it felt real. So weird. But nice. He could even feel a little purring inside and that was delightful.

“Ya shouldna left the town, Doc. It’s too dangerous for you to leave.”

“For me, or others?” The scientist slapped back in a catty remark. 

“A bit o both.”

“Yes, well, if your little cavalcade of ingrates intend to find my books and return them, I suppose I would find it easier if I guided you to the locations where I had hidden them.”

“Like Don Corneo’s Porn Vault?”

“Shush, Reno.”

“Nanaki was right concerned when he found yer book in Bugenhagen’s collection. He would have kittens if he knew ya came here.”

“Or puppies.” Reno chimed in with a soft laugh, drifting his gaze to the rather mundane sight of a large truck getting a bit of service maintenance and a fill up at the station and workshop area on the outskirts. He squinted slightly, though. That truck had some serious treads. The guys working on it had some spiffy uniforms, though. Huh.   
  
“Oh, I think he will be in for a bit of a surprise, regardless. He is a predatory creature with senses attuned for hunting.” Hojo remarked casually as he pulled his bottle to drink water out of, dipping his head aside.

“Yeah?” Cait chimed in, cocking his head as he looked to the smirking scientist.

“Mr. Strife did not take a shower before we left.”

“Why should that matter?” Cait paused, one ear quirking down as he rubbed his head. This was confusing, especially as those fingers laced in his fur curled, tensing.

“Oh shit.” Breathed Reno and his fingers snaked out to dance over switches and toggles.  


***

  
The second the scent greeted him, immediately Nanaki’s hackles rose, and an instinctive bristle tensed through his frame. A warm greeting with a dear friend turned into a sharp curl of a predatory tension as an old scent stirred a rush of emotions and memories. A scent that should NOT be that fresh.

“I would have greeted you more warmly, Cloud...” His voice rumbled with a low a growl as his lip curled from his fangs. “... but I smell HIM on you.” The flame on the flicking tail flared brighter.

And there, the blonde paused, blinking in genuine bafflement before realization struck him like a behemoth’s tail swipe, the memory of that morning, that VERY compromising and awkward moment on the kitchen table that Reno so relentlessly teased him over. Oh shit.

“It’s not what you think...” Cloud regretted those words, because that seemed to be the words of the day. Somehow, he had a feeling those words were going to crop up more often. “...I mean, YEAH, he’s alive...” He spoke low, glancing about. “...but Reeve had him under house arrest and I found him. There’s a lot to it. Look, I wasn’t happy to find him either…. but...” Cloud’s shoulders sagged as he finally bore the flat truth of the matter. “...I really need his help because of my condition.” As the battle scarred creature eased a bit of that stance, cocking his head, he peered to Cloud who looked almost… desperate. Frustrated. “He’s… not the same as I remember him. I mean… he is… but he’s not AS crazy. Still nuts, but he’s more...” The blonde hesitated, and finally said the word he’d skated. “...human.” Absently rubbing the back of his neck, the mercenary uttered those odd odd words. “He’s retired and working as a country doctor and medical research consultant for Reeve. As far as I can see, it checks out.”

Shaking himself off with a jingling of chimes and fluttering of hair, Nanaki stepped forward to Cloud to peer intently into those blue eyes. “Will you take responsibility for him?” This was it, wasn’t it? He would have to take ownership of the man like someone trying to keep a wild dog from being put down.    
  
“I will.” There was something oddly… uplifting. Who knows. Maybe if he took responsibility for Hojo, the man might become more useful or productive. Or better… deeply indebted to Cloud…

Nudging that thought to the back of his mind, the swordsman stepped forward. “So, you have one of his books? Do you still have it?”

“Yes.” Nanaki stated, turning and walking towards the steps leading up to the planetarium library. “Reeve has explained to me that you are collecting the books for both himself and Rufus ShinRa. While it seems concerning that these books exist in such remote places, I believe that it would be wiser not to allow for them to fall into improper hands. I am glad that you are not the only one working on this task, Cloud.”

Cloud nodded, following the wise creature that was… remarkably young despite his air of civil scholarly tone. “I’m sorry I missed you at the wedding and the party after… I wasn’t feeling so good.”

“I noticed. However, I left early. Alcohol tends to make a variety of scents stronger, and I wished to return before nightfall.” Nanaki stated, though he peered up to Cloud with a deeply studious thoughtfulness. “However, you seem a small bit better. Perhaps you needed a trip out of Edge.”   
  
“I hope so, Nanaki. I hope so.”

“At the very least, you can leave the book with the person sent here to collect it so you can continue for the rest.”

“The person?” Cloud repeated as they approached the door, and the great beast of a creature gently nudged the door.

“Why… yes. He is from Avalanche. Reeve must have sent him.”

Within the room a man sat politely, smiling softly despite the drab greyish green attire that looked familiar, something Cloud had seen from time to time on people in sector Seven, but he never actually met them. Something Barret said about Cloud being too much of a greedy merc to have a chance to meet them.

The man was handsome in a scholarly manner, and his smile was pleasant. But there was a cold calculating edge under it, and as he adjusted his glasses to look to Cloud, his smile faltered briefly, then grew to an eerie degree. Almost like a gently held ecstatic look.

“Cloud, may I introduce you to my guest. He is helping to verify the authenticity of the book… but now that you have found...gngh!” The leonine creature tensed, ears flicking back as he snapped a look to Cloud who was stepping on his tail. Lightly. But on his tail. And staring to Fuhito with an intensity that the warrior’s companion well read. Clearing his voice as Cloud eased off and stepped forward, he watched between the two. “Have you two met before?”

“No, but it is a great honour.” Clothing rustled, leather sighed as the man stood and slipped the book into his pocket. “Cloud Strife… Hero of the world, and the most renown name of Avalanche. How I have dreamed of meeting you.”

“I’m not Avalanche.” Cloud remarked flatly. “I’m just a mercenary who did a job. Anything else you hear is false advertising.” He held out his gloved hand, however. “I think you have something that belongs to us.”

“Oh, do you mean this?”

Withdrawing the journal from his pocket, a cover Cloud would recognize, the man held it out for him to take, but once the swordsman gripped the book, he tugged the SOLDIER enhanced mercenary with surprising strength, slipping an arm around Cloud’s waist as he teased the shell of his prey’s ear with his lips in a sensual whisper. “00… Have you found him, yet?” And leaning back, the predatory fellow watched Cloud’s face, delighting in the sudden look of alarm, recognition, longing, and desire. Oh? THIS was interesting. “You are magnificent… one of HIS truly great creations. So deadly, yet so angelic. You WANT to find the progenitor of Sephiroth, the prototype. You NEED to find 00 do you not?” 

Cloud’s breath came shorter, because every word was calculated to strike him and stroke him in the perfect ways, arousing something he was trying to bury and deny, but it was like this man practically FED those Whispers. And this man… thought he was a wonderful thing… or rather, HOJO’s wonderful creation. He recognized the tie Cloud and the unknown man, 00, had. He saw it, and wanted to bring them together as a complete pair. “Who is he?” Finally, those words escaped Cloud with an ardent desperation, faintly quavering as he grasped this man’s clothes, pulling their bodies tighter as he pulled the book held in the other’s hand to pull the man’s body and press their hips together a line of heat that practically melded their bodies.   
  
“I do not know. Join me, and you will find him. Then… he can become yours.” Such temptation, his body, his mind craved for these things, and Cloud’s hearing was gradually filled with a dull thrumming that was growing louder by the second.  
  
“Cloud...” The growl was heard from behind, the soft jingling of chimes. But he couldn’t hear over the pounding in his ears growing stronger, his heart hammering in his chest as his lips parted.  
  
“STRIFE! WHISPERS!”

Suddenly, he felt a yank on the book from behind and the tickle of whiskers and soft furred lips as Nanaki wrenched the book out from their grips from behind, and that voice snapped through his senses.   
  
It also seemed to catch the man by surprise, and suddenly a loud bang rang out, making that body jerk, a sting grazing his own waist in a rush of pain and reality. The other man turned around to stare out of the open door, gun drawn, but no return fire was made. He hardly seemed concerned that blood was blossoming in the bullet wound sheared through the underside of his ribs, holding a priceless look of shock as he stared to the chopper hovering near the landing outside the library. Nanaki was already racing towards it with the journal in his jaws, making a grand leap into the opening easily with a majestic grace, but there, half hanging out of the passenger side was Hojo, smoking gun held steadied against his propped up boot on the frame, and staring with a keen intensity towards the man who seemed to be held in a look of raw thunderstruck disbelief.

“Is… it…. Could… it be...”   
  
“C’mon, Cloud!” Cait Sith called, beckoning him with eager white gloved hands, and that bolstered the SOLDIER to action, racing towards the chopper and leapt with inhuman power, grabbing the landing skid. Muscles stood taut on his arms as he pulled himself up to the opening helped with tugs and pulls by gentle carnivore jaws. The most haunting thing, though, as he turned to look back while Reno guided the chopper away… was the look of utter euphoria upon Fuhito’s face, blood staining the material from his wound as he did not fire a single shot, only holding a hand out as if he could grasp something he desired so deeply with a jubilant reverence.   
  
“Doc, your fanboy is creepy.” Reno remarked with a shudder.

“I am well aware of that.” Hojo groaned as he placed the headset upon Cloud after holstering his gun, looking towards the still somewhat perplexed blonde. “That was Fuhito… the true leader of Avalanche.”   
  
The young swordsman was looking somewhat green around the gills as he shifted to sit, and then looked down to his side. Oh, what bothered him was not the gunshot. That surprised him, yes, but it was a graze and merely a little sting. No. The fact he almost AGREED to go with the man. How easily Fuhito used words to utterly twist his desires, and now he was absolutely certain he had a problem. After settling a careful sound muffling rig around Nanaki’s ears, Cait Sith walked up to pat his knee, holding the book to his chest with his other arm.

“Glad ta have ya back with us, Cloud.”

“Thanks.”

“Kitten, may I have my book?” Hojo requested politely, holding his hand out for the journal, and said animatronic feline looked hesitant, dubious… then set it into the long agile fingers. “Thank you.”

And then he proceeded to swat Cloud upside the head with it.

“Idiot! That was for listening to that deluded fool and nearly falling for his honeyed words!”

“Ow!” Cloud yelped, rubbing his head.

Nanaki merely watched. True, he felt that he should have interfered with the dangerous scientist, but more than that, he felt it was well needed on Cloud’s part. To be honest, he was quite worried considering what he observed between Fuhito and Cloud… what he smelled. Arousal. But more than that… he was deeply wounded by the fact that he was the one to put Cloud into that predicament. He was the one who let the viper into his den. What he found most fascinating, though, was what he was reading in the scientist’s body language as he chastised and fussed at Cloud. Concern. That was… unexpected. Flicking his ear, he watched, lowering his head upon his paws. The specimen was studying the scientist.

***   
  


“Gimme one good reason why I should haul your ShinRa piece of crap?” Barked the gruff blonde, cigarette dangling from his lips, hands on his hips, eyeing the red headed Turk grimly.

“‘Cause it’ll help cut back on side trips for your cruise liner, yo.” Reno bantered back with a cheeky grin.

“Now, ladies, you’re both pretty.” Reeve interjected, petting Cait Sith in his arms.

“Can it, Mom.” Cid remarked, but he pointed out for the loading crew to bring in the luggage for the occupants. He wasn’t going to deny them passage, but he wouldn’t pass up a chance to bust the Turk’s balls. The banter was too good, and the slum born ginger gave as good as he took.

“Now, that’s not nice...” Reeve tried to interject.

“Sure as hell not callin’ ya Dad...” Cid groused back.   
  
”The DILF title’s already takeOW!” Reno yelped as a passing man carrying a box elbowed him in the ribs, making his vision dance in pain.

“Whoops.”

“Hey… that’s not one of my guys...”

“He’s ours.” Reno ruefully remarked, rubbing his ribs. “That’s it, pack mule! Haul those boxes!” He called out, smirking. Oh, he was going to get hell, but it was worth it. He paused, looking to Cloud who was looking somber… ALMOST geostigma level drab and gloomy. Not good.

“Eh, looks like we got another grey Cloud.” The captain huffed, watching how Cloud was trudging along with his chocobo bags.

“Why don’t you ask him what has his panties in a twist, yo. That’ll get a lively reaction.”

“Are ya kiddin’? I’ve seen his inventory! Kid’s got more than panties in there.” With the laugh from the Turk, he then looked to the Turk’s ‘hired help’. “Who’s that guy anyhow?”

“Eh. Well, I could tell ya, but I don’t think you’ll believe me. So, when’s the meeting?”

“‘Bout thirty minutes, pretty much after we get your dirty bird loaded and take to the air. Your guy can bunk with you.”

“Maybe he can bunk with Blondie.” Reno suggested, offering something of a wry smirk to Cid who gave him a blink, a double look, then made an O with his lips, cigarette nearly falling out.    
  
“Oh… I get it, now. Huh. Kid doesn’t seem too lovey dovey.”

“Wanna bet? Thirty gil he blushes and agrees, Airdog.”

“Yer on, Firecrotch.” 

“YO, Kid! Spike!” As Cloud’s head perked up. “You’n yer boyfriend are sharin’ the same room. Try not to break the fuckin’ bunks. Meetin’s in thirty!” Much to his vast shock, Cloud blinked, looking quite surprised, shifted a glance immediately to the dark haired man in the dungarees and cap, and flustered and nodded with a wave back, his blush even seen from that distance.

“Sunnuva bitch. Ya got it.” Cid remarked in bewilderment, fishing in his pocket and peeled off a few ten gil from a wad before plopping them into Reno’s hand.   
  
“Pleasure doin’ business, yo.”

***

  
  
“Stay here, don’t go anywhere. At least until I can do some damage control...”

“I solemnly swear not to break either my bunk or your bunk, Mr Strife.” Hojo remarked with a wry smirk. He found this too damned funny for his own good. Still, his hands were gentle and steady as they worked on stitching the wound.

“Gaia...I can’t believe Cid said that...” Cloud groaned before hissing a breath. Then glanced down, seeing the neatly stitched line along his waist. “I don’t get it… why can’t we just use a materia? Or potion?” 

“Because that will stunt your immune system. Relying upon instant healing for everything can be more harmful than good.Your body will become accustomed to it and its own capabilities will become hampered. After all, you have an enhanced regenerative system, let it do its job.You will not even scar.” Cloud yelped as the sealing bandage was slapped over it, making him damned near jump off the bunk, and every muscle visible on his bared torso twitched and quivered. “Also, a reminder of what almost happened. Let pain be your teacher.”

“You have a terrible bedside manner!” Cloud groused as the man began tidying up the first aid tools.    
  
“Would you rather an ineffective quack with pleasant bedside manners?”

“No.” 

“You are welcome, then.”   
  
“Hojo...” Cloud began slowly, looking to the man who then laid himself out on the bunk, hands folded and tucked behind his head as he stared up to the ceiling.

“That is who I am, yes.”   
  
“I’m serious here!” Cloud snapped back, turning to glare halfheartedly at the man who simply gave him a cheeky grin back.   
  
“Yes, but you have not said anything yet.”

A low exhale escaped Cloud before he finally continued.

“This is awkward. I… you said you hear the whispers, right? And you get those urges? And earlier, on the table… you were… ah...”

“Aroused?”

Cloud groaned as he nodded, annoyed with how frustratingly pragmatic the man was. Yes, it made it easier to discuss it, but damnit, it made Cloud feel like a fool for being so embarrassed.

“Yeah. That. Do you get… urges like that from...” He fluttered his hands. “...the Whispers? Just, suddenly, really NEEDING or wanting to do something...ah...”

“Monumentally vulgar and hedonistic?” Hojo asked calmly, though that playful jesting edge had ebbed, and he watched Cloud. All the younger man could do was nod, looking exceedingly frustrated, damned near in tears. And confused.

“Sometimes I don’t feel like it’s me. And if I slip… it feels so good. But I hate myself the next morning.”

Drawing a deep breath, Hojo exhaled it, those luminous green eyes seeming to search the bunk above him as if it held a textbook answer.

“You are contending with psychological and physical issues, Mr. Strife. Perfectly normal. Your body has needs. Even more so due to the enhancements. With what you are, you have an innate hardwired drive to combat or procreate.” He paused, then looked to Cloud who seemed to be looking a tad lost. “I believe the more pedestrian phrase is ‘fight or fuck’.” And then an odd sound escaped the blonde, an almost hiccuped sound the mercenary tried to hide behind his hand. A laugh. “Is it really that novel a concept to you?”

“No...excuse me… I just… hearing you drop an f-bomb is so strange. You’re always so professional sounding. Go on.

“So...” Hojo continued, picking his words carefully. “...while you are used to such combat rushes, especially with recent events, it creates that sensation, a high of endorphins if you will. However, in more peaceful times, it will put your body and mind into a state needing to achieve either of these conditions. Perhaps you become more agitated, or you hold more carnal cravings. It is natural for SOLDIERs, and it is natural for you. If you cannot have a fight, your body will seek sexual gratification. Except you appear to be a rather solitary individual.”

“I just don’t want to hurt anyone. My strength scares me sometimes. And I might lose control...” Cloud sighed. It was making sense… somewhat. Some of it was going over his head. Finally Hojo paused, staring at Cloud before he exhaled slowly and tried to simplify it.    
  
“Your body has needs. You neglect them. Jenova uses these to control you. It feels good because your body needs it. Honestly, if you were not so repressed, I think it would make strides towards your mental health.”

“Hojo… do you have... needs?”

A dark brow raised slightly as that captured Hojo’s full attention.    
  
“I am human. I am a man. It is normal.”

“I mean do you have it like… I do. I mean, you have to take the injections for the whispers, and you have some Mako exposure, so I was wondering.” Honestly, discussing this man’s sex life was NOT what Cloud needed to know, but damnit, he needed to know SOMETHING helpful. And psycho-biological theories really weren’t helping.

“I do. I simply handle it myself. Just consider what is pleasurable to do and do it. What stimulates you physically and mentally in a way that is NOT whispers. Something that makes your pulse quicken, fills you with delight.” Hojo explained slowly, watching Cloud as if he was expecting a small animal to flee.    
  
Except, the petite mercenary was peering towards him with a keen intensity, seeming to be solving something within his mind as he weighed a few matters. “I can think of one thing I noticed.” 

“And that is?”

Suddenly the enhanced fighter was on top of the taller man, strong hands gripping Hojo’s shirt as he slotted his hips between the other man’s thighs. Oh, the older man seemed to be caught in a moment of befuddlement as he began to buck and squirm, arching to try to wriggle free.    
  
“Mr. Strife! This is not appropriate...” Hojo began to protest, flustering furiously as he tried to regain SOME control of the situation, but Cloud was savouring it as he delved into WHY he had enjoyed having Hojo in this position that morning. The power. The control. Of this man. It was a reversing of the table, and what was even more amusing, was how he felt Hojo responding with the man’s heart racing rapidly like prey caught in a predator’s jaws.   
  
“This morning when I had you on the table… I found it so damned enjoyable. You make people shake and squirm, but I think it’s better when YOU do it.” And then, to test his theory, Cloud rolled his hips in a slow grind, and THERE! He could feel it. A tell tale hardness, and despite himself, a low groan escaped the scientist as the contact made a rather delicious shudder race through the man upon the bunk below him. It made Cloud’s instincts flare in interest and delight.   
  
“Gaia… Strife....”

“Cloud.” The blonde delighted as he whispered the word, correcting the man… making Hojo do what HE wanted. Suddenly, all those haunting memories were beginning to fade away, being replaced by the feel of that man’s body below him. Those ghosts of the past were merely that. Ghosts. Right now, he held something that was very real, and something that his strength contained.

“Cloud...” Hojo moaned that name as the blonde trailed his hands up along the scientist’s arms to gather them, wrapping the sleep restraint straps to tether them above Hojo’s head, binding those deft hands that had torn his body apart and reworked it. They were HIS to control, to decide the fate of. And all Hojo could do was beg and squirm. Arching and giving slight bucks of his own.

“Too… hard...” Oh, that was unexpected, and Cloud felt a flutter of heated pleasure, the movements and gasped groaned words making his blood surge with arousal. “Off….get… off...”

“Oh, not so fast, Hojo. You don’t give the orders here…” It was a delicious wild ride for Cloud. He felt marvellous, free, as if he was declawing every demon in his past as Hojo arched under him, thighs squirming and writhing around Cloud’s hips, and it was ever so intoxicating.

“Cloud...” Hojo begged… BEGGED. His name was cooed, a desperate low tone, and the blonde leaned in closer, lapping the desperate salt of sweat from the pale skin of that vulnerable throat.    
  
“Again…” He wanted to hear it, and the older man’s voice was a faint quaver that made his hips roll with a faster rustle of leather against denim.   
  
“...Cloud...” He could grow addicted to that sound, and as he leaned in closer, suddenly that body beneath him twisted, and he felt an abrupt sting of pain against his neck as he felt teeth clamp down, a growl vibrating against his skin.    
  
Suddenly, the mercenary yelped, spine snapping hard into an arch as Cloud came unexpectedly from the burst of pain injected into his high, and he rolled his hips to prolong his release in his frottage, soft lips parted as his eyes fluttered.

“If you are going to tie me up, take my damned gun off! It is digging into my spine.” Hojo snapped, and the blonde could only give a low moan because, by the Planet, that experience just then was strange but amazing. And, on hindsight, more than a little disturbing. But in that moment, he enjoyed that feeling, that body beneath him… so REAL compared to his whisper and illusion induced dreams and self molestations.   
  
Finally, he shifted slightly, reaching under Hojo to root around, and there… in the small of the older man’s back was that sleek firearm tucked into the holster on his belt. Withdrawing it, he sat back admiring the matte black finish on crisp daunting lines and looked down to the man that sagged back with a low moan of relief that was damned near pornographic. Hojo’s cock, still throbbing and sensitive, trapped still, visibly twitched. Oh, Gaia.

“I like those sounds from you. Not the scary demon anymore...are you...” He trailed that firearm, watching those bright green eyes widen, breaths catching quicker as he drew the gun barrel to pull along his collar bone to trail over the scientist’s chest. This was dangerous, but he could feel how the other man’s denim contained tent of arousal throbbed, and he found it delicious. Oh, just a few minutes… and more fun would be had.   
  
“I think you like this...” The pink tongue darted out, teasing over those plush pouty lips as the angel faced blonde watched the man slowly come apart in pleasure and alarm, belly heaving with breaths growing more rapid as he moved the firearm in a sensual trail down towards that form straining the denim, and ran it over it with teasing rubs until he saw the wet darkening spot of pre. 

“DAMMIT KID, MEETIN’S STARTED!!!” The door opened with a sudden bang that made both of the bodies on the bunk jump, and a loud disturbing CLICK sounded in the room as Cloud’s hands inadvertently jerked with the firearm. Heart hammering in his chest, Hojo was never more grateful for a safety than he was in that moment. He stared up to Cloud’s eyes, and for a moment, those blue eyes bore a green tinge, pupils slightly slitted, but then the young man blinked and they were the usual glowing blues. The gun was immediately dropped as Cid took one look and darted in with a growl to grab Cloud by the back of his shirt to drag him out. “Fuckin’ hell, Kid, what’re ya drinking in your goddamn tea? Couldn’t it wait until AFTER the meeting? You can play ‘Turks and Rebels’ with your boytoy later, c’mon.”   
  
Cloud stumbled after Cid, words flustering as his heart fluttered, but something made him pause, looking into the room to the man on the bed, those blazing green eyes practically boring into his soul.

“When you come back, Cloud, I am going to make you BEG for mercy.”   
  
Gently closing the door, the uneasy warrior walked after Cid, suddenly rethinking his life choices. He’d have untied Hojo, but the world saviour frankly feared for his life. The walk back to the meeting room was, needless to say, awkward.

“That’s… uh… one helluva catch, there, Kid. Sounds like yer gonna catch hell when ya get back.”

“You have no idea.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AUTHOR’S NOTES: The General stuff  
> 1\. DISCLAIMER: Final Fantasy VII, the setting, and the characters therein are property of Square-Enix, created by an amazing team, and inspired a good many people. I do not own any of the characters or setting, but I am playing in the world with a fan’s love. If you haven’t bought the FFVIIR remake, go out and get it! A fantastic adventure. Also, that soundtrack is glorious.
> 
> 2\. CHAPTER QUOTES: What writer doesn’t love using inspirational quotes, and there are the usual ones people go to… songs, Shakespear, famous writers and scientists. I decided to go full challenge and use James T Kirk quotes. Why? For one thing, I wanted a creative challenge. And the other...as campy as the character may be, there are some inspirational yet human quotes. Well, with what I have planned, it works well!
> 
> 3\. TRIGGERS: Every. Word. Is. A. Potential. Trigger. Literature is a den of dangers. If you are a blooming flower not ready to handle a literary storm that can grow hot and thrilling, you might want to either buckle in for a wild ride, or find a milder fic. Any trigger complaints will be forwarded to the HR department of ACME Writers LLC as trigger complaints are above my paygrade. I just work here as a writer.
> 
> 4\. LEVELS OF SPICE: So people have an idea what to expect, I have levels of intensity, or ‘spicy’ as I call it. Starting with Mild, Medium, Hot… and going from there, the reader can have an idea what to expect without me giving away everything that’s happening in the header note. Check the tags, because they get updated with every chapter.
> 
> 5\. SOMEWHAT AU: Somewhat AU because I add to the lore (what’s fanfiction without crack pairings) and adjust it here and there intentionally, but all in all, it’s the world of the Compilation. But if something seems out of place, it’s intentional, most likely. I’d been into FFVII since the first release. Also, keep the ‘But in Remake it’s...’ badgering to a minimum.
> 
> 6\. HOJO: Here’s what I know some of you are here for (he does have his fans), and I hope you will be in for a surprise. This is a character I intend to represent in a deeper manner, different than the ‘evil cackling mad scientist just because evil and mad’. I like to think of cause and effect, and I do enjoy exploring the grey zones. Hence the title, Phantasma...the reality of what people think and what actually is can both be true. 
> 
> 7\. FEEDBACK: I am always grateful for readers, and any feedback is loved more than you can imagine! This story line is one I have been nursing for a while, tinkered with and discussed with other people, played in RP, but I want to share it with many people! Speculations are always welcome, and I like to hear how things struck people. Also, since I don’t have a Beta, pardon any oopses.
> 
> 8\. ARTISTS: Are loved and adored! If this inspires you, you have my blessing. I will make links to any art you share and give love and credits!
> 
> AUTHOR’S NOTES: The Chapter Stuff  
> 1\. NEW CHAPTER: Action, steam, CID CURSING. What isn’t there to like?
> 
> 2\. CLOUD/HOJO: I’ve never seen a story where Cloud was the willing one. Surprise! In this incident, I decided to flip the cards around and make it the other way around. Admittedly, this was more dubious consent mainly because the majority of Hojo’s protests were as a result of the discomfort of the gun.
> 
> 3\. FUHITO: He’s more than a little unsettling. He’s not even mad the man he idolized shot him. He nearly had another book, too.
> 
> 4\. CID: Yeah, going to have to put a major profanity warning. Love the guy.


	9. Peace Or Utter Destruction

Chapter 9: Peace or Utter Destruction   
  


“Peace or…UTTER DESTRUCTION…it’s up to you.” - James T. Kirk    
(TOS: A taste of Armageddon)

***

_ Generic All Purpose Trigger Warning _ .  _ Check the tags. _   
**_Chapter Level: MED- Unabashed dirty language and references_ **

_ *** _

“Yo, Spike! Thought you weren’t comin’.” Barret groused from the table, chair creaking under his bulk as he turned to eye their group leader.

“I came.” Cloud replied flatly, and he cast a sharp glance askance to the pilot who snorted before he sipped his tea.

“Damn right he did.”

“Gaia, Cid, not now.” The sunny hair was ruffled ruefully as Cloud dropped into his seat with a grimace. Oh, yeah. He kind of wished he hadn’t. He felt good, kind of mellowed… but there was a cooling slick mess in his pants congealing, and if there wasn’t a greater hell than spunk shorts, he’d never know. Yet, he tried to play it off cool. And no one noticed. Well, ALMOST.

Nanaki only gave Cloud a rather long look before he hopped up to the seat specially crafted for him. “Now we have almost everyone here, I believe we can begin.”

“Who are we missing?” The voice came from Rufus, visible on the conference screen on the wall.

“That would be Vincent… who is out on a job as you know, Tifa, who is away on leave with Rude, and the rest of your Turks.” Reeve offered, and the blonde executive sat calmly, fingers laced before him on his desk.

“I’m here, Boss!” Reno called out as he plopped into the seat beside Cloud with a playful grin and a wink. “Everythin’s golden, yo.”

“And Yuffie’s on her way.” Cid stated as he took his chair, hitching his elbow on the back. “I can catch her up. So, mind tellin’ me what we’re dealin’ with here, Prez? More Sephiroth spawns? Secret underground mutant organization? Gold Loot Crate scheme at Gold Saucer? Giant world wreckin’ monster? Another eyeball tittied space cun-”

“Avalanche.” Rufus stated flatly. And that was what launched the bitter argument. Barret was, of course, one of the loudest voices, but there was a lot of crossfire between the majority of the people involved and Reeve was at his wits end trying to prevent another war from breaking out.

Reno just sat back in his chair, speaking discretely to Cloud in a low undertone as he propped his feet up on the table. 

“So… I take it ya got the Doc in?”

“Yeah, no thanks to YOU!” The blonde snipped back, watching the painful sight of people trying to explain varied viewpoints and a rather convoluted historical context of Avalanche and ShinRa.   
  
“Hey, you should thank me for getting the Captain to get him bunked with you instead of locked in the brig.” But there was no mistaking that slight pinking of the soft cheeks, and he leaned closer, eyebrows popping high. “Blondie… where is he?”

“I left him in the room.” At the intense look, he reluctantly added. “Tied to the bed.”

“HOLY SHIT!” That explosion that escaped Reno earned a sharp look from everyone involved and a sharper look from Rufus. “Uh, forgot my lighter in the chopper. Don’t mind me.”   
  
Of course, as the debate happily ensued and he was forgotten, the Turk leaned in closer to Cloud to hiss a low question. “WHY?!” And for a moment, Cloud looked like he was about to stand, but Reno grabbed his arm to pull him back down. “Oh no ya don’t. WHAT did you do?“

“I...” Cloud coughed slightly. “...may have been touching him to make him squirm.”

Lagoon blue eyes blinked as the redhead stared, processing this. “Oh my shit.” He leaned closer, grabbing Cloud’s shoulder to keep their words more furtive. “You molested HIM?”

“I...ah….yeah.” Cloud’s shoulders sank slightly.    
  
“Blondie, you have a brass pair to do that to him. I mean, did you just poke him….or...” But with Cloud’s look Reno sucked in a breath. “You didn’t.”

“I did.”

“He’s still tied.”

“Yeah. Cid kind of barged in and hauled me away for the meeting.”

“So...you left possibly one of the most vengeful AND creative people in the history of the world tied up on your rack...AFTER you molested him?”

“I actually did it while he was tied, but yeah.”   
  
“Well, did you at least make him more comfortable?”

“I took his gun out of his holster. His...ah, REAL gun.”

“Well, I hope ya didn’t leave him there with his ‘other gun’ half cocked, yo.”

“Well… not HALF cocked.” Reno looked absolutely mortified.

“Whole hard?” At the bob of a nod of Cloud’s head Reno yelped. “Are you fuckin’ nuts?! Ya NEVER do that to a guy!!! At least not without a safe word!”

Suddenly, there was a peaceful pause from the violently loud arguing, and slowly Cloud and Reno raised their eyes to see every pair once more trained upon them. Curiosity, annoyance, mild amusement on Cid’s part, and Cloud began to sink in his chair slightly before Reno grabbed his shoulder to haul him back up because Rufus has the positively most interesting twitch going on with his eyebrow.

“Pardon me for asking this, Reno...” Oh, the Turk positively shivered as he heard that dangerous purr to his employer’s voice. “...but is our discussion interrupting you?”

“No. Boss...but, we might want to wrap things up as quickly as possible. I think Cloud left the gas on.”

“I’ll say he fuckin’ did.” Cid remarked with a chuckle, clicking a light to the cigarette dangling between his lips. Nanaki simply flicked his tail as he watched the pair. He seemed almost… smugly amused. He can enjoy a little karma. But he mercifully spoke up as the voice of reason.

“I propose… we bring this matter to a vote, then. All in favour of maintaining associations with Avalanche say aye?”

“AYE!” Barret spoke up but glowered around the table when no one else chimed in. “You’re just gettin’ suckered in by these slick ShinRa bastards!”

“Barret...”Cloud finally spoke. “I met the guy in charge of Avalanche. Fuhito.”

“Naw, man. He’s been dead with old Avalanche… I keep sayin’...”

“Barret, the man wanted me to join his group and I got those… unsettling vibes from him. Like Sephiroth. I know when a person’s trying to pull my strings. He’s one of those. And he wants to kill everyone. Including Marlene.”

“Despite our disagreements, Mr. Wallace. I am more than willing to provide protection for your daughter.” Rufus intoned calmly. “My interest in preserving the lives of people is genuine. With everything that has happened with Sephiroth, the Remnants, Geostigma, and Deepground I have been considerably humbled about the worth of human life.”

“Boss is telling it straight, yo.” Reno chimed up, and when eyes turned to Cloud, ever their leader, he gave a nod of his own.

“He’s right, Barret. Fuhito is dangerous, and Avalanche is very dangerous. Just look at what happened in Cosmo Canyon just now. People won’t know friend from foe.” 

“As it is, there’s a mass of ex SOLDIER disappearances.” Reeve spoke up, and eyes from around the table turned to him. “Not another Reunion...”

“Thank, fuckin’ Gaia.” Cid grunted. 

“But other people as well that have survived Mako exposure are going missing.” Reeve supplied.

“The Ravens, yo.” Reno grimaced, crossing his arms, and Rufus even looked decidedly uncomfortable. 

“The hell are Ravens?” Barret asked.

“Avalanche’s variations of SOLDIERS. Some made from scratch, some made from preexisting SOLDIERs. They lose all free will and they mutate most of the time. Damned heartbreaking to see.” Reno answered, looking unusually somber. “They killed a lot of civvies, Turks, and SOLDIERs. Anythin’ was fair game.”

“Fuhito...” Cloud continued, picking up from what he’d learned recently. “...made them.” He looked to Rufus, and when the exec nodded, Cloud continued. “... he idolized Hojo to the point of kidnapping him and that’s what’s bringing us to the issue as big as Avalanche.”

With a glance to the large man sitting sullenly, but listening in the chair, Cloud drew a deep breath and stood placing his hands on the table. “Hojo never supplied ShinRa with his real notes on his early experiments on making enhanced humans and the Sephiroth project.“

“What? I thought that info was what made General Sephiroth flip his shit in the first place.” Cid pointed out, flicking his ash into a tray nearby.   
  
“The professor created false copies to file and concealed the original books in order to protect his work. Apparently any attempts to replicate the Sephiroth project or create enhanced SOLDIERs ended in degradation and either mutation or death. Hojo’s SOLDIERs were far more sturdier, though they became susceptible to the Reunion sickness and Geostigma.” Reeve replied.

“Huh, that’s one hell of a way to have job security.” Cid remarked and Reno gave a snort of amusement.

“So, there’s books this wack job hid?” Barret finally asked, seeming to draw back into their conversation.

“All over the map essentially. So it has become one large scavenger hunt. And not merely for books. Videos and photos, too. President Rufus and I have been pooling our resources to track the materials down.” Reeve supplied with a look of concern.

“The problem is, we don’t know how many there are. And we are in a race against Fuhito. Because imagine what happens if HE gets ahold of the professor’s blueprints for the Sephiroth project.” Rufus supplied with a look of grim concern.

“Sweet Shiva’s tits.” Cid breathed.

“Save that comment. It gets worse.” Cloud muttered.

“These records focus upon the prototype specimen for the projects, a man only known as ‘00’, his specimen designation number. According to the material we have gathered, he was the one who fathered Sephiroth.” Rufus continued.

This brought a sudden jerk of attention all around the table.

“And he’s still alive.” Cloud breathed the words before realizing.

“How do you know that?” The question from Rufus drew a slight shift from Cloud.    
  
“Part of the info Blondie dug up, Boss. No idea who it is, though. But, yeah, gotta make sure the notes don’t end up with Fuhito… same with this 00. Finding a guy, though, that’s a needle in a haystack.” Reno chimed in. He paused, then looked to Rufus.   
  
“Well, There’s a tattoo on 00… kind of a...uh… lower back tattoo with his number and a barcode.” Cloud supplied, trying his damned best to look professional. But, DAMN. That memory made colour rise to his cheeks. 

“Kinda wonder about Vinny.” Cid stated with brows slightly furrowed.   
  
“Yes, that would be the most logical possibility.” Nanaki hummed his thought.

“Oh, it ain’t him.” Reno chimed in with a crafty smirk. “He’s got markings, but a tramp stamp… nah.”

“Reno...” Rufus began, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Shower, Boss.”

“MOVING along. Finding a man with a tattoo is still trying to find a needle in a haystack. Just a shinier needle.” The ShinRa exec continued.

“We could always travel across the land stripping guys, yo.” Reno remarked.

“I would rather we didn’t.” Reeve sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose and mirroring Rufus’ position. 

“Yeah, but here’s the real fuckin’ question.” Cid grunted as he exhaled a plume of smoke. ”How many of these books or tapes, or whatever do we have, how many does that Fuhito guy have, and how many total are there?”

“Precisely twenty-six in total: fourteen diaries, seven sets of photographs, and five video recordings.” The figure replied from the entryway, head bowed slightly so the bill of the cap was dipped lower to cast a sharp shadow over the features.

“Hey, what’s up guys! Sorry I’m late! Heard this guy in Cloud’s room and hooo, boy, Cloud, I’d hate to be you right now.” Yuffie laughed as she darted around the fellow in the doorway. “It’s not nice to tie up a guy and run off like that… I mean, unless that’s what you’re into, but your knotwork is REALLY sloppy and the guy was swearing in Wutian...”

“Cloud, I suggest ya run.” Reno cleared his throat, speaking up finally. 

“And what are YOU going to do? Buy me time?” The rather flushed but alarmed looking blonde didn’t dare look away from the man standing in the doorway.

“Pray to Aerith you survive.”

“Hey, Reeve, you ok? You look like you’re about to have a heart attack...” Yuffie bounded closer to peer to the head of the WRO who was not looking so good at that moment. 

“Dear Aerith, in the Lifestream above, protect Cloud because he’s a dumbass and doesn’t know what he’s doin’, yo...ow!” Reno winced as he found a kick to the shin from said ‘dumbass’.

“Y’know… brat. We’re in the air already.” The Captain pointed out to Yuffie.

“Oh, I know that.” Said brat stated.

“How come you’re not turnin’ my poop deck into a puke deck?” Cid shifted a shrewd look to the Ninja.

“Cloud’s uke gave me some ginger candy. It actually helps.”

Reno snorted into his hand, coughing slightly before he glanced around to the confused looking people… well, except for said man who was moving closer to Cloud’s chair to stand ominously behind it.

“His… what?” Reeve, in his poor innocence, inquired.

“Means ‘bottom bunk’, yo.”

“What ya talkin’ about fool?” Barret growled, growing more irritated because very little was making sense, and Rufus looked like he was damned near about to go into a mild panic.

“Well, a ‘seme’ is the tough sexy top guy, and the ‘uke’ is his cute little bottom bitch.” Yuffie supplied helpfully, as she poured a glass of water to carry it to Reeve.    
  
“Y’all Wutians are fuckin’ weird.” Barret groused, not having the energy to handle the girl… no...young woman’s… absurdity.   
  
“I mean, with Cloud and that angel face of his you’d think it’d be the other way around, but I guess he’s got some balls on him.”

“Oh, yes. He does.” Long fingers settled to knead Cloud’s shoulders, and it would have felt good, except the scientist leaned close to murmur low against Cloud’s ear. “I am about to make you regret that little stunt you pulled.”

“Awww, aren’t they cute together?”

“Yeah. Freakin’ adorable. What I’d like to know, is who the hell are ya anyhow, Pal?” Cid asked, eyeing the very odd interaction of the two.

“Professor Hojo.” The hat was removed, letting the dark hair fall free in a dark spill over his shoulders, and for that brief moment, he basked in the silence and confusion that settled in the room.

“Behemothshit.” Cid snorted.

“No… he’s, right.” Cloud remarked, pretty much held in place by those hands on his shoulder. Reno was right. He should have run.

“Like, Junior? His son?” Cid hazarded, but as Reeve shook his head, the gruff blonde gave a guffaw. “Can’t be! He’s, what… pushin’ 80, right?”

“I am not that old...” Said professor attempted to clarify, but as that pilot squinted at the man who looked like what HE remembered in his time working with ShinRa many moons back, it was… strange.   
  
“Yeah, but you sure as fuckin’ hell ain’t this young.”   
  
“Captain, I believe you have a scar on your right temple from a minor accident involving the zero gravity testing simulator for the space project.”

“Holy shit.” The pilot breathed with a slight wheeze. “You’re the real McCoy.”

“HOJO!!!”

And once more, the room erupted into chaos, beginning with Barrett aiming his gun at the man, and ending with Cloud, Cid, and Reeve trying to hold him back and preventing a hail of bullets in a ship travelling amidst the clouds.

“That sunnuva bitch! What he did to Aerith, to Cloud… to-” Suddenly, the large man wobbled and fell over with a heavy thunk that rattled the furniture and shook the floor, followed by snoring.

“Phew! Yuffie to the rescue!” Said materia nabbing ninja proclaimed, grinning as she set her weapon onto her back, the glow of the Sleep spell utilized from the materia fading back into dormancy. “Yeah, maybe in the future meetings, you guys might want to DISARM Big Daddy Barret.”

So many groans rose from the table, along with a “Fuckin’ hell Yuffie...” from the Pilot.

“I believe...” Rufus’ voice finally chimed up, and Reno’s head popped up like a scarlet bird from where he’d ducked under the table, finally letting up the scientist to follow suit. “...that an explanation is in order.”

***

“And that’s why the Professor is here.” Cloud summed up. Interestingly, at some point during the long discussion, the scientist began listing off notes in writing, tapping the pen to his lips now and then as if deciphering something.

“So, yeah… I get WHY he’s here, but not why ya had him tied up in yer bunk like that.” Cid remarked, crossing his arms over his chest. “It’s been...what… a day? Two? This guy scarred yer mind fuckin’ awful for years and was responsible for the things that almost killed us all over the years, and now yer the one wantin’ to keep him around? Ya lost yer fuckin’ marbles, kid?”   
  
“It’s… complex. And he’s not the same. I just...” And he paused. “I hadn’t had any visions of Sephiroth.” The realization came. Oh, he had OTHER issues showing themselves, but he’d managed to go a day, no, TWO without his nemesis cropping up in his thoughts. “I...need him alive to help fix my problems more than I need him dead. And the more I find he’s human… the more the past version of him I remembered seems to fade and it doesn’t make me uneasy. Like I won some sort of battle over a beast.”

“Y’know, for a mad scientist, you’re not very scary.” Yuffie pointed out.

“Oh, he gets plenty scary, yo. You just haven’t seen him with his cheese slipped off his cracker.” Reno pointed out, partially in jest, and warning. Rufus, though, seemed utterly silent, quiet as he observed, that calculating mind scouring through his current observations and old memories. He finally spoke.    
  
“Your ‘retirement’ has seemed to make you more... stable, Professor.”

“Considering how long I have been removed from my prior research, I have had time to work on some personal issues, I suppose. More than that, working on my research for Commissioner Tuesti and practicing among the people of Nibelheim has been… therapeutic. A pleasant change of goals in a low stress environment.”

“Are you sayin’ ya were batshit crazy because of overwork, Doc?” Cid earned a light crafty grin from the scientist who looked up from his paper.

“Well, I did replace myself with a clone to go on vacation and faked my own death, so… perhaps that may have been a contributing factor.”

“Exactly how much PTO did you accrue, Professor?” Reeve inquired out of morbid curiosity.

“What’s PTO? Is that like some kind of STD?” Yuffie chimed in before yelping as Cid swatted her head. 

“Paid Time Off, ya freelance thief! It’s a business thing that means employees have to take vacation time paid for by the business. Ya work so many hours, ya get a day. Like so many hours is a day of PTO. It’s to keep employees from getting sick or losin’ their goddamned marbles. Also an incentive for them to not slack off.”  


“Oh.”

“Yeah. Oh. So out with it, Doc. How much PTO.”

“Ah, let me see. I believe it was about… three years.”   
  
“They owed you for three years worth of work?” Reeve inquired, looking mildly concerned. “I don’t see how that is too bad...”   
  
“No...” Rufus sighed with a low growl of annoyance. “We OWED him over three years total of paid vacation days.”

Cid and Reeve both sat up with matching looks of thunderstruck shock as Reno whistled softly.   
  
“Bahamut’s balls, Doc!”   
  
Yuffie looked clueless, glancing to Nanaki who only gave a small shrug, then she looked to Cloud who seemed to be deeply considering something… prowling through his own tattered memory as a trooper.

“What, I don’t get it.” She supplied.

“What it means, Princess Kiseragi… is that I had broken some rather serious ethics violations over the span of my career.”

“Huh?”

“Means the Professor worked enough hours and got so little sleep that it probably could have killed a saner person. And he never took a vacation.” Cloud supplied finally.   
  
“Well… I did take a vacation...” Hojo began, but Rufus snapped sharp words.   
  
“Getting kidnapped does NOT classify as a vacation.”   
  
“Ah, yes, you would know something about that incident.” The scientist replied offhandedly, and the way Rufus’ eyes narrowed considerably as Reno drew a sharp hissed breath made Cloud tense, wonder what he was missing about the whole situation.

“I propose a question...” Nanaki spoke finally, diverting the topic and attempting to replenish some calm. “What do we do with Professor Hojo? I do have my grievances, however, if he will be useful in repairing or undoing the trouble he has caused, I am willing to consider. Otherwise, is he safe to keep alive?”   
  
“Alliance or death, that’s a pretty extreme pair of choices, Nanaki.” Reeve pointed out.

“It is where I stand. Or sit as the case may be.”   
  
“Should we wake Barret up for this decision, then?” Reeve inquired, looking to the man still slumbering on the floor with soft rumbled snores.   
  
“Eh, I don’t think so.” Yuffie replied, crossing her hands behind her head as she sat back in the seat. “I mean, we can already guess his answer, and we know he has a pretty itchy trigger finger.”   
  
“Gaia dammit, Kid.” Cid groaned, rubbing his hand over his race. “Well, we can’t let the Doc go running amok, but I sure as hell don’t want to kill him if he’s the only one with answers… and if he’s the only one who can get Cloud better.”   
  
“Cloud did swear to me that he would be responsible for Professor Hojo.” Nanaki replied calmly. “He holds this promise, then I will agree to it.”   
  
When all of the eyes around the table turned to him, Cloud shifted slightly in his seat, slinking slightly and winced. Ugh. THAT was still in his shorts. Hojo only shot him an amused look, raising a dark brow.   
  
“I did. I guess if anyone should keep an eye on him, it should be me. I’m willing to take responsibility for him. And I need him to fix my condition. Since Fuhito’s the closest person to know anything about how I was modified… I’d honestly like to stick with Hojo.”

“Kid, when ya take responsibility, ya take it with both hands, dontcha.” The Pilot sat forward and stubbed his cigarette out even as the blonde seemed to flush with a look of mortification. “Aw, fuckit. If the kid can handle him… and from what I saw, he REALLY could handle him… then I’ll say fuckit. Hojo stays as Cloud’s problem. It’ll save me on gas and headaches if the Doc can tell us where everything is in this wild chocobo chase.”   
  
“I would make the fourth in favor.” Reeve finally stated “I believe his skills and knowledge can be highly beneficial to us all, and… I am willing to give a second chance to someone who shows signs of making good use of it.” After all, considering the chance HE was given, he’d like to show that level of faith in someone else. Sure, he was accused of blind optimism, but where’s hope if he didn’t? “However, I anticipate that Mr. Wallace would be in favor of execution, however, he may change his mind in time. He has… for others.”   
  
“So, Four to keep the Doc alive. One against.” The Wutian girl leaned back in the chair, bobbing in it. “I dunno. I could go against it… I mean, this guy made those SOLDIERs that killed off a lot of my people and invaded my homeland.” However, Yuffie leaned forward, folding her arms on the table as she glanced about. “So, killing him off is letting him off the hook WAY too easy. I say he stays alive and works to pay for what he did… as Cloud’s Uke.”   
  
“My, how generous of you, Princess Kiseragi.” Hojo stated with a politeness made razor sharp by the slight tightening of his smile, and as he shifted a look to Cloud, the blonde considered changing his vote. Then again, he wasn’t even sure there WAS a way to kill the man.   
  
As eyes turned to Reno, he sat up slightly. “Huh? I get a say in this, yo?” He shrugged slightly. “Hey. I say keep the Doc. He’s useful and like the Captain said, makes this scavenger hunt a whole helluva lot easier. ‘Sides. Since we’re dealing with his fanboy Fuhito out there, we could always use him as bait to try to catch the slippery bastard. Hard to do it when he’s dead.”   
  
“My vote is cast in favour.” Rufus stared through the video, sitting back. “I have too many questions that need answering. And, I am not going to be the only one to shoulder the price of ShinRa’s past, Professor. I will make you work for your life and your freedom.”   
  
“Understandable.” Was the only reply given by the scientist, and Cloud gave him a long look before exhaling a low sigh.   
  
“Seven to one in favour.” Reeve continued. “While I am mostly certain Tifa would agree with Cloud, there could be every possibility she has personal reasons to choose otherwise. A neutral vote until we hear from her. Vincent… is away.”   
  
“Oh, you’d think he’d vote to put a bullet in his brain,yo. He’d probably come up with some ‘Death is too kind. Let him live...and suffer’ sort of dark broody thing. Can’t tell until we ask him.” Reno remarked but this seemed to make Yuffie pop up in her seat.   
  
“Yeah, been meaning to ask, where is my favourite Vampire with a gun? Taking a walk?”   
  
“He is away on a mission with Elena and Tseng.” Rufus replied calmly.   
  
“Oh, what kind of a mission?”   
  
“Hunting down Don Corneo’s porn vault in Midgar, yo!” Immediately Yuffie began busting into gleeful mirth, hugging her sides.   
  
“Gaia, Reno… don’t put it so unprofessionally...” Rufus sighed, rubbing his hand over his eyes as he felt the professionalism of the organization fall into tatters.   
  
“Yeah, it got a giggle out of Blondie, too.” Reno grunted and grinned at Cloud with the elbow jabbed to his ribs, but he looked to Yuffie who gave a hiccup.   
  
“Picturing Vinny digging in piles of smut?”

  
“Nah!” Yuffie managed to finally settle down into giggles. “I mean, yeah, that’s funny… but it’s not in Midgar.“   
  
Spines all around the table straightened, heads turning to the young woman who was blinking, glancing around as she wiped the tears of mirth from her eyes.   
  
“What?” Rufus intoned sharply, and already Reno was tapping on his PHS looking to the Ninja.   
  
“Well, Duh. Where do you think Hentai is made? And do you think Conholio would keep his precious porn collection in a place with a giant city pancake barely balanced over it?”   
  
“Wutai.”   
  
“Bingo!” She gave finger guns to Rufus, and suddenly Reno held his PHS away from his ear, turning it to speaker phone as he placed it on the table. Immediately, gunshots could be heard, and distantly, a faint roar.    
  
“Tseng! The hell is goin’ on?”   
  
“Ambush. Ravens.”   
  
“Shit!”   
  
Glancing up to Rufus on the screen, the nod was all he needed. “Fall back! Abort mission, yo! Grab Elena and Vinny and get out of there!”   
  
“Affirmative.”   
  
The PHS cut out to a dull beep before Reno turned it off, staring at the table.   
  
“Reno...” Hojo asked calmly, writing something down upon the paper. “...just out of curiosity, were there any reports of Avalanche in Junon recently?”   
  
“Yeah, why?” A circle was made on the parchment before he set the pen down.   
  
“Then I propose we travel to Wutai swiftly.”   
  
“I’ll tell Vincent to let him know to meet us there.” Cloud began typing into the PHS.   
  
“That will do perfectly.” A baffled Cid stared to Hojo with a genuinely flummoxed look.    
  
“I thought you and Vinny hated each other like cats and dogs...” He paused, then glanced to Nanaki. “...no offense.”   
  
“None taken.” The leonine hybrid looking being remarked amiably.   
  
“Perhaps, but I have larger concerns than his animosity at the moment.”    
  
“Such as?”   
  
Such as, how long has Wutai been housing and funding Avalanche, Princess Kiseragi?”    
  
“Eh? Well, since the War, really, but we don’t give them money or anything anymore after the Sephiroth thing. Pretty much why I was able to stop stealing Materia to pay them off and do real adventuring! Now, they just kinda hang around. Why do you ask?”   
  
“Shit, kid, you missed one HELL of a conversation earlier.” Cid groaned as he waved to Reeve and Rufus to take the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AUTHOR’S NOTES: The General stuff  
> 1\. DISCLAIMER: Final Fantasy VII, the setting, and the characters therein are property of Square-Enix, created by an amazing team, and inspired a good many people. I do not own any of the characters or setting, but I am playing in the world with a fan’s love. If you haven’t bought the FFVIIR remake, go out and get it! A fantastic adventure. Also, that soundtrack is glorious.
> 
> 2\. CHAPTER QUOTES: What writer doesn’t love using inspirational quotes, and there are the usual ones people go to… songs, Shakespear, famous writers and scientists. I decided to go full challenge and use James T Kirk quotes. Why? For one thing, I wanted a creative challenge. And the other...as campy as the character may be, there are some inspirational yet human quotes. Well, with what I have planned, it works well!
> 
> 3\. TRIGGERS: Every. Word. Is. A. Potential. Trigger. Literature is a den of dangers. If you are a blooming flower not ready to handle a literary storm that can grow hot and thrilling, you might want to either buckle in for a wild ride, or find a milder fic. Any trigger complaints will be forwarded to the HR department of ACME Writers LLC as trigger complaints are above my paygrade. I just work here as a writer.
> 
> 4\. LEVELS OF SPICE: So people have an idea what to expect, I have levels of intensity, or ‘spicy’ as I call it. Starting with Mild, Medium, Hot… and going from there, the reader can have an idea what to expect without me giving away everything that’s happening in the header note. Check the tags, because they get updated with every chapter.
> 
> 5\. SOMEWHAT AU: Somewhat AU because I add to the lore (what’s fanfiction without crack pairings) and adjust it here and there intentionally, but all in all, it’s the world of the Compilation. But if something seems out of place, it’s intentional most likely. I’d been into FFVII since the first release. 
> 
> 6\. HOJO: Here’s what I know some of you are here for (he does have his fans), and I hope you will be in for a surprise. This is a character I intend to represent in a deeper manner, different than the ‘evil cackling mad scientist just because evil and mad’. I like to think of cause and effect, and I do enjoy exploring the grey zones. Hence the title, Phantasma...the reality of what people think and what actually is can both be true. 
> 
> 7\. FEEDBACK: I am always grateful for readers, and any feedback is loved more than you can imagine! This story line is one I have been nursing for a while, tinkered with and discussed with other people, played in RP, but I want to share it with many people! Speculations are always welcome, and I like to hear how things struck people. Also, since I don’t have a Beta, pardon any oopses.
> 
> 8\. ARTISTS: Are loved and adored! If this inspires you, you have my blessing. I will make links to any art you share and give love and credits!
> 
> AUTHOR’S NOTES: The Chapter Stuff  
> 1\. NEW CHAPTER: Almost everyone is at the table. And it’s CRAZY. They’re crazy. The world is crazy. That’s what makes it interesting.
> 
> 2\. CLOUD/HOJO: The back and forth is fun and organic to write, but I really wanted to emphasize how Cloud had adapted so suddenly to him without realizing it, like an anchor he hadn’t realized he needed to keep him from getting swept away. It was more than a coincidental odd hookup, there was a NEED, a void that Hojo seemed to fill for him, and in Cloud using him for his benefit it lessens the traumatic hold the man had on him. Reversing the table. Also. Cloud is a dork. But so is Hojo.
> 
> 3\. YUFFIE: She’s a pain in the ass, but I figured in her older age she gets less obnoxious. Also, people tend to forget, she IS a princess. Because in the Canon Wutai funded Avalanche, and she was collecting materia for her homeland to help free it… I just put 2 and 2 together to come up this this forgone conclusion that they would have a branch nested in Wutai. I will not apologize for that pun. Also, her fujoshi(women deeply into arts depicting gay males) side starts showing as she uses the terms ‘Seme’ and ‘Uke’ for Cloud and Hojo. 
> 
> 4\. BARRETT: He’s not a big dumb stereotype bruiser and at first he may seem so in this story, but there will be more shown later in the chapters. Is he the sharpest knife in the drawer? No. Does he have a big heart? Yes. Has he had to made some awful decisions in the past for a greater cause, YES. I wanted to tackle the side of addiction that comes with loyalty or fandom. AVALANCHE used people and I figured he was one they used as a recruiting linchpin, making him one of their more PR front pawns masked as eco friendly (but not people friendly) vigilantes, and he had no idea. A man has his pride, and his has shielded him from seeing some of what he may have struggled with, but no one dared approach him because he was so enwrapped to listen. His response to having his beliefs challenged was natural.


	10. The Answer is No

Chapter 10: The Answer is No  
  


“The answer is no. I am, therefore, going anyway.” - James T. Kirk  
(Star Trek III: The Search for Spock)

***

 _Generic All Purpose Trigger Warning_ . _Check the tags._  
 **_Chapter Level: SPICY!_ **

_***_

  
“I don’t trust you.” Cloud groused in between bites in the galley, scooping up beans loaded with meaty chunks. It was like high quality field food he remembered in his time as a trooper. Or rather, when he had that mess cook in their platoon from Gongaga who could make delicious belly filling food with damned near everything. “I shouldn’t trust you.” He clarified to the man across from him who was eating as well, albeit with slightly more refined manners, spoon held almost elegantly. “But I need you.”  
  
“I am well aware of that.” Hojo replied, watching as Cloud shifted uncomfortably, squirming somewhat with evident discomfort. Really, how long HAD it been since their bizarre moment in the bunks? The lad must surely be craving a shower by that point. The congealed semen must have practically been like pudding in his pants. And that was the purposeful reason why Hojo picked the quivering creamy vanilla dessert to sit upon his tray, taunting the blonde. He claimed he was not AS maniacally sadistic as he once was, but it by no means meant he did not have that wicked streak cleansed.  
  
“You need ME, though.” Cloud finally stated, and to this Hojo paused mid bite, eyebrows raised high. Reaching up to nudge the brim of the hat back a tad, he leaned in closer to speak to Cloud.  
  
“And you think that your protection of ‘ownership’ is the collar that will keep me leashed, Boy? I will do as I wish, because it is so. I am finished with taking orders. From petty office clerks, from men paying my paycheck...” He jabbed a bit viciously at a piece of meat to shear it “… from HER.”

The viciousness made Cloud tense, because this was a break from the man he’d witnessed over the past few days, a hint of the old Hojo that wrought fear. He was not a different man, only tempered. It made his blood go chill. However, the direction it was aimed… THAT was the most interesting thing.  
  
“Hojo… you really hate Jenova, don’t you.”  
  
“More than you can possibly imagine.” The raven haired man muttered before sealing his words behind a mouthful of beans.  
  
“But there’s a part of you that still wants her.” Cloud hazarded, beginning to fit a few puzzle pieces together, and as those witchfire green eyes peered to him from above the tinted glasses, he knew it all too well. “And you’re afraid of her.” As those slender fingers twitched, nearly dropping the spoon, bit by bit Cloud grew more confident in his assessment. “Because you don’t know that if you slip again, you’ll be able to come out of it.”  
  
“I am not certain I would WANT to come out of it.” The scientist stated. Cloud dipped his eyes down to his plate, weighing those words. It was familiar, wasn’t it. Cloud slipped, but he normally had friends there to help catch him. To help cheer him up, or call him back. What would he become if he never pulled from Sephiroth’s… no… Jenova’s puppet strings? Cloud stared to the man across from him and considered that he could well be looking at himself.  
  
“Understandable.” Cloud simply stated, and that earned a look of surprise from the older man. But then… as he shifted slightly in his seat, he shuddered with a wince, curling his toes in his boots. It was like some horrible torture of shame. What the HELL was he thinking? Doing that to a person? To HOJO?! Not that the man didn’t deserve it, but Gaia the man was creepy. WAS. Now, decked in dungarees of the slightly faded blue of honest wear, he looked human. Oh, someone old enough to be Cloud’s father, but there was something… less unappealing. Especially with how human he acted around the blonde. He just never imagined himself ‘molesting’ the other man, as Reno would put it. He’d never call it that. “About… earlier...” Cloud began.  
  
“You do realize I am rather upset that you left me like that.” The words were spoken in a cool low tone with a curl of menace that made Cloud’s spine tingle and heart flit to a quicker pace… a tone that SHOULD have terrified him, but it had the opposite effect.  
  
“And I’m really sorry about that! But… I mean… before that...” Cloud’s voice trailed off.  
  
“Hmm? Whatever do you mean?” Hojo inquired with a raise of his brow, veritably TAUNTING Cloud as he languidly trailed his spoon through the pudding sitting in a cool congealed pile. It was slick, obscene sounding, and made the swordsman absolutely aware of his own sin he was basking in within his shorts. The pink tongue darted out to dance over soft plush lips that suddenly felt dry as Cloud felt a dizzying rush of blood surge through his body. The bastard. He was going to make Cloud say it. Well, he did say he would have his revenge… Cloud simply expected something a bit more… gruesome. Or Mad science oriented.  
  
“When I had you on the bed and I...” Heat rose to his cheeks, raced to the pit of his belly, and for a moment, Cloud had to grip the table because he was reeling from the sensation, staring to those eyes peering with a keen intensity to his own, watching, observing.  
  
“...had your way with me while I was bound and helpless?” The scientist purred the low words, and they went straight to Cloud’s groin because, Gaia, it was so horrible, so wrong but so sinful and something the younger man felt he WANTED. “When you used my body, vulnerable and weak to your superior strength, to seek your pleasure, and you reached your peak while rutting between my legs spread for your pleasure?”  
  
“Yes.” Cloud breathed the word… whether to answer, or to encourage this bizarre twisted conversation, but he was leaning closer, aroused to the point of aching and briefly entertaining slamming the man teasing him with such detail upon the table and having a repeat performance.  
  
“Do you truly regret it?” Hojo purred in an intimately low tone.  
  
“No… Gaia… no.”

  
And then, Cloud stared, watching hungrily as Hojo trailed a finger through the pudding to capture a creamy gob, those eyes locked with the enhanced young man’s own. It was obscene, looking every bit like the pleasure Cloud wished, no, NEEDED to spill, and he could feel a dizzying wave overcome him.  
  
“Good. Because, truthfully, I was flattered.” That finger was popped between the scientist’s lips before he leaned back, breaking that lurid act before wiping his hands off delicately on the napkin.  
  
This action, while like a lustful squeeze to his groin, also struck Cloud as perplexing. He thought Hojo would have been mad at him for essentially groping and grinding him without his consent, but he was… the opposite?  
  
“You’re... flattered? But… you protested...” Cloud began.  
  
“In part more for your benefit than mine because I have no desire to be executed by your little friends who would consider me preying upon their vulnerable friend and doing unspeakable torments and corruption.”  
  
Well, Cloud had to admit, as bizarre as that reasoning was, it did make sense. The blond hero he had some pretty scary friends when they weren’t being their usual oddball selves.  
  
“However, the majority of my protest is that in the position I was in. You were forcing my firearm into my spine. Do you know how it feels to have a metal wedge being ground between your vertebrae?”  
  
Cloud stared as the scientist sipped his coffee.  
  
“But… you were hard!” Cloud protested, and suddenly he began to wonder EXACTLY what reasonable boundaries the man had. It was more than a little concerning. Shouldn’t it have offended or unsettled the man? “As I used you like that!”  
  
“That, I will not deny.” Hojo stated as set the cup down, then leaned closer, giving a low hiss. “However, abandoning me in that state was NOT flattering in the least.” Something about this hinted at more than a little discomfort, but in that moment, Cloud could only stare at Hojo as the scientist leaned further over the table, that chain slipping free to dangle, the ring upon it swinging like a pendulum as he whispered low words.  
  
“I can smell your arousal, Mr. Strife… I can see it in your eyes. I wonder how long it would take for it to become too much and you lose this farce of civility? Would you slam me upon this table as you did mine, and give your friends a show? Or will you sit there throbbing, aching in restraint as you think of what you could have had tonight, had you not tethered me like some sex toy to your rack.” That. It was EXACTLY what Cloud wanted to do. To throw this smug sly man down and teach him a lesson in WHO was the one with the power. But Hojo was right… his friends would see it. And what a show they would see… a show that wicked part whispered would be tempting to perform.  
  
When those blue eyes laced with green, pupils flicking into cat slits, Hojo leaned back, pausing as he considered he may have pushed too far, then he sat back as he had been before, calmly finished the last of the pudding, and spoke finally as he stood to rise. “Do enjoy your cold shower.” And with that, the scientist turned to walk away, lips tugged into a crafty smirk. Well, he did promise torment. He simply did it without laying a single finger on Cloud. As he heard the low moan of frustration behind him, Hojo considered his work accomplished.  
  
He also made damned sure he couldn’t be found when Cloud returned to his quarters to, indeed, suffer with his cold shower. On his way back, he considered how spiteful the man could be, but when Reeve caught the swordsman in the hallway for a small chat to update him on a recent sighting in Junon, he had to take the time to handle that discussion. One of Fuhito’s minions shortly after Cloud had left, and Reeve congratulated him for beating them to the punch… though, it was a little too close for comfort. Then again, it had been a great deal lately. His annoyance was only replaced by exhaustion. The logistics of this mission were becoming absurdly frustrating because it seemed Avalanche was always there to meet them at every corner.  
  
When Cloud returned though, he was greeted to a VERY unsettling sight. Hojo was sitting there upon the rack… legs crossed, arms crossed, and on the side cabinet shelf set into the wall was a tray that held a pair of syringes. It was intentional, Cloud decided. Hojo was sitting there in black sleep pants, a black shirt kept open and loose to bare his chest, and his hair… was down. Not merely loose, but combed silky smooth until it had a luster that was almost blue, the scent of an exotic oil evident. The aroma of soap still clung… so the man managed to squirrel himself a shower behind Cloud’s back. Still, it was pleasing to Cloud’s senses.  
  
But the lighting was slightly dimmed and it made those virulent viridian eyes stand out in a shocking glow as he settled a firm stern stare to Cloud that made the younger man’s insides melt a little. It was like Sephiroth’s intense gaze that could fixate and make Cloud tingle and warm even as his mind felt an edge of fearing his wrath. Of course, if Hojo truly WAS the one who raised Sephiroth, then just maybe the General picked up some habits from him.  
  
“It is time for treatment, Mr. Strife.” The words were calm, practical, almost coldly neutral, but that gaze was impossibly intense. Cloud dropped his toiletry kit into the gear locker nearby, shuddering as his eyes drifted to the pair of syringes. NOW... now those old fears, the nightmares returned. However, Hojo did not look ANYTHING like he did, so it was not as terrifying, yet, still! As Cloud pressed his back to the cold metal of the door in his sleep pants and tshirt, fear made his heart patter. No. Not again. He couldn’t go through that again.  
  
“Come here, Mr. Strife.” Hojo spoke coolly, calmly, pointing to the spot beside him on the bed. Cloud refused to move, and the scientist drew a deep breath, exhaling slowly.  
  
“I supposed it would come to this.” And then slowly, he began rolling up his sleeve, speaking again, but in a more calm neutral tone, the stiff edge soothed down. “This is your stabilizer, Strife. You need it to prevent the Jenova Whispers from meddling with your thoughts.” Slowly, a measure of a slightly glowing substance in a bottle was drawn into both of the syringes.  
  
“I don’t want to go anywhere near you with a shot in your hand. Especially if it looks like… that.”  
  
“And that makes perfect sense.” Hojo remarked as he began tying a thick latex band above his own elbow, then held one of the prepared injections up for Cloud who looked utterly perplexed.  
  
“What?”  
  
“As you can see, both syringes hold the same substance and the same quantity. This is perfectly safe for you and I. The amount of purified mako in there is merely enough to maintain a healthy level for you. ”  
  
“You want me to stick myself?” Cloud hazarded.  
  
“If you would prefer. However I am offering for you to give my dose first to ease your anxiety. I am certain you are experienced with performing an injection.”  
  
This… this was a rather unexpected level of trust being placed in Cloud. Then again, considering their past together… Hojo would have to be even MORE insane to think Cloud would be happy to receive more injections from him. However, the man was crafty enough to put the power, the coveted control, into Cloud’s own hand. Not merely for himself, but for the scientist that had experimented and enhanced him without an inkling of regret. Slowly, Cloud took the syringe, and as Hojo held his arm out, Cloud approached. This. This felt fine. It was different. New. In fact, it was empowering and a relief seemed to fill Cloud as he felt for the plumped vein Hojo had exposed for him. It was almost like the field medical aid work he had performed, or giving vaccines to Marlene and Denzel. They were tools to help... not harm others.  
  
Of course, he purposefully applied a liberal amount of alcohol over the skin with the wipe before jabbing in with full intentions to make it sting. Bastard deserved it. Hojo barely gave the barest of a flinch, however, apparently used to none too gentle applications of an injection. In fact, he merely smiled slightly, looking pleased with Cloud. The young man had done well, even if the shot shy mercenary managed to be a tad spiteful about it.  
  
Cloud felt himself shiver, head swimming as he looked to the other syringe in the tray. It was Hojo. It was HIS making, and as he looked to the man who mercifully did not erupt into frothing hysteria or turn into a nightmarish tentacle mutation, Cloud felt somewhat relieved. Nothing instantaneously nasty. He paused, however, as he let his eyes drift to the parted shirt that displayed that lean tightly toned torso built more for flexibility than power or strength. The skin was smooth, creamy, and not a hair nor scar to be seen. Kind of surprising for a man of Hojo’s age, but he did mention side effects.  
  
“Something on your mind, Mr. Strife?” The questioning eyes raised to the Wutian who looked even more fox-like, striking, an eyebrow raised as he observed Cloud’s face as the sunny haired young man realized he was staring. Cloud set the syringe on the tray and leaned in closer, untying the band from that arm that was beginning to flush the same hue as his own cheeks, and he could drink in the other man’s scent. It was a strange counterpoint to the situation, and he wanted nothing more than to bask in it, forget about the damned pointy thing in the tray waiting for him. Hojo looked so damned alluring despite his abhorrence for the scientist. He wondered if the old man was fucking with his mind again. Sure enough, the older man rose from the bedding, stepping forward to the blonde and slipped those long wicked fingers into the soft golden locks in a caressing trail of agile hands that felt sinfully good. This man could bring pain, but he could just as easily bring pleasure with the same skill and knowledge, and right in that moment, Cloud relished that he was the one to see this rare side of the mad man.  
  
“That was the worst shower.” Cloud groaned as he began to feel that stirring return. “I don’t want another one, Doc.”  
  
“Then…” Hojo murmured softly, turning slightly and guiding Cloud to back towards the bunk, warm long fingers carefully coaxing the aroused but jittery young man to the perfect position. “... do you want me to make sure you do not need another trip to the showers?” At first, Cloud was wary, expecting some cruel teasing trick to happen. Cold rub on his crotch, tying HIM up and leaving him desperate. But instead, the man who terrified him in the past trailed his hands in a gentle caress along the blonde’s torso to settle Cloud to sit upon the rack. Then, those haunting glowing green eyes locked with luminous blue as the older man sank slowly to kneel between those strong legs he gently pressed to spread.  
  
“Oh, Gaia, yes...” The words escaped the blonde as he drank in the sight of the demon of his past. On his knees. Before Cloud. Hands upon the fighter’s legs like some manner of obedient pet awaiting a command. It was a powerful illusion crafted by this intimate position, but it burned through Cloud’s blood and made his mind greedily latch onto it.  
  
“Tell me what you want… Cloud...” Hojo breathed a soft purr of his words before he leaned in to nuzzle the tent beginning to show, rubbing his cheek along Cloud’s inner thigh, and the blonde’s heart rate skyrocketed. The sound of his personal name, the contact… the SIGHT before him. Hojo was a monster, but in that moment, he was CLOUD’s monster and tamed by a desire to please HIM.  
  
“I want you to make me feel good...” Cloud moaned, the words he would have been too mortified to admit escaping his lips, something freeing in that, and as he felt warm lips placing gentle kisses along his inner thigh towards his groin, the words began to spill free as he laced his fingers into those long silken locks that felt so soft, so GOOD between his fingers. Like reins to a spirited mount he tugged, guiding that dark haired head where he wanted it. “I want your mouth.” It felt filthy to admit it, yet freeing, and like some terrible tangle had some woven layer cut to flutter freely, allowing him to breathe easier.  
  
A low coo of a moan escaped Cloud as tender nibbles and gentle warm kisses were placed along his trapped length, those long fingers stroking along Cloud’s thighs slowly to tease and caress the sensitive nerves on the insides of his legs near his groin. It was like nothing Cloud ever experienced, or imagined. And his imagination had some really bizarre things lately.  
  
The soft lower lip was bitten as Hojo shifted slightly, placing nips and kisses along his belly as those finger curled into the waistband of the flannel pants. “Would you like these off?”  
  
“Oh, Gaia, yes!” And it was mere seconds as those deft hands slipped both his pants and the boxers off to show the mercenary’s lower half. As he felt the rush of cool air hit his skin, shame and embarrassment followed, and Cloud tried to squirm and close his legs, but the man wedged between them kept them spread and all his most intimate parts on display. It was humiliating, especially as those luminous viridian eyes trailed over the sight of his ardently standing cock Cloud felt such shame over.  
  
“Please… don’t go looking...” The hand that tried to dart down was intercepted, and a surprisingly tender kiss was settled upon Cloud’s wrist.  
  
“I have seen it all before, do not worry.”  
  
While that was true, it did not entirely eliminate Cloud’s deepset mortification. He was not well endowed… a rather small penis even while erect, and balls that were small and dainty… almost boyish looking thanks to how damned smooth and hairless he was down there. He was mocked by other men in his troop for his size, but afterwards and the changes to his skin? He’d be damned if he let anyone see. And there Hojo was, staring at it as if it was the first time. Which made things more awkward, because wasn’t he on display for the man in that damned tube?  
  
“It’s embarrassing! Stop staring!” Cloud hissed, trying to tug that dark hair. And yet, his length oozed pre, not flagging in the least due to his mortification.  
  
“What is there to be embarrassed about? This is for me. What a lovely gift.” And much to Cloud’s shock and unexpected pleasure… those eyes raised from his shameful body part to meet his own eyes as a soft tender kiss was placed upon the tip. Then another, and another… sending a pleasant path of worship as the kneeling man gave a low hum of contentment, watching the shame melt away into windswept pleasure on those angelic features.  
  
And it truly was a gift, Cloud simply did not realize it. The reclusive scientist missed the feel of a warm body, the taste of humanity. And all it would take would be for a word to make him stop, a pull of his hair to pry him away. But Cloud did not. He only cooed those sweet noises and tugged the dark hair for more. Hojo was encouraged, and he delighted in rewarding this with gentle worship. Kisses turned to mouthing, then languid kittenish laps as Hojo rubbed his hands along Cloud’s thighs to gradually and gently spread them wider, caressing those inner sensitive spots as he explored the feel of soft supple skin over tight muscle in search of a familiar throbbing.  
  
A throbbing of the tempo matching the one against his lips. As Hojo heard the panting above him, he kissed and suckled at the supple pair of testicles in their silken feeling pouch, and he watched the utterly beautiful sight of Cloud’s face awash in pleasure and desire. It was rather adorable… so innocent, yet so carnal. And all his to enjoy in that moment.  
  
“Gaia… yes...” The blonde gasped, bucking his hips, and as he dipped his head back with the feel of that mouth closing over his length, suckling down to the root, those blue eyes touched with green fluttered half closed. Shame was nothing to him in that moment. He had the Promised Land he was burying his cock into... hot, wet, and wonderful. Slowly rolling his hips, his imagination took wing, and his memory dragged up those pictures. He was no longer being serviced by Hojo, the demon of his past… he was burying himself into 00’s throat. He couldn’t see the face, but he didn’t care. He began thrusting into that mouth that suckled greedily at his cock, grinding over that nimble wriggly tongue with every drag.  
  
“Good… so good.” He felt viril, powerful, and gripping that hair to hammer his hips to bruise those lips wrapped around his cock was an intoxicating high. With the soft hums that seemed to respond to the praise, the slurping and suckling increasing, he eased one of his tight gripping hands to rub down along the other’s spine, making it curl in an arch. “Good boy… very good...”  
  
It certainly seemed to be doing something for Cloud, and he curled his fingers into the fabric as the enhanced fighter began bucking harder with brutal fleshy smacks. A distant part of his mind told him that he could break a regular human’s jaw with the strength snapping his hips, but he didn’t care. He wanted to mark and claim that mouth as his own. It was when a nimble tongue snaked past those saliva drooling lips to catch one of his balls to pull into the hot tight seal of those lips that Cloud cried out, slamming hard, and tensing as he felt a sudden pinch to his inner thigh. Soon heat was racing in from that spot and the mercenary was grinding to the back of that throat he imagined as 00, making it clench, choke and the spasms rippled around his cock like the the perfect sex toy.  
  
Maybe it was from the peak of pleasure, or how pent up he was from earlier, but he came in hard gut clenching spurts, glazing that hot twitching throat. Darting his hands forward, he cupped around that throat he could feel moving in swallows, an erotic undulation as every drop of his own seed was swallowed dutifully.  
  
Heaving panting breath as he finally succumbed to the post orgasm bliss, Cloud finally lowered his head, expecting to see 00… face hidden and number prominently displayed. Instead, it was a rather smugly amused looking scientist kneeling there, licking lingering cum from the abuse swollen and flushed lips like a cat would cream. For a moment, the winded warrior simply stared, trying to get his mind to comprehend what happened, but as the scientist held up the depleted syringe with a mischievous grin, and pointed it towards the rapidly fading red dot on Cloud’s inner thigh, realization suddenly came flooding in for the past test subject who had been panicking earlier. No fear or the usual anxiety was remotely near. He was simply… sated. Pleased. Happy. And warm in every way.  
  
“You brilliant bastard.” Cloud gasped before he slumped back on the rack.  
  
“Yes, I know I am.” The syringe was placed into the pan with a soft thunk, and the cover was sealed onto it before he reached up with a handkerchief to politely dab his mouth and chin.

***

“No, Cloud.” The answer was resolute, stern. Two things one rarely saw in Reeve Tuesti until he was pushed to shelve his nice guy personality for something with a little more grit and practicality.  
  
“I am telling you, we need to go to Wutai.” Cloud continued. “Since Avalanche was at Midgar looking for the same thing, it’s only time before they realize to look in Wutai!”  
  
“And I am telling you, that it is too dangerous. We need for the others to rendezvous here and formulate a plan before we enter. Reno is flying out right now to collect the other Turks.”  
  
“I can go and meet back up...”  
  
“No, Cloud! You claimed responsibility for Hojo, you are not going to leave him here while you trot off to Wutai.”  
  
“I was planning on taking him with me.”  
  
“Are you CRAZY Cloud? Avalanche is there!”  
  
“And that’s why we need to get the tape before they do.”  
  
“It’s too risky! Fuhito is after him, and after what I heard from Nanaki, you too!” Reeve crossed his arms as he shook his head, worry evident on those careworn features, and he seemed hell bent to stand his ground.

Hojo knew better than to get himself involved in that conversation. Debate. Small verbal skirmish. Whatever. Instead, he was standing on the deck of the parked Shera, staring out to the landscape awashed in early morning light. When he heard heavy footsteps approaching, and he could feel the irritation ebbing off of the large man behind him, the scientist silently readied himself despite that casual poise, preparing himself physically and mentally for what may come. He remained resting with his arms on the railing, the gentle wind stirring his hair held into a lazy low ponytail.  
  
“Good morning, Mr Wallace. It truly is a stunning view, isn’t it.”  
  
“I don’t like it.” Barret growled, approaching with a grim gait, stopping by the railing and glaring to the legendary terrifying scientist who… seemed hardly so terrifying in that moment. He was trying to puzzle the man out. Oh, he was mistrustful, but Reeve and Nanaki went a long way to talking him down from his upset ire and desire to put a bullet in the man’s head. And… Yuffie DID point out a very valid point to him. Each of them probably had a kill count substantially higher than the scientist. It still didn’t make things right, though.  
  
“I suppose it isn’t for everyone… but between being sequestered in a steel and concrete tower and nestled in a wooden cabin in the middle of nowhere, it is a pleasant novelty for me.”  
  
“That ain’t what I mean, and ya know it.” That was what annoyed the hell out of Barret. This man had surprises. He twisted expectations, pulled things the taller man did not expect from places he didn’t anticipate, and acted ever so flippant about it. It was infuriating that the man just didn’t seem to follow expectations.  
  
“I heard you have a little girl.” As the rather protective father tensed, muscles curled to form like stones under the dark skin, and the scientist waved a slender hand. “Do not worry… I am not threatening you, nor do I intend to bring harm to her. It simply gave me food for thought and I realized… perhaps we may have something in common.”  
  
“Yeah, and what’s that?” The words came slowly, low with a wary distrust, but the metal of that prostetic rang against the railing as Barret leaned against it, poised to act if he had to.  
  
“We would both do anything for our children.” Hojo stated simply. “Go to any means to ensure them the best future we can give.”  
  
That earned a rather sharp look mingling surprise and disbelief from the Corel born man, however, the miner turned rebel furrowed his brows in thought.  
  
“Ya mean Sephiroth.”

“I was his guardian.” Hojo was quick to state. “However, I have raised him since birth.”  
  
“Pretty fuckin’ awful father. I heard about some of what ya did to him. No wonder he went goddamn crazy.”  
  
“Well, yes, understandably, from an outside perspective, what I did was cruel, and I may have seemed a bit cold.”  
  
“Cold? Ya treated him like guinea pig, not a kid! From what I heard, ya did things to him like ya did to Cloud. I wouldn’t be surprised if he hated you! Hell, I don’t know why Spike ain’t killin’ yo ass!”  
  
“Those are very true points, and Sephiroth did not have any warmth for me. However, that was entirely what I intended.”  
  
“Are ya fuckin’ crazy?! Why would a dad do that to yo kid?! Dontcha care?!”  
  
“I cared, yes. Enough to make him despise me.” With the sputtering beside him, the scientist continued. “Mr. Wallace, do you know what comes with great power? People who would exploit the powerful. People who would find each and every weakness and utilize unspeakable means to control or destroy it. I knew that Sephiroth would be tested, challenged, so I gave him every physical strength and durability that I could. I knew he would become a warrior, thus I ensured he had the finest training and care. However, I never did anything I did not know he could not physically handle.”  
  
“That’s...” Barret began, and trailed off. He’d tried to give Marlene everything he could, even when times were at their worst and money at its leanest. “But why wouldya make him hate yo guts?”  
  
Tto this, Hojo withdrew a pack of cigarettes, tapping one out. As he lit a glowing cherry to take that first drag, his eyes turned towards the horizon behind the tinted glasses. This waiting chewed at the larger man who preferred honest simple communication, but he wanted to hear what the hell this crackpot had to say. What kind of sordid excuse he had.  
  
“I did not wish to become a weakness for him. If he became too attached, he would be hurt in ways that ran deeper than his strength. I wanted to make him impervious to people like Heidegger or Scarlett, and especially President ShinRa. I sullied any affections he crafted, displaced any attendants he grew fond of, and instilled in him that he was all he needed. I wanted to prevent him from being used by people who would exploit his weaknesses, even if one of them could be me.”  
  
“FUCKIN’ CRAZY BASTARD!!!” The scientist nearly choked on his cigarette as he felt a large hand grab him by the scruff of his neck and yank him back to have no choice but meet the furious gaze of Barret. Those thick hard working fingers could snap his neck with ease, and they made his scalp sting like acid from the tight tangle they had in his hair. The younger man had his full attention. “Ya can’t DO that to kids, damn fool! They need friends! They need love! They need hugs! Or they grow up and try to destroy the whole damn world!”  
  
“Well, yes, on hindsight, I failed in that regard. I said that was my thinking, I did not say it was sound at the time. I suppose a father will do any terrible thing for their child’s future.”  
  
The regret that accidentally slipped out of the scientist’s tone was rather unexpected, but what made Barret stop short was how those slipped glasses dipped down the scientist’s nose and he could see tears welling in those mako tinted eyes. His grip eased on the man’s neck, letting the ponytail escape his grasp first, then his neck. The protective bear of a man’s gaze softened slightly as his mind began to turn a few things over. Complex issues were not things he enjoyed tackling, but this was one he tried to weigh. What would he have done for his own child if she had been in Sephiroth’s place?  
  
“Come to think of it… I never thought about all that stuff I did, the bombs an’ shit. What it’d do to Marlene. She knew everythin’, saw on the news all the people that died, and just hugged me when I came home and gave me a great big smile. She was so damned young. Never thought until now about seein’ what all that would do to her.”  
  
“Hey! Papa Barret, you’re not stealing Cloud’s Uke, are you?” That chipper voice sounded as the perky Ninja came bouncing from the door. Yuffie peered between the two men, grinning wickedly in a way that made Barret jump away.  
  
“Aw HELL naw! That’s fuckin’ gross!“  
  
“Don’t want Cloud’s sloppy seconds?”  
  
“Fuckin’ hell, Yuffie!” Barret stormed to the door as she stepped aside, hands clasped behind her back and grinning grandly. He paused, though, looking over his shoulder.  
  
“When ya talked about not wantin’ to be a weakness fo yo boy...” He began, but Hojo spoke, removing his ponytail to gently ease his fingers through his hair as if soothing himself.  
  
“When Avalanche kidnapped me, and he was sent with a task force to take out the organization and recover me, priorities being in that particular order, he performed flawlessly and without falter.” He paused, and removed his glasses, wiping the lenses with a cloth pulled from his pocket as the scientist spoke calmly. “If he had emotional concern invested in me… at best, he would have hesitated from using his full strength or withheld certain tactics in worry of harming me. At worst, he would have bartered with Fuhito for my release, however, considering Fuhito’s exuberant interest in me, that trade would have been highly compromised.”  
  
“Fucked up, man.”  
  
“Maybe, but at the time, he was safe, and I am content with that.”  
  
This seemed to settle the large protective man with some deep thoughts to chew and mull over, and he left the deck to stew over his thoughts. Including what happened last night, he had a LOT to consider.  
  
”Jiji-chan, not going to lie, I thought he was going to throw you over the… Holy!” Yuffie gasped, darting forward and leaning closer, staring as she saw the most heartless creature of ShinRa’s lore wipe tears from his eyes. “Are you… crying? I didn’t even know you could do that. How painful was that talk?”  
  
“Very.” The scientist admitted, then winced as he rubbed his fingers through the dark locks gingerly. “He was pulling my hair unbelievably tight when he apprehended me.”  
  
At least, Cloud found the two rather easily… the sounds of Yuffie’s laughter echoing even through the layers of metal, and she was bent over, giggling as she held her belly with both arms.  
  
“I just passed Barret. Not sure what happened… I was expecting a murder scene. What happened?” Cloud asked, rather confused, and rightly so.  
  
“Pull Jiji-chan’s hair and find out.” Yuffie remarked and as Cloud flushed while he tried to look anywhere but at said scientist, she sank once more into laughter.  
  
“It is a natural reaction...” Hojo politely coughed into his hand, but when Cloud’s eyes invariably meandered below the belt in a morbid curiosity, he snapped fingers and gestured with two fingers up to his own face. “... eyes up here.” And when those azure eyes guiltily glanced back up, Cloud saw the lingering wetness before the glasses were replaced. Somehow, that was JUST as arousing…  
  
“Mr. Strife. What did Reeve say?” The scientist inquired, breaking Cloud back to the moment.  
  
“No.” Cloud stated. “So we are heading out in twenty minutes to go anyhow. Get prepared Hojo.” After the man walked past him, he placed his hand on the ninja’s shoulder to stay her stride. “Yuffie… come here for a second. I need for you to go scout ahead. I have an idea.”  
  
“Sure thing Fearless Leader.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AUTHOR’S NOTES: The General stuff  
> 1\. DISCLAIMER: Final Fantasy VII, the setting, and the characters therein are property of Square-Enix, created by an amazing team, and inspired a good many people. I do not own any of the characters or setting, but I am playing in the world with a fan’s love. If you haven’t bought the FFVIIR remake, go out and get it! A fantastic adventure. Also, that soundtrack is glorious.
> 
> 2\. CHAPTER QUOTES: What writer doesn’t love using inspirational quotes, and there are the usual ones people go to… songs, Shakespear, famous writers and scientists. I decided to go full challenge and use James T Kirk quotes. Why? For one thing, I wanted a creative challenge. And the other...as campy as the character may be, there are some inspirational yet human quotes. Well, with what I have planned, it works well!
> 
> 3\. TRIGGERS: Every. Word. Is. A. Potential. Trigger. Literature is a den of dangers. If you are a blooming flower not ready to handle a literary storm that can grow hot and thrilling, you might want to either buckle in for a wild ride, or find a milder fic. Any trigger complaints will be forwarded to the HR department of ACME Writers LLC as trigger complaints are above my paygrade. I just work here as a writer.
> 
> 4\. LEVELS OF SPICE: So people have an idea what to expect, I have levels of intensity, or ‘spicy’ as I call it. Starting with Mild, Medium, Hot… and going from there, the reader can have an idea what to expect without me giving away everything that’s happening in the header note. Check the tags, because they get updated with every chapter.
> 
> 5\. SOMEWHAT AU: Somewhat AU because I add to the lore (what’s fanfiction without crack pairings) and adjust it here and there intentionally, but all in all, it’s the world of the Compilation. But if something seems out of place, it’s intentional, most likely. I’d been into FFVII since the first release. Also, keep the ‘But in Remake it’s...’ badgering to a minimum.
> 
> 6\. HOJO: Here’s what I know some of you are here for (he does have his fans), and I hope you will be in for a surprise. This is a character I intend to represent in a deeper manner, different than the ‘evil cackling mad scientist just because evil and mad’. I like to think of cause and effect, and I do enjoy exploring the grey zones. Hence the title, Phantasma...the reality of what people think and what actually is can both be true. 
> 
> 7\. FEEDBACK: I am always grateful for readers, and any feedback is loved more than you can imagine! This story line is one I have been nursing for a while, tinkered with and discussed with other people, played in RP, but I want to share it with many people! Speculations are always welcome, and I like to hear how things struck people. Also, since I don’t have a Beta, pardon any oopses.
> 
> 8\. ARTISTS: Are loved and adored! If this inspires you, you have my blessing. I will make links to any art you share and give love and credits!
> 
> 9\. WHISPERS: Same term, different thing from the ghastly things of FFVIIR
> 
> AUTHOR’S NOTES: The Chapter Stuff  
> 1\. NEW CHAPTER: It went spicy! Now that’s a good stick. Also, discussions of A+ parenting.
> 
> 2\. CLOUD/HOJO: There is a dichotomy of communication both verbally and physically. The aspect I find fun here is that despite how invasive what Cloud did to Hojo when he frottaged him up, was Hojo was not upset in the least. He wasn’t happy about being left to hang high and dry, but he found his unique revenge. He also took the incentive to help Cloud, and he is finding a rare odd gratification in seeing Cloud so pleased.
> 
> 3\. JENOVA: Hojo isn’t too fond of her at this point… but he knows she is a weakness for him. The same goes for Cloud, but Hojo knows how she works all too well, and he is trying to guide Cloud from the path he had been on. But she is like an addiction for him.
> 
> 4\. BARRET: He is a father most of all, and though he means well, has some difficulties following the torrid tumultuous tirade of chaos that makes up complex multilayered organizations, or evolved businesses. But that is what the people around him are there to help him understand. However, he did recognize how Sephiroth was affected by his upbringing, and SOMEONE had to have a dad to dad talk with Hojo. It left the both of them with food for thought.


End file.
